Chapter 2
The wrinkled fabric of my black dress clung to my skin due to the sweat from the summer heat. The air was humid and smelled of earth. Nothing but sobs and whispers were around me.
I was standing alone viewing my relatives and family friends who came to the funeral. My sister was being comforted by her boyfriend and few friends that came. My brother was talking with some of our cousins. And my mother wept in front of my brother's grave, my father and older relatives trying their best to cheer her up.
After Felix disappeared my family contacted the police. The police, locals, and my family went out to search again. Eventually, it was very late at night so everyone was told to go home. Last week the police informed us that his body was found in a river a few miles away from the fireworks show. Everyone was devastated, it hit my mom the hardest.
I bit my lip and looked down at the grass poking at my exposed skin. I tried my best not to frown and cry in front of everyone else, but the guilt was eating me from the inside. I felt guilty because I know if I just stuck with him for the whole night he wouldn't have gone missing and turned up dead. I felt a few tears run down my face before I started weeping. I tried using my fists to wipe away my tears, but it was pointless, my tears kept coming down like heavy rain on a cold and stormy day.
"Take a deep breath." A voice said. And I did as told, taking a deep breath, exhaling from my mouth. When I looked to the side of me, it was Asaru.
We stayed silent for a minute or so. I was trying to keep a straight face instead of frowning, but it wasn't doing much good. It seemed that Asaru took notice of it and pulled me in for a hug. His left arm pulling my body in and his right patting the back of my head.
"It'll be okay." He whispered. I didn't hold it in for much longer, I let the tears pour out as I buried my face into his shoulder.
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We eventually got home. We all washed up, ate dinner without a peep, and went to sleep. Nothing changed much the next day. Very few words were exchanged between the people of the once very lively and happy house.
Mom seemed more serious, dad was home less than before, my sister was often out, and my brother was studying more. Almost nothing was improving between us until my brother and I forced conversations between everyone during dinner. It was the best communication we've had, but it was the best for now.
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School ended up starting again for me. I was now a sophomore in high school with very few friends. I of course had Asaru by my side, but I also had a friend I made two years ago, Yuza. She was also someone I could count on, and another person in my life I cherished deeply.
It was currently lunch. Asaru had a different period lunch, so I have lunch with Yuza instead.
"Hey, Aspen!" She waved and smiled.
"Oh, hey!" I waved back. We both sat down for lunch. We had both gotten school lunched for today. We both got what I considered the best meal the school provided, chicken nuggets.
"Ugh, I dislike the school lunches," she wined. And I listened to her wine as I ate my lunch. I ate my chicken nuggets one by one while still processing everything she was telling me. She gossips mostly about relationships, girls, and boys that went to our school. I listened to her ramble on about the small things between the students, I added a few words here and there to keep the 'conversation' going, and eventually, the bell rang.
"Wow, lunch went by so fast!" She exclaimed. I nodded as I swallowed the remains of my last nugget. She got up and stretched as I cleaned up my area. We left for our next class.
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"C'mon Aspen! You never walk with me!" She complained.
"Sorry Yuza, I told Asaru I'd walk home with him today," I apologized.
"Well maybe you can ditch him for today," she started twirling her finger in her hair, tapping her right foot up and down in obvious annoyance. "Besides, it's not like we can all walk together, he doesn't even make an effort to talk to me!"
"I know, but I can't force him to do something he doesn't want to do. Besides, we can walk home together tomorrow if you want."
She sighed. "Fine, that's good enough, I guess."
"Alright, it's settled! I'll walk home with you tomorrow!" I exclaimed as I clapped my hands together. "Anyways, I'm gonna go look for Asaru, see you tomorrow!" I waved before walking away. Yuza mumbled something, but I was a bit too far to hear. "Huh? Did you say something?" I yelled as I looked behind me.
"No!" She yelled back as she gestured me to keep walking. I brushed it off and made my way to the gate.
After passing a few classrooms, halls, and students scattered around campus, I finally made it to the gate where I saw Asaru standing. He was staring at the sky and birds, hand over his eyes to protect them from the sun's blinding rays.
"See anything interesting?" I asked as I tapped his shoulders.
"Nothing worth wild. What was keeping you up?" Asaru asked in return as we started walking.
"Mm…well Yuza and I were making plans to walk home tomorrow. She wanted to walk home together today, but I'd feel bad for leaving you behind."
"I'm glad you kept our plans to walk today because I had to decline a hang out with my other friends. It would've been awkward if I declined and walked home alone in my opinion." He laughed a bit at the end.
"Ah, well I'm glad I didn't! I hope you know you don't always need to decline things just to hang with me, I know you have other friends too."
"Yea but-" he stopped. "But I-I like hanging out with you more." I noticed his ears turn a bit red as he lightly scratched his face.
"Really? Well, that's nice to hear. But seriously, you should hang out with other people once in a while." I smiled.
"Aspen!" A voice yelled out. I looked back, no one was behind us. Then I looked back at Asaru, which to my surprise he was unbothered. From his normal expression, I could tell he didn't hear it, so I didn't bother to bring it up with him.
We both were silent for a bit after that. Eventually, Asaru broke the ice.
"How's your family right now? Or is that a bit of a sensitive topic-" I cut Asaru off as I could hear him starting to panic a bit,
"They're ok, thanks for asking. Can't say it's been the normal noisy house though." I mumbled. "It's pretty quiet nowadays."
Asaru just quietly listened to what I had to say for the rest of the walk home. We said our goodbyes as he departed to his house after walking me to mine.
I opened the door to the eerie house. Only my mom and brother were home. I could see my mom silently cleaning the house as I walked in, and knowing my brother was probably studying up in his room right now.
I approached my mom after taking off my shoes at the front door, straightening the pair next to the rest.
"Hi, mom. Do you need some help?" I asked quietly. She shook her head no.
"No, I'm ok." She replied just as quietly as I was. After that, I walked upstairs to my room. I set down my backpack and unpacked my homework and notes onto my desk.
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After half an hour or so of doing my work, I followed through the new routine of the quiet household. Pack my homework, clean my room, take a shower, eat dinner, and go to sleep. Nothing had changed between my family members, we all were still quiet during dinner, except it was emptier since dad was gone.
He went on another business trip yet again. Leaving my mom alone, once again. Before she was alright and lively, now she seems even more sad and lonely during dad's trips than usual. It bothered me that I couldn't do much for her, she only shooed me away so
I could do my own things.
That night I went to sleep with a few questions, guilt, and scattered thoughts on my mind.