Day 3: wishes

I remember that day. The day before we were told that we had to write letters to our parents. When I woke up that morning I knew what I wanted to write about.

It seemed cliche, rolling over to say hello to my new friend. Finding nothing but an empty bed with the blanket falling off on one side. Before I knew, I knew.

It was like my soul was in disbelief while my brain already knew what happened. He was gone. Juan-Pablo Sutton was never coming back. And all that was left was his glasses, with a big crack on one of the lenses. I had seen it all before screaming.

Why did I scream, I don't know. I just knew I was scared. I might've been next. All that anxiety came in a minute.

No one noticed that Juan-Pablo was gone. Not until I pointed a shaky finger to his bed, they saw and gasped loudly. By now the whole cabin of kids gathered staring and whispering around the empty bed. It should have been ten kids there that morning, but there was only eight.

Eight. Only eight. Two gone. Ten minus two is eight!

I think at this point we all knew we weren't safe. I hoped they understood anyways, it seemed most of them shrugged it off because they didn't care. Or because they didn't know Juan-Pablo. I'm not sure. But I am sure that from that day on no one liked me or sympathized with me. Even during breakfast, the kids from other groups would make funny faces at me.

The worst part was that the camp leaders never did anything because all day and in between activities they would get together and whisper. Whisper whisper whisper all day long. That only made me feel worse like the world was ending and no one did anything about it.

Turns out I was only half right.

As you can imagine, some of the leaders pretended nothing has been going on and pretended to be ecstatic whenever we did activities. Like when we were doing arts and crafts and I said the reason my bracelet was going to be blue was that I was sad and the camp leader for that day just said 'don't be sad! This is Camp Crescent Moon where we make your dreams come true!' which was just the motto for Camp Crescent Moon.

And let me tell you, that ticked me off. So much so I may have pushed her and knocked her over. And maybe begged to be brought home... while sobbing.

Instead of letting a distressed child call their parents or giving them a self-confidence boost, I HAD TO SIT IN A CLOSET FOR TWO HOURS!!

It was dark, it smelled like chemicals and when I had to go pee they said to hold it! I'm sorry if my emotions have spilled over, but, in my defense, I was only ten-years-old.

Anyhow, it was noon. Time to write letters to home. This is what I wrote.

Dear mom and dad,

Please send me home. I hate it here. They made me stay in a closet for a long time. Also, two kids went missing. I'm scared. I think I'm next. Tell them to send me back home.

Please and love,

Amanda Hatfield

Thankfully the camp leaders didn't check the letter before collecting them. I thought then all my worries would wash away and I could go home and bury my face in pillows pretending like it was a perfect dream.

Well, that ended quickly. That night I was feeling homesick so I walked a lap around the cabin, stupidly without someone. And that's when I saw it, the horrible thing. Shining in the white light behind the cabin making fun of my fears. A thing so simple turned to a murderous object.

It was a barbie toothbrush.Covered in blood. And on the handle, written in black sharpie, was the name:

J-P. Sutton

All that came out of me was a gasp followed by my scream. It wasn't time for bed yet so our camp leader was just hanging around with us. Well, he rushed over. I heard him stop suddenly before grabbing my shoulders and say something into his walkie-talkie. But I didn't know what he said, every sound and sight was muffled and blurry. Blurry from my tears.

Soon I found myself in an office eating a cheaply made cookie and drinking water that tasted weird. Around me, all the camp leaders were shouting and having arguments. They mention 'the kids' and 'trouble' a lot. I knew they meant us, but what I didn't understand was why thought they were going to be in trouble.

I did find out years later though. Tore me to pieces. But that's not important right now. What is important is when the camp leaders finally noticed me sitting in the corner of the room. One of them sighed deeply and sat next to me in front of a desk. He typed something out and grabbed a wired phone on the desk and typed in some numbers. The camp leader started to talk into the phone, before giving it to me.

It was my mom. I think she was crying, she asked a million questions none of which I remember. I do remember crying too that I wanted to go home. Mom promised me she would try her best to get me out of as soon as possible. I wished she kept that promise.

More tears later it's probably midnight and I'm sobbing under the covers. I'm not sure when I fell asleep. I just remember my face being all wet and noticing the smell of pinewood all sound me. Oh and of course the sound of students gasping over the fact that another kid disappeared.

Seven left. Strange how we were the only group with missing kids. A camp full of children and it just happened to be my group that was chosen for whatever god knows what. I just wish I knew why. That's all. A tiny wish. I'll regret wishing that though. Because now I wish I could erase my memories and pretend as nothing happened.