Chapter 50 Sibling Love

After the dinner, Guozhao Zhiqiang and Deming accompanied Li Bingqing to her uncle's shop. Walking alone on the bustling street behind Deming and Li Bingqing, Guozhao Zhiqiang did not get too close to Deming and Li Bingqing. He knew that it was in Deming and his best interest to let Deming and his friends have privacy.

After learning that Deming's heart was never estranged from him, Guozhao Zhiqiang vowed never to leave Deming. He doesn't question where Deming's heart is, so the first step he needs to do to show Deming that he trusts Deming completely is to give Deming his own space. He continued to slowly walk behind Deming and Li Bingqing.

Even when walking side by side with Li Bingqing, looking at one street vendor to the next, Deming would look at Guozhao Zhiqiang from time to time. He knew very well in his heart that Guozhao Zhiqiang was the kind of person who would not usually express his true feelings. He was afraid that if he pay too much attention to Li Bingqing, and Guozhao Zhiqiang would suddenly disappear like last time. In order to ensure that his heart belongs to Guozhao Zhiqiang, he always has Guozhao Zhiqiang in his heart, he will look at Guozhao Zhiqiang and give Guozhao Zhiqiang a smile from time to time. Every time when he smiled at Guozhao Zhiqiang, Guozhao Zhiqiang also smiled at him.

Li Bingqing saw Deming's gaze on Guozhao Zhiqiang, and she already knew in her heart that what she did or could've do would not change Deming's feelings for Guozhao Zhiqiang. She still didn't understand why Deming would say she was special to him, when his heart belongs to someone else. She knew that before night fell, she had to make her feelings clear to him. It was the only way to know for sure whether Deming had feelings for her. Her hopes are not high, but she will not give up.

Li Bingqing looked at Guozhao Zhiqiang, who was not far from Deming and her. She looked at Deming and said, "Enlai, you can ask him to come closer to us. I don't mind."

Deming looked at Guozhao Zhiqiang and gave him a smiled. Guozhao Zhiqiang smiled back at Deming. Deming looked at Li Bingqing and said, "Let him be. He is that kind of person who like to keep everything to himself."

Li Bingqing said, "You must know him very well."

Deming said, "I believe he just want to give me my own space when I'm with you."

Li Bingqing, "He doesn't mind?"

Deming said, "He doesn't mind. He was going to let me take you home by myself, but I insisted that he is coming with me." He sighed. "Bingqing, many years ago, he mistakenly thought I was someone else and stabbed me in the chest with an icicle. Moreover, he felt that my death was his fault, so he kept blaming himself."

Li Bingqing, "Is it his fault?"

Deming said, "No. It's my fault. I didn't listen to him and wandered outside the camp's confines, creating opportunities for my attackers to attack me."

Li Bingqing said, "Enlai, you are doing what he is doing now. You blame yourself, and he blames himself. If the two of you don't clarify this matter, then both of you will never be able to get rid of this self-inflicted blame on your heart and mind."

Deming looked at Li Bingqing and smiled, "Bingqing, thank you for your advice, I will talk to him tonight."

Li Bingqing said, "Sometimes, outsiders who stood outside of the inner circle can see better than those inside of the inner circle."

Deming said, "You're right. I used to think that people like me would never see the light of day, but here I am, embracing every sunrise and every sunset." He smiled. "I also think that no one will love me outside of the dark dungeon, but I was wrong. I have you who love me. I have Weici who loves me, and Zhiqiang who loves me." He looked at Guozhao Zhiqiang and smiled at Guozhao Zhiqiang. "Bingqing, I want to stay here with him. I want to forget the past and choose to release the shackles of hatred that bind my hands and feet. I will not be returning to Haven Mountain with you. Life is short, so I want to spend it wisely with Zhiqiang here." He took a deep breath. "When Zhiqiang and I first met, he promised me to take me out of that dark place and live quietly in the city in the clouds, which has always been my dream. Since I'm here now, I won't give it up for anything or anyone." Be bit his lowered lip. "I hope you understand."

Li Bingqing smiled and said, "I understand."

When approaching Li Bingqing's uncle's clothing store, Guozhao Zhiqiang stopped. Guozhao Zhiqiang said, "I'll wait for you here."

Deming and Li Bingqing stopped in front of the clothing store. Deming said, "Good night." He turns around and began walking towards Guozhao Zhiqiang.

Li Bingqing stretched out her right hand and grabbed Deming's left arm. She said, "Wait."

Deming asked, "What's wrong?"

Li Bingqing looked at Deming and said, "I want to ask you, how do you feel about me during the three years we have been together?"

Deming looked at Li Bingqing and said softly, "What I feel about you is the love between brothers and sisters, not the love between lovers."

Li Bingqing asked, "Apart from the love between siblings, don't you have any feelings for me?"

Deming looked at Guozhao Zhiqiang and said with a smiled, "No." He looked back at Li Bingqing. "When I saw how sister Xiao Mei caring for juniors, I really wish there was a sister who cared about me. When I opened my eyes, you were in front of me. Your caring reminds me of sister Xiao Mei and Weici."

Li Bingqing, "That means you only like men?"

Deming chuckled, "I like men and women, but I only love Zhiqiang."

Li Bingqing sighed, "So you said I was special to you, you meant as brothers and sisters, right?"

Deming, "Yes."

Li Bingqing sighed, she understood. She smiled at Deming, "Having a brother is better than having no brother."

Deming could see the tears in her eyes. He also saw Li Bingqing's struggle to hold back her tears. He said sadly, "I'm sorry. I can't accept you more than that."

Li Bingqing, "I think I should have asked you directly, and part of it was my fault." She smiled at him. "Good night, thank you for taking me home." She turned around, tears starting to fall from her eyes. She didn't want Deming to see her tears, so she hurried into the store.

Deming slowly walked to Guozhao Zhiqiang. Guozhao Zhiqiang smiled at Deming and said, "Did you get to say what you want to say to her?"

Deming nodded his head, "Yes, and it feels much better."

Guozhao Zhiqiang said, "That's good. Do you want to go back to the school or stay here for a while?"

Deming said, "Back to the school."

Guozhao Zhiqiang and Deming walked back slowly to the bustling streets crowded with people in the evening.