Mate

"My Black beast is indiscriminate. It devours anything and everything."- Queen.

I stared at the leaves falling from the blossom trees.

It was quite breathtaking.

First a green leaf, then shortly afterwards a yellow leaf stained with bits of orange and green.

They hit the ground lightly, making no sound effects.

I could stay here perched against the fortress' back wall all day, observing the utmost gorgeous pattern of the leaves dying off of the trees.

Autumn has always been breathtaking.

An artificial gust of wind propelled more leaves into the sky and my eyes followed the source.

I watched the puffs of his breath as they rose and dissipated, joining the wind as he tried to keep up with his teacher.

Lettie moved fluidly and soundless, not taking any hits from the young lycan, Instead demonstrating to him the arts of Finesse.

One moment he was rushing forward again, eyes on the prize and face showing his boyish exuberance. The next, she's behind him elbowing him in the back and holding his left foot in a vice grip before she releases him as he hits the dirt sending another gust of leaves skyward.

He tried to get up and counter-attack but the command in her voice stops him.

"That's enough Vince,"

Her young cousin simply nodded his head, bowed to her slightly and left the field of leaves, that kept swirling in his wake as if bidding his form goodbye.

"He'll be an asset one day." She said, wiping the sweat from her forehead with her hands.

"I think so too," Grabbing a towel from one of the benches, I toss it at her.

She caught it effortlessly, eyeing me as she wiped herself.

"When are you leaving?"

She sat on the bench beside me with all the grace of a sack of wet sand. Hands crossed behind her head as her form almost sinks into that of the bench.

I grinned at her funny position and plopped down beside her.

"I was actually headed out this way."

"Isn't Angel driving you back?" She asked, head tilted backwards admiring the blue sky.

"No, I'm running,"

She turned to me, brows raised. "Oh?"

I shrugged as casually as I could, standing and stretching in preparation. "Just wanted a clear head before I get back to the pack."

"It's your first mate ceremony, you're justified if you're a little nervous." She teased.

Little nervous wasn't the term I'd use, more like terrified and anxious at the same time.

I had a feeling my time at the Southern pack was at an end and this mate ceremony might very well be my first and last.

As if sensing my thoughts, Lettie rolled her eyes dramatically.

"Well, you should at least know that no matter what happens you'll always have a place here by my side."

Lettie had offered me a post as her special adviser, It would grant me an official place amongst the lycan nobles. I would hold a rank and have the protection of the second princess.

I could start a whole new life here instead of enduring the isolation from my pack.

But it's not my path and it wasn't the life i wanted

I smiled, turning and putting my hands on my friend's shoulders, a gesture that lets her know I acknowledge what she said.

Lettie knew how important finding my mate was to me.

I've dreamed of the almost insane, spine curling, fur rippling connection between mates. Its given lives back to wolves who've held no hope.

If it wasn't for lettie, I'd have none.

When my pack nearly drowned me in the pits of my own despair, because I was born different...wrong. It was she who dragged me out and forced life back into me that day in the woods.

She taught me how to defend myself.

The mistreatment slowly stopped and I was left with isolation, because they could smell the lycan on me.

She made me take charge of my life, but I knew I couldn't tuck tail and depend on her forever.

That's what mates were for.

Your other half.

I started to turn towards the direction of my pack from the woods, when she grabbed my arm.

Naked concern, and love stared back at me from those piercing baby blues.

I placed my forehead on hers giving her my best reassuring smile before bolting into the woods.

I liked to pick up speed in my human form before slinking down to my fur. It always held a certain appeal of anticipation for me.

I could hear my paws as they kissed the wet autumn leaves as I blurred past tree after tree.

This was one of the reasons I loved autumn. Far enough from summer to have lost the heat and not close enough to winter to have that bite of cold.

Each breath of the fresh air fills me with a sense of life that almost makes me want to shout my anxieties out loud, just to hear my voice echo amidst the trees - like a brave warrior of old.

But I can't complain being born in this time. Wolves of old, born with defects like mine do not live to see their juvenile years.

Their throats are slit once the defect is noticed to avoid too much attachment. My mother died during childbirth so the responsibility fell to my father who was the beta of the pack then.

He slit his own throat in my stead with a promise from the Alpha that I would live if he did so.

He kept his promise to an extent.

The Alpha is officially my guardian in name only. I've seen cruel things at his hands, but I took solace in the fact that my mate would rescue me one day and we would eventually travel the world together.

I have several places I've been dying to visit.

The human territories would be our first stop. I do a light skip as I think of all the pleasures and grandeur that await me there.

I had a whole scrapbook dedicated to these dreams.

I was never really one to dream big. There was a time all I wanted was a healthy hot meal, and balm for the wounds inflicted on me. Even when I met lettie, I refused to allow myself to dream or even imagine something better.

Till that day.

I had decided to spend the evening and eat at the fortress, as Lana, the pack cook wasn't allowed to give me meals anymore. Even the left over ones.

I remember the vibrant red hair tucked almost neatly into a brown cap except for a few wistful locks.

The coat that reminded me of an old man, sneaking to get a drink at night, hugged a form that was undeniably a woman. A young one.

She sat on the short cliff that led to a water fall a good distance away from lycan and the Southern territory. Somewhere in between.

I still don't know why but I found myself walking over and taking a sit beside her as I mirrored her movements and swung my thin legs to the wind with reckless abandon.

We sat in silence, watching the evening sun sink behind the ridge near the fortress, dyeing the grand duchy red.

The sight made my chest tighten. And then she spoke, startling me.

"This world is quite astonishing, when you claw your way out of the mire of dysfunction, unfairness and abuse. When you first peek over the horizon and see nature without the haze of discontent." Her eyes glossed over as if in a world of her own.

"Without any filter, with the naked eye and the brain open to the beauty of this reality, amazement comes. It is the amazement of a baby when they first meet a parent in fur form, or see a leaf move in the wind. And when you see those simple things, when you can fall in love with the small, everything gets so much better. The larger things become almost overwhelming, the sense of love so much stronger. It is then you realize that before you have lived a half-life, greyed and without the warmth each person is born with."

She looked at me now, no doubt with curiousness at my different eyes as her words kept replaying in my head.

Her eyes, well for a lack of a better word, were grey; you could use that one word description but you wouldn't do her justice.

I was struck by their coldness, like a stab of ice. Every detail in her iris so clear, so concise. But as I looked closer I realized they weren't grey, they were almost silver. Silver like the wolf that cried to the moon, a dull silver like an animal who has seen too much.

The tears fell without warning at the incredibly sad picture in front of me.

I closed my eyes to try and stop the tears. Feeling awkward and surprised at my own reaction.

"You're going to be just fine."

I opened my eyes, at the sound of the windy voice and she was gone. Almost like she was something I conjured up from my imagination.

In that moment I believed she was sent by the moon Goddess to persuade me to live for all the wolves who were killed before they even had a chance.

The chance I was given

I cringed inwardly

I had changed into the the most cliched wolf in wolf history.

What can I say? I was young and it stuck with me.

As I neared my side of the pack house, I could already see the outline of the pack house. Cars were already lined and parked.

A pack must be early and staying the night.

It was unusual but not unheard of so I dismiss the thought

I only changed back to human form when I came in contact with the tree that led directly to my bedroom window.

Climbing it had always been easy.

I jumped and landed right in the middle of my bedroom before I registered the change in atmosphere.

Goosebumps lined my skin as I jump back and got into a defensive stance.

Blue eyes shone in an almost dark room as they fixed me with an Irritated look.