Prologue

Right now I'm in my room killing my pillow with a blow of punches and then pacing forward-backward sideward and whatever, I'm like someone who just escape from a mental institution. I was so confused that I might go crazy right now because I don't understand, why did he do that? My heart wants to jump out of my chest cause the beating is so wild that it can't stop.

THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT NATHAN! I know I might sound abnormal because the thing happened last week, and we didn't even talk about it, I mean he didn't even explain 'of course andra how can he explain if you keep avoiding him like duh' OMG! Ok my mind is arguing with me and I think my heart will talk soon after ughhhh! THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING!

but the most nerve-wracking and frustrating part is River, questions that bothered me like

do I have to deal with him or let him be

do I pay for the damages I've done

Will my life will become any more complicated than ever?

Sooner or later I will have to face this and might as well face it now.

It's now or later, because the answer will never be "never"