12. Keya

After I got back from the diner and head straight to my two p.m. class, I thought about the encounter I had with Hollis on the diner earlier this morning. Honestly, I was overjoyed when he was there beside me as I vomited on the nearest trash bin because I thought he was in there to go see me and properly talk about his responsibility with the baby, however, he said straight to me that he wasn’t.

He doesn’t give any single shit on the baby, on his baby!

The way he reacts to this situation, it makes me to finally convince myself to take the procedure. I mean, it’s actually better to do it right? If I’ll abort the baby then my life will still be on its usual state. I’ll get my degree on time, head back to Southshields, get the job that I want, study graduate school and enjoy the rest of my life.

I honestly don’t know what to do! I badly want to tell my mom right now for a goddamn advice but I still don’t want to see the disappointment on her face. I swallow through my suddenly dry mouth as I settle on the seat waiting for my instructor to arrive, still contemplating about the life I have at the moment.

If I keep the baby, I don’t know if I can do it. For fuck’s sake! I’m still twenty-two and I am definitely not good with kids, if I may just add. Of course, I want a family someday. I want kids, I want a husband, I want a complete happy big family someday, but not now!

Not today. Not eight months from now. And definitely not a single mom!

I don’t want my future kids to suffer the loneliness on being an incomplete family like I have. If I’ll keep this baby, I don’t think I can give that to him.

Christ!

-

When five p.m. strikes, I already felt way too exhausted.

For the first time since the semester started, I left the campus drained enough plus with a throbbing headache. I am not supposed to work on the diner today but I forced myself to do it because I don't have any classes during the morning and I bloody need some extra money. I’ve been craving way too many foods these days and my budget isn’t enough anymore to cover my expenses on food. My gut hates the food available in the Fenway Hall where I usually eat, but ever since I got pregnant I started hating it and chose to go grab some takeaway on the nearest fast-food chains outside the campus.

Despite of the complete exhaustion and the headache I felt. I still chose to go to the nearest grocer’s store to buy groceries and some gummy worms and ketchup chips. Among all food on the food triangle I don’t know why I crave for those things.

When I arrived at the store I immediately started browsing through the shelves, I pulled a huge bag of gummy worms and decided to eat it while I shop around. When I reached the frozen section, I suddenly saw a very familiar figure.

Urgh! Among all the places why do I have to see him here? Why do I have to see him twice today?

It’s bloody Hollis!

I immediately turned my back around right before he sees me, I don’t want to hear another insults and hurtful statements from him. I already got disappointed once today and I don’t want him to add another burden on my chest because it actually really hurts to see how he doesn’t give a fuck on me and the baby.

However in my great dismay, I was already too late. The asshole saw me!

“Hey, Keya!” He called out but I just ignored him. I continue from walking into the opposite direction, however, he was fast and decided to block my way. “Are you seriously going to ignore me now?”

I looked on him raising my eyebrows. I seriously hate him for insulting me all the time but I don’t know why part of me feels so happy that I get to see his beautiful face again. He’s currently wearing a black jumper paired with a grey sweatpants and an inverted black baseball hat. He’s probably not on his best look at the moment but he still looks way too gorgeous for a man.

Peace in hell!

I don’t know why I suddenly felt the urge of hugging him despite of the fact that I hate him for again, insulting me.

Jesus, baby if you’re the reason behind this, please stop. You’re not helping your mama out here!

“What do you want now Hollis?” I firmly said maintaining my cool and pretended that his present doesn’t affect me.

“Keya, right?” Great! He’s not even sure if he remembers my name right. “I’m just asking if you’re still following me.”

I literally drop my jaw. Seriously, this guy is unbelievable. What a huge asshole!

“Oh, is following you means going on the opposite way when seeing you?” I remarked. “You’re not so full of yourself, aren’t you Hollis?”

“Right. I'm just going to be straight. I want to tell you that before you decide to get rid of the baby, I want a paternity test first.”

“And again, why do you care? You’re not interested with the baby anyway. Now get out of my face.” I said and pushed the cart fully intending to hit him but he stopped it using his one hand.

“I didn’t said that!” He hissed. “I seriously want a paternity test.”

“No need.” I replied and continue from walking. Is he serious right now?

“So you finally admit that that child isn’t mine?”

He had done it again.

“After insulting me? Even if you’re the true father of this baby, I will never ask for your help again. And what? After you have proven that this baby isn’t yours then that’s the right time I’ll get rid of it? You’re not so selfish, aren’t you Hollis?”

He is so annoying! Damn it. Why do I have to fall for those green eyes and those gorgeous face?

I walked past him heading to the cashier’s area. He have already touched the unchartered territory of my patience. Seriously, that’s it! Whatever my decisions may be, he’s not part of it. If I decide to keep the baby, I’ll just probably think about what my mom did who raised me and my brother without asking for our father’s help and she did that through only working at a bakery. If she can do it, so will I!

I walked away from him and never looked back. I’m not interested on dealing with that stupid selfish asshole anymore. I know I am being stupid for brushing the father of this baby away but all what he’s doing right now is completely selfish. I’m done with him! I can’t deal with him anymore.

As I head straight to the cashiers to check the grocery items out, I suddenly felt pain on my belly. I hold unto the nearest shelves because I suddenly felt like I am about to fell. The pain on my belly causes me to feel dizzy and weak.

“Jesus! Keya you’re bleeding!” Hollis hissed running towards me and just after he said those words I looked on my blue jeans and I immediately spotted a blood in there.

I panicked right away. “No, no. Not my baby no!”

Hollis immediately catch me holding me into his arms. “Hollis! Oh my God. Not my baby!”

I’m hysterical right now trying myself not to pass out, I don’t want to pass out! I don’t want to pass out if it means me losing the baby.

“Please, not my baby!”

And that’s the only words I have said right before everything went black.