I force myself to fall onto the floor. I screech at the impact. Tris was kind enough to leave me advance medicine to heal my wounds quickly. I shimmy my way over to the bag. Pain spikes every inch of my body.
When I reach the bag, I rested for a really long time before attempting to try to sit up. It took me about a couple of times before I could fully sit up on my own. I carefully spray my wounds with the medicine healer.
I hear voices from the hallways. My guess, Braydon's here. That's Tris trying to stop him from coming in and seeing me injured. One look at me and he'll know exactly what happened. It's probably really confusing since both of them don't want either to see what's in the room.
I quickly spray my wounds. I dig my nail into a bruise until tears fall from my eyes. I spray the bruise and I leave the cut on my face.
"Tris get off of me. And go back to everyone." A few seconds later. "Tris! Wait!"
Tris runs in here. She fakes a shocked face at seeing me and the room. It's still filled with rose pedals.
"I didn't mean for you to see... Zeria?" He looks closely at me. "Oh my god, what happened?"
He rushes to my side and looks at my head wound. Behind him, I could see Tris giving me the death stare. I could ruin her chances with him so badly, but I couldn't. I promised. And I'm not all of a sudden going to break my promises even if they were forced.
"I tripped and cut open my head when sneaking into here. I wanted to hide from Elizabeth and Kahlen because they wouldn't tell me whether or not if they were together. I felt betrayed so I went somewhere they couldn't."
Not a complete lie, just a stretch from the truth. I looked down not meeting his gaze. He knows me too well. If he takes one look into my eyes, he'll know I'm lying. I just played the shame card and he took it.
"I'll take you to the emergency room to get you cleaned up. Tris, can you clean my room? It looks weird now that I look at it."
I stared at the floor.
"Yeah sure, I'll clean up the... rose pedals." I can hear her voice crack.
Braydon's arms came under me and cradled me up. He carried me all the way to the emergency room. He didn't say a word. His silence kills me but I guess I have to get used to it.
When we entered, the medic, Kevin, wasn't even in the room. Braydon put me down on the bed next to the entrance. He turned away to go over to the cabinet. The cabinet door opened, the shuffling around products was heard and the door clicked shut. Braydon made his way back to me.
I wanted to ask him about his trip but I felt Tris wouldn't like me talking to him so I kept my mouth shut. His fingers came underneath my chin to tilt my head up. My eyes looked behind him, refusing to meet his gaze.
His hand covered my eyes so the medicine wouldn't spay them. I could feel my skin stitch together when he sprayed my wound.
"Mind telling me what really happened?" He asked in almost a whisper. He forces me to look into his eyes. "And don't lie to me." His voice, stone cold.
I took a deep breath fully intent on telling him everything, but I just couldn't. If it were reversed, I'd want Tris to leave Braydon alone too. I'd beat her to a pulp if I could. Today proved that I can't.
My voice cracks. "I can't."
He slams the bed. It doesn't even scare me. Tris does though. "Damn it Zeria! Tell me what happened. Tris did something to you, didn't she?"
I shrugged, "She's done a lot of things, you gotta be a little more specific."
He rests his head on my knees. I stiffen at the gesture. This has never happened before. His sea-green eyes stare up at me, pleading with me to tell him.
"Tell me, please. I'll make sure she'll never touch you again. Just tell me so I can stop her from ever hurting you again."
I swallow my tears and pride. "What makes you think she hurt me?"
He looks down at my hands. His hands shake incredibly when he reaches out for mine. I draw my hands back pretending I'm revolted by his intention. He looks startled at the action but I held back the wanting to make things right. His hands shot to his side.
He clears his throat. "Fine, don't tell me." I see my own eyes in his when he looked at me. The feeling of betrayal lingers through them.
I look away to try to stop the tears from falling. I'm sorry Braydon, but this is a battle I have to fight for myself. I'm sorry I lost.
He nods and leaves me in the room all alone. I weep quietly hoping no one can hear me. After about twenty minutes of crying, I finally managed to stop. I decide to head to the bathhouse to clean myself. A nice bath should temporarily make me feel better.
I check the mirror before leaving the emergency room. My eyes are puffy, my face is redder than a tomato and tears stain my chubby cheeks. I grab a hand towel to wipe away the tears and fake smile to get rid of the redness. Acting like your happy is easier than explaining why you were crying for twenty minutes.
Before I go to the bathhouse, I went back into my room. It's a fucking mess. Still though, black suits me better. I threw my clothes into the hallway and left them there. I'll bag them later. I gather my bath supplies, a towel, and another black outfit.
Since all my clothes are gone, I need a new wardrobe. What am I going to do? All this thinking makes my brain hurt. I feel so drained. I need a nap.
A knock on the door startles me out of my thoughts of taking a nap. I turn to see Elizabeth standing there looking out of her element, she's uncertain. For my entire life, Elizabeth has always looked certain. She's known what's right and what's wrong. That's why she never makes a mistake. Another reason why we're so different.
It's also in her nature to forgive those who harm her or try to make amends with them. Clearly, I could never be able to do this. She's perfect and I'm a screwup. I let my anger and hatred get the best of me.
I have to change. Which is why I'm going to be the first one to make my amends. "I'm sorry," I whisper barely hearing it myself. I clear my throat and take a deep breath. "I was wrong."
She smiles at me. That glimmer of happiness shines in her ocean blue eyes once again. "Thank you, but I came to apologize for not telling you sooner."
"Why didn't you?" I know I shouldn't question her but I have to. I need to know.
She sighs and looks away to the floor. I could see that she's choosing her words carefully. "You were so busy with Braydon and fighting with Tris all of the time, that I thought telling you about my feelings towards Kahlen a bit, unimportant."
I open my mouth to argue but she raised her hand to silence me. She made her way to the bed to sit next to me. "I know you think that it's important but you're so busy trying to be the next leader that my personal problems seem minuscule to your problems. I just didn't want to get in the way."
She pauses to continue her debate. "Another reason is that I never felt this way for anyone before. I wanted to tell you since your so in love with Braydon," I force myself not to flinch at his name. "That maybe you could tell me what it was, love of friendship or more than that. But I just never got the chance to. Plus I didn't know if it was reciprocal. And even if it was, I don't know what to do, I'm ten, he's twelve. We have a whole life before us."
She grabs my hand and places it in her lap. She stares into my eyes, "Zeria, I really like him. I don't know how to tell him so. He makes me laugh and he's so kind towards me. Do you think he likes me back?"
I stare at her in shock. She really doesn't see that he looks at her the same way she does. That's why he was so defensive. He doesn't know either and didn't want to spoil it. I feel stupid. I soften and smile at her question. "No fucking doubt about it."
Her face sours at my language. "Must you ruin our make up session with such vulgar language?"
"It's the only way to make it true." I smile.
Her eyes light up with sparkles. "Really?"
I sigh, "If you keep asking me unsure questions, we'll be here all day. To make it certain, go ask him. He's the only person who will quench your uncertainty."
For the first time, I could see Elizabeth for who she really is. A girl who is uncertain. She was never certain. She always looked for someone to tell her things and make it certain. If only I had that undying obedience that she has. Maybe I could have stopped myself from feeling such pain that I have felt. I would be sitting here happy like she is.
"Well go on. Go make it certain." I sho her away.
She pulls me in to kiss my cheek. "Thank you." With that, she runs off to secure her undying love.
I sit in the room feeling lonelier than ever before. Soon she'll be saving all of her time and spending it with him. I'll be there but not really be there. I sigh. Good things truly never last that long.
My heart isn't set on taking a bath or a nap. I have to speak to my father. I need to get out of this close-quarter space, it's killing me slowly. I quickly change into a pair of jeans and a hoodie.
I ran through the hallways wondering where my father is right now. He can't be far enough to be at his office but not close enough to be at the entrance, it's not supper. So... he must be at the small library. It's one of the few places he likes to go after a hunt.
When I arrived at the entrance to the library, I overheard my father speaking to someone there. Knowing it's confidential, I creep up close to the door to overhear them.
"Atticus, we have to go, it's the only way to keep everyone safe. If we take on their base, we could take control of this region."
That's James, Father's second. Personally, I don't like him. Something's off with him and I could sense he's planning to overthrow my father. But every time I mention my instincts to my Father, he brushes it off like it's nothing. Because I'm ten, he thinks I imagine the worst in people and leave it to my imagination to come up with crazy, unreal things.
But I can read people. Mostly. But definitely when it comes to him. Something lurks behind those menacing eyes. I just have to figure it out before someone gets hurt.
I could hear Father sigh. "James, I've told you a thousand times, the moment we storm is the moment the other Humanoids find us and wipe out our survivors. It's too bold to come out alive."
I peek through the slightly open door. I could see father wipe his face at the stress of James. James paces in the room clearly having a tantrum at Father saying no.
"But it's the perfect plan. We could set up traps and be ready for them. We could destroy the Humanoids for good."
Father gives James his serious face. "How many soldiers are you willing to risk? There are a few here. Survivors are scarce. No one wants to fight a battle guaranteed to lose. My answer is no. That Humanoid base may have few visible guards standing out but you, or anyone for that matter, have no idea of how may lurk on the inside. It's a suicide mission."
James knocks the lamp sitting on the table to the floor. I flinch at the noise and didn't see James storming out this way. I stumbled backward when he opens the door to exit the library. When he saw me, he gave me the pleasure of seeing his dirtiest look.
I scowled as he walked away. Asshole. I stood up and dusted off the dirt and made my way into the room where my father stood. When he saw me, he gently smiled a loving one that's happy to see me.
Suddenly, my heart begins to pump blood to my body faster than normal. I swallowed, afraid to ask my question. My palms start to sweat. Why is this so scary to ask? He's my father, this shouldn't be too hard. He never says no to me.
I gulp, "Father, I was wondering if maybe we could go do something together?"
I chickened out. I can't ask him to take me out. He's too stressed and this bonding session could be healthy for us. And easier to ask later. After our time spend together, I'll ask him to take me to see the outside world. For now, indoors is fine.