EASTER FEAST

I was the missing piece of the puzzle. Without me, this puzzle will not become whole; it will not become whole, even if I am.

So, why does a sense of fear that has taken its place in my soul protect itself, in my helpless body? I know that this deep-rooted mischievous pencil was going to use me to get what it wanted...

My eyes were a bowl of blood, like they were coming out of their sockets.. I was too scared to close my eyelids and I was impressed. I could not understand how the concept of time was progressing.

Seconds had succumbed to minutes during that time. Immediately after that, the minutes surrendered to the hours. I've been sitting in my room for about an hour on cold laminate flooring dominated by shades of coffee. My timid body, facing cold, trembled like a parkinson's patient. As if the objects around me had lost their meaning, they only dominated the shadow image. But I had to pull myself together and realize that no one could help me but myself to get out of this situation.

I had to examine the pencil in my hand one more time.

It had a very different appearance than a normal pencil. It looked like a snake.

Written in black reflective letters: "The past chases the future. The future hides from the past. The past captures the future. Midwife, you're the midwife." When I saw the article, I felt like I had squeezed my head between beehives.

"Is someone playing games with me?"

I do not know how many times I asked that question, but my logic was unanswered like a mute baby. My head would not take it. I just wanted it all to be a dream.

The fears that spread in my body to make a nest for itself had already taken hold of me. I frowned, oblivious to the pain of the wound on my hand.

I was not happy with the position I was in right now. My heart was still beating strangely fast.

At that moment, I felt my inner voice become calm and lifeless; then it took the appearance of wrinkled paper.

I haven't seen. I knew it, but I could feel myself sinking into the swamp. The unpleasant smell of blood was circulating in my lungs; my eyes were directed at my palm. Drops of blood dripping down from my palm on the laminate floor helplessly. Suddenly, when the door of the room opened, I jumped from where I was.

At that time, a high-pitched scream broke out in my throat. I was stunned when my eyes slipped on Cara, who was standing in front of my room door, staring at me.

"What are you shouting, little bird?"she asked, in a sharp tone of voice.

Then she went in and closed the door. As I jumped, this strange pencil disappeared under the influence of my jump.

Giving up looking at Cara, I dragged my body under the bed, lying on my mouth. My eyes were looking for this naughty pencil. I know, my fear would be in my favor. Cara, who came to me at the double, got down on her knees, bowed her head and tried to understand what I was trying to do. She put his hand on my shoulder and made me turn towards her.

We caught each other's eyes: "Is everything okay, Misha? What are you doing under the bed?" she sounded nervous.

And damn it, I felt so stupid.

I was no better than a predator lurking to dismember its prey. This mischievous pencil, who wrote my thoughts and drew on what it wrote, managed to escape from me.

Neither she got her eyes from me, nor did I

"I dropped my pencil, Cara. I was looking for it."

"Take my hand, Misha, we have to talk."

She held out her hand. Just after she pulled me out of the bed, pulling me out of the place where I was lying, at great speed, we begun to walk in a sudden movement. I stared at her for a moment. Her expressionless face looked more tired than ever.

"What do you think, Misha?" she asked me.

Her tone seemed frozen in the cold. "Nothing, Cara."I shrugged.

We sat on the bed together .

She put her smooth, soft hands through my sweaty hair. She frowned her curved eyebrows in coffee tones and gulped, slowly raising her head up.

Her sharp jaw was smoother than most women in their fifties. Her flawless nose looked absolutely beautiful with long lashes.

After about a minute of silence, Cara broke the locked door of that silence before me..

"Tomorrow is Easter. I have to do preparation tonight. You want to help me, little bird?"

"Of course I can help, Cara. What were you going to tell me?"

When I focused on the silence in her eyes, I was sure Cara was hiding something from me, and it was not Easter that she really wanted to say.

Not long, a minute later, my room door suddenly opened. Incoming was my father.

"Oh, welcome, Mr. Hannan. You're back early."

Cara's voice sounded cowardly, like she was trapped in pitch-dark. There was something hidden from me.

I could not silence the chatty doubts in my mind. What happened, made me crazy. My suspicions were intended to set me up in this game.

I knew I had no choice; I was going to play 'I'm fine'.

But on the contrary, I was bad. I was a candle that melted, burning as it burned, melting as it waited... What was I in the middle of?

He was standing outside the door with shopping bags in his hand. A jumbled expression appeared on his face: Curious? Worried? Thoughtful? I didn't know its name, but I was familiar with the phrase through my recent experiences.

I suddenly stood up and approached my father. I jumped into your lap like a frog. My face was stuck just below his stiff chest as my body slammed into his body. As his left hand landed at my waist, the bags in his right hand fell to the floor.

"Did my little clumsy miss his father so much?"he whispered, in that tone of voice flowing in immense depths.

"I miss this old man so much," I said, with a kiss as perfect as a breath of new life, without lowering me from his lap, walking my hand through face lines that smell of experience.

As I came down from his lap, he bent down and lifted the shopping bags that had fallen from his hand to the floor. "These are yours, Misha. You can wear it for Easter tomorrow."

Immediately after that, he went to Cara and said, "Lady Cara, these are yours."

Cara was staring at me quietly, and she said quietly, "Thank you, sir."

"What?" I was going to ask that, he suddenly approached me with fussy steps;

"We need to change the dressing. Your hand is bleeding, Misha."

My father approached me at the same time as Cara:

"Oh Misha! I told you to change it before I leaving the house, Miss Cara."

"I'm sorry, sir. I completely forgot."He turned his angry look at me. The pale sun seeping through the window made me involuntarily squint my eyes.

"Let's go down, Daddy." when I asked, he turned his eyes to the ceiling. He gave me angry looks .

"Yeah, we'd better get off."He sounded angry.

We went down to the winter garden.

A few minutes after I had done my dressing, my father went to the study.

I walked to the window with waddling steps. It was raining today.

Impatient rain accompanied the river Douro. They knew about Easter.

The city's main entrances and streets had all the shades of colorful lighting, as well as peace.

I put my head against the window. I put my arms around my chest. I could see hectic, excited people in the narrow streets. Because of tomorrow's Easter, people were in a sweet rush.

A familiar sadness licked my heart. My inner voice would not stop gnawing at me. After I puffed up my cheeks, I remembered what I was like this morning.

Besides, I was in a swamp I did not know about.

Smells rising from the kitchen poked my brain.

Cara's hectic preparations were continuing.

I made a top bun with my hair falling in front of my eyes and took quick steps to Cara's side, into the kitchen.

He had begun general preparations for Easter. As I walked down the long corridor to the kitchen, Cara was in a conflict with the pots, as usual.

I turned the handle on the kitchen door, opened the door, and went inside. He didn't realize I was coming in because his back was facing me.

"Cara, is there anything I can help you with?" She turned in a sudden movement and paused for a moment;" Oh, of course, come, my little bird."

I approached the table and pulled out the chair and sat down. The unruly smells rising from the Easter bun that stood on the table wandered at a sudden speed in my lungs, and immediately after that, Cara approached the table with a pot of boiled eggs.

"Ah! I'm exhausted. My little bird, can we paint the boiled eggs together?"She looked straight into my eyes .

"Of course, yes, Cara."

Standing at the table, she brought closer to me the colorful dyes and boiled eggs that dominated the different shades of the rainbow.

"Are we going to paint the eggs together, Cara?"

"Oh, I just remembered, my little bird. You'll paint the eggs. I ordered Easter bunnies made of chocolate. I'm going to get them."

He left the apron tied around his waist on the table, turned the door handle, and left the kitchen without even letting me talk.

The job was left to me. I painted the Easter eggs, which represent rebirth and resurrection, one by one in different colors. For a moment, a strange expression appeared in my eyes. These colorful eggs resembled the pebbles I collected on the beach when I was a child.

I felt really sluggish as I stared at the kitchen door right in front of me .

After I had completed the task that Cara had given me, I had to go to my room. I'm not used to working so hard, because I always grew up to be my father's clumsy and sweet daughter.

*****

I realized it was morning when I opened my lashes, which resembled a ball of thread that crossed each other.

I got up slowly from where I was lying and went down the stairs waddling after routine waking procedures.

"Good morning, clumsy little one. You're awake?"

As I turned around, he pulled out the orange towel hanging around his neck, rubbed his wet chest hard with a towel and dried it.

"Good morning, daddy. Yeah, I woke up early."

He moved towards me. He put his long fingers through my hair. For a while, he examined my face with his eyes to the smallest detail. I put my head against his wet chest. I was so happy with my position that I was intertwined with this body that surrounded me.

"Happy Easter, my little clumsy."I dived slightly deep into his eyes, separating my head from his wet chest. These eyes told me a lot today.

"Thank you, daddy. Happy Easter."

"Come on, Get ready and come downstairs. Today is a special day."

I dived into his eyes; I smiled .

"I'm getting ready, handsome old man."

After I left him, I had to go to my room and put on the clothes I had reserved to meet Easter. I opened yesterday's shopping bags and looked at the clothes I was going to wear for today. My father's pleasure is incredibly good. I took the white lace detailed dress out of the shopping bag and quickly tried to get dressed and ready.

I feel like I'm trapped in a swamp of mixed emotions today. I was prepared.

About an hour and a half later, I went downstairs.

I was straightened from where I was sitting when I heard the sound of the outside door opening. As I walked down the long corridor, my eye hit a couple who were meekly standing at the door.

"Hello, come in, please. Where were you?"Cara asked, in an excited tone of voice.

"Hello, I think we've kept Mr. Hannan waiting too long."

I've never seen the talking man before.

As I walked to the outside door, Cara welcomed them inside.

"Oh, so you are here"

As I turned around, my father took a quick step up the stairs to the guests.

"Sorry we're late, Mr. Hannan."

They shook hands and then moved on to the winter garden. Something was weird. The woman who was with the man did not speak at all. Looking over my shoulder, my father said, " Misha, we have guests, girl."

I made my way to the winter garden. I looked like a timid girl who was just starting to walk.

"Misha, my daughter, may I introduce Father Rohan and Sister Adelina."

"Hello, welcome, Happy Easter." with a slight smile."Hello, Misha, this is Father Rohan. Happy Easter."

Sister Adelina leaned against the seat, throwing her head back. There was one oddity. The sound of my brain bubbling was very annoying. She was like a mute stuck in a void, Sister Adelina.

As I sat in the single seat by the window, I said, "Miss Cara, can you bring the treats?"

"Coming right up, Mr. Hannan."

They were immersed in a deep conversation. This strange woman, who captured my gaze, was watching me with her eyes full.

Cara quickly prepared and brought the treats.

A strange feeling poked my body. Birds were pecking at my head.

This situation made my soul tremble.

Sister Adelina straightened from his seat. She picked up her black bag, which was on the floor, and headed down the hallway. She got down on her knees; she unzipped the black bag with sluggish touches. Immediately afterwards, she removed the candles, which were of different colors. She lined the long corridor to the exit door, lighting candles one by one, singing hymns.

This woman, who was my focus for a while, was making me uneasy. The hymns that clogged my ears were confusing my heart rhythm.

Her tone pierced my eardrum like a pointed needle.

And that bitter sound was moaning in the cavities of my eardrum.

I continued to look at her blankly. She lined up burning colored candles, accompanied by hymns.Sister Adelina looked at me on her shoulder.

Shee unzipped her black leather bag and made her way to the winter garden.

"Shall we get up ?" Sister Adelina asked.

I was surprised.

My soul had witnessed this voice before my body. He broke the silence.

"Yes, let's get up, Mr. Hannan. We're waiting for you at the church."

He was quickly straightened. And he and Sister Adelina made quick strides down the long corridor to the outer door.

Father Rohan turned the handle of the door and opened the door. He looked at my father with his smiling eyes on his shoulder.

"Do not be late, Mr. Hannan. See you at the church. "

"We'll be there in half an hour, do not worry, Father Rohan. See you."

I was sitting in the single seat with my knees pulled to my stomach .

I was watching my father close the outer door and step waddly towards me. I rolled my eyes and looked at my wound in the palm of my hand, and every once in a while I felt an indescribable pain.

I stood up, and it just ended up in front of me.

He looked at me with big eyes before he realized what had happened.

"Are you all right, beautiful?"

When my eyes slipped into his big eyes. "Yes, I'm fine, Daddy."

"We have to be at the church in half an hour. So be prepared."

"I'm ready, handsome old man."

His eyes grazed like a shooting star in my eyes.

He left me softly. He came up the stairs with ant-heavy steps.

We arrived at the church about half an hour later.

Chapters from the Bible were read and prayed. I felt left out from the crowd that I was in.

Rituels was continuing in the churchyard, where extensive security measures were taken.

Immediately after the chapters recited from the Bible, candles were lit accompanied by hymns.

These enormous hymns made all my feathers bristle at the same time, and my body contract sweetly.

Sister Adelina was looking at me on her shoulder with lit candles in her hand. She was just watching me for a few minutes with eyes that were never bored.

She was moving in hasty steps towards me.She just came out in front of me at the speed of lightning.

"You should not be here."

Her voice, submerged in a swamp of mud, was menacing in the words she said only by moving her lips.

"You're nearing the end. You know, of the past seven deadly sins, Misha is the worst."