MYSTERIOUS LETTER

What exactly was that called? I did not know.As if I am in a blind alley. I'm walking down this blind alley, with my brain stuck in my palm.

My mind is moaning."Death," my body whispers to this universe.

I'm like a suddenly changing season. I'm turning into a piece of ice, slowly. I'm melting, I'm becoming water; I can not turn into a body to leak. "Sister Adelina never came to church. It's dead." This wind of death, whispering in my mind, caused me to go mad.

As my breath turned into a disaster that hurt my throat, the sky covering death was intent on turning the wind of death into a hurricane in my mind.

I was looking at Cara, who was standing in front of me like the wreckage of a destroyed house. I could not see her face, and the eraser that challenged my life had erased her expressions.

She was moving in shaky steps with a suitcase in his hand towards the Doure River. She pushed her hair that it is hiding the weakness of her face, behind her ear. She turned around and looked askance on me. It was not hard to see from her eyes, the longing she hid in her pupils. And the lines on her face betrayed her.

A slight smile on her face, ignore the tears oozing from my eyes, she shook her head as I stepped in with the excitement that I was going to take a step.

She looked vaguely under her eyebrows, first at me, and then at our ceramic house. The ends of her azure silk dress were blown by the wind, accompanied by rain.

Every time the drops in my wet body fell into the puddle under my feet, the sound of "splash" caused me to be startled by the rain. And then I was like listening to the notes of a mysterious music whispering into the sky.

All of a sudden, she took her gaze from me and turned around and drove down the busy long street to the Doure River. And she disappeared. Among the tears that rolled in rows, the green and yellow colors of the grass dazzled my eyes.

Insects waking from sleep, bird chirps meet the sunrise.

My gaze hit the box in black shades that Sister Adelina left me before her death. I reached out through the grass and picked it up and stood up from where I was sitting. I sniffed one more time and took heavy steps towards the house.

Today, this corridor seemed longer than ever. Clinging to the plexi-glass banisters of the wooden stairs, I climbed into my room with tired steps.

From my bed, where I lay for a few hours, I watched the rain fall. What I've been going through lately has been hitting the walls of my brain like an echo.

The nightmare I had, Sister Adelina's death, Cara's leaving the house, something my father was hiding from me, was very bothering me.

I briefly looked around. From where I lay, I slowly stood up and hung my feet down from the bed.

I came out of my room at a sudden speed with the sound of my stomach rumbling. As soon as I landed in the kitchen angerly, I walked to the kitchen counter and pulled the freshly squeezed orange juice on the counter in front of me and pulled a glass of water out of the kitchen cupboard. I took a sip of the fresh orange juice that I filled. Immediately after that, I opened the refrigerator door to suppress my hunger, and as I took the pre-prepared toast, I approached the table, pulled out the chair, and sat down. I took a slice of my toast and took a sip of my orange juice.

I'm dealing with this bitter feeling in me. The feeling of longing stuck in my throat was slowly showing its symptoms again. I already felt Cara's absence. I was a stranger to this feeling, but I knew I had to get used to it.

After a while, I went up to my room. I quickly walked into the bathroom as I removed my black sweater and jeans in shades of grey, which seemed to be worn out. I filled the tub with water and delivered my tired body to the water. Water dripping from my hair hung from my shoulder and stretched across my arms. The warm water comforted my soul a little bit.

When I came out of the water, albeit by force, my gaze slipped into the mirror in front of me for a moment. Grinning, I looked at my naked body with sore eyes. My tired body, which I wrapped in a soft towel, was wrinkled by the water.

I was going to calm my mind; I was going to find out what was going on.

When I walked into the room, the tick-tock of the clock made me startled. Time was moving in contrast to me. I opened the wardrobe door by sliding it open. After putting my ice-blue underwear on, I quickly put on my rotten cherry-colored pajamas.

I felt like I was falling into an emptiness. The hum of the rising wind did not allow me to serve as a door and get out of this nightmare. My gaze slipped into the black box on the bed.

As my wet feet squeaked on the floor, I approached my bed and took the box that Sister Adelina left me before she died.

My hands were shaking stubbornly at me. A sense of curiosity accompanied my worries. I decided to suppress the sounds in my head and open the box. I put my back on the headboard of the bed and finally opened the box.

In box, there was an envelope in white shades,. When I saw the sender's name on the envelope, I saw my pupils leave me. My heart is out of breath. My mind was stubborn

about what I was going through, just as I was witnessing a teacher who do its duty and do not stop asking questions that I do not know the answer. This letter belonged to my mother Elis, who died when I was very young, whose face I did not even see.

I opened the envelope slowly, carefully.

"Hello, girl.

Sometimes there are moments when you want to write a lot and you get locked up, or you have what you want to say, but not a word can come out of your mouth.

I also stayed at the beginning of these lines for a while. I realized I was talking to myself right now. I said, then write your daughter to talk to yourself. I wanted you to hear the voice of my soul. We've been through a difficult process. I've always talked about my own troubles in that process, but then I thought it was a very difficult process for you, too. The day you were born was the best moment of my destiny and the holiest day of my life. From time to time, they took you away from me.

I was so sorry.You were so sorry. Yes, you were young. Your innocent soul was unaware of anything. Maybe you cried a lot, but I did not even see it in those days. And then everything flashes before my eyes like a storyboard...

Not seeing your first crawl, your first step, is like tasting a piece of death, Misha.

After you, I began to fear death. Actually, this fear is the fear of not knowing what will happen to you after me. But I've been so brave. I'm brave enough to risk anything for you right now.

You'll have fears. I did, too. You'll have uneasiness, tides like me. There will be times when you feel helpless. But I believe you can handle it, girl. I'm so lonely in this big house. Fortunately, I have my close friend, Sister Adelina, who has recently been standing next to me, sewing ripped parts of my desperation. I'm not the kind of person who has high expectations in life. Although I never have been. My longing for you grows in my heart as the day passes.

I say," Come. ".But my voice does not reach you. My lips are tingling. The inability to speak,to shut up, this pressure drives me to death.

I'll translate the sound of my fears into sentences and meet them with papers.

It was midnight. The voices I heard caused my fears to rise again where it accepted death. I was alone in bed, and when I could not see your father, I could listen to the voices rising inside me with the anxiety that seeped from my mind to my heart with the same force. I got out of bed. I moved in the direction of the sounds. The voices were getting louder. I saw your father and Father Affan through the slightly ajar door of the study.

I listened to the voices.

Father Affan said, "I entrusted that pencil only to you. Not anyone else's. Only to you."

It seemed trivial to me that there was such a big argument for a pencil. I was surprised by what I heard when your father Hannan intervened.

He made his way to the window; he turned towards Father Affan, putting his hand through his hair,

"Yes, I had the pencil, but there is someone who manages this pencil. God damn it! It just disappears."

Father Affan took his hand to the crucifix necklace around his neck and began to pull it out with sudden speed and squeeze it in the palm of his hand.

"This pencil is the only bridge between two universes. If this bridge collapses, we will not be able to imprison any soul in different bodies."

I put my hand on the door and pushed it fast. As I opened the door completely and entered, your father and Father Affan looked at me with confused looks. I could not take a single step from the situation I was in. I was horrified when your father moved quickly towards me.

He squeezed my arm and pulled it towards himself " Why are you here? Should not you be in your room?" he said.

"What universe are you talking about? This is the pencil..."

I just looked at his face for a few seconds. Like the look in his eyes, his tone scared me. My eyes were like a self-dimming sun. This situation I was in caused my soul to collapse. When I finally opened my eyes, I looked around. I could feel the sweat pressure on my neck slowly percolating into my back. When I looked around again, I was in a place I had not seen before. I could hear these restless sounds surrounding me in every cell in my body.

"We must destroy it."

The voice I heard belonged to your father Hannan. They were going to lock me in a swamp with no end. I do not know how long, but I knew I'd been here for a week. From time to time, I would open my eyelids, accept weakness again, and settle for my darkness.

With the sound of the door creaking, my gaze headed towards the door, which remained ajar. It was Sister Adelina at the door. She came up to me and got down on her knees. She put her hands through my hair.

"I cannot do anything for you, Eliz."

She sounded more helpless and timid than ever. She accepted what was going to happen, just like me. And I knew I was approaching the end, because your father and Father Affan would not give up. I gave up being stubborn with my destiny. I also know that I do not have much time, and the bittersweet feeling that I will never see you again will cause my mind to rot. I do not know when you'll get this letter I'm writing to you right now, but it's a little bit of a relief to know that you're in good hands.

My friend Adelina will deliver this letter to you when the time comes.

My last whisper to your heart, Misha. The soul guides the body. Follow in your soul's footsteps and do not lose them.

Find that talisman! You are the guide of our souls.

I love you. Your Mother, Eliz."

My chest was going down and up fast. As I took frequent and deep breaths, my forehead was covered in sweat. I could not speak, and I realized I was crushed under my voice. As my eyelashes moved slowly, tears were running down my cheeks. My hands were shaking. How can it not tremble? This letter, which brought destruction, terrorized my heart. My twenty years grew up feeding on betrayal and clinging to lies. I was the only one who heard the screams rising in my heart.

"Why," I shouted suddenly, in a wobbly voice.

All I felt was desperation. Missing pieces of the puzzle were being completed one by one. My bewildered thoughts became mute and deafening. I was afraid of a lot of things until I was twenty. From the darkness, from my shadow, from the sound of thunder collapsing on me, the sizzling sounds consuming my mind...

That sense of fear was different, and now I was afraid of a man.

"Misha, girl, I'm home."

I hid the letter under my pillow in a hurry with the sound's effect approaching my room. I could feel the heavy footsteps very close. I wiped the tears from my cheeks. I was going to pretend nothing happened. I was going to accept it, knowing that this feeling that I was climbing would consume me.

My father and I made eye contact when the door opened.

"Misha!"His voice was sharp.

I did not have a single trace of emotion on my face. I felt the need to examine my father who is in front of me, again. I wanted this letter to be a dream, which changed my entire balance. His sharp, pronounced jaw-twisting angry gaze had directly targeted me.

"Will you talk?" His voice was menacing.

"Sorry! I have not been feeling well. I want to be alone awhile, dad."

He approached me as I was twisting where I was sitting. My eyes opened big as if they were coming out of their sockets. His gaze added terror to my existing fear.

He looked me in my eyes for a few seconds and immediately looked the ground. he got down on his knees; he looked at the envelope he had taken in his hand.

From where I was sitting, I stood up at a sudden speed.

"Dad!" I stuttered.

He looked at the ceiling, throwing his head back. I could feel his teeth clenched. He looked at my eyes. He slowly raised his index finger and put it between us. He raised his eyebrows and slowly opened his lips as he hovered his menacing gaze over my face.

"Where's the letter in the envelope, Misha?"