Fantastic World of Things That Only Happen in My Head

Introduction Diary

- Hi I'm Luci I decided to write a diary. Even without knowing what to write or what I've been reading lately, I found myself in the midst of lo-fi amid nostalgia, and I came across this title. But what really happens in my head? I thought about it while I got my pimples out in the bathroom. I realized that my dark circles needed makeup… They are still dark and it is past midnight and insomnia captivates me a lot. as a child I loved McDonald's, the clown knows? Lol I really wanted to go one day, until I convinced and went with my parents, wow! I met a Macdonald clown! However, on the same day arriving home, my crazy drug father beat my mother while I was just watching, as usual this would have become routine, so it was not a happy day. I ended up seeing him from then on, until one day he went out to buy cigarettes, I wait until today, at 18 and the cigarette is being manufactured, planted and harvested. Do not know. In fact, the only memory I have of my parents together is physical and verbal abuse. I grew up in this whirlwind. But I grew up and walk in this daily hip-hop lo-fi, people going to work and coming back through the crowd I watch from the window of my house to the street… I live in a busy street and full of shops with bright lights and cheap drugs, but in the midst of it all I observe the calm part of it all. That depressed guy walking slowly with cigarettes on his lips and headphones through all the turmoil as if nothing was important or interesting. Is this everyday, things that happen in my head? I can't say ... they happen on a daily basis, at midday and in the middle of the night when the colors are more intense and vibrant. As in a work of art (the starry night) More than 50 thousand tons of gray and I prefer colorful things than tones without charm and Natural elegance. Have you stopped to watch like flowers? They are so beautiful and elegant naturally, but what are beautiful flowers? O'What are ugly flowers? Are there standards for flowers? Um… One day I will ask a very experienced florist about. Speaking of observes a few months ago I observed in the middle of a river a piece of Styrofoam that could be said to be a "buoy", it floated on the river ... It continued on its way, but it could not change the route in any way, no matter how much the wind it hits hard the river's path would not change for that buoy, She would follow her own destiny through the path made by the river, without even questioning if she wanted that same thing. It may seem crazy, but I am those buoys that the wind beats hard and ends up flying, and flying ... It ends up going away and changing the course coming out of the river ... That came to mind when I saw the buoy fly! I felt surprised by that force that the wind blew the buoy. I hope she is well, I hope that one day this buoy can create wings and fly around. I also want to be a bird, right? Remind me of a phrase now "If you love a flower, don't pick it. Because if you pick it, it dies and ceases to be what you love. So if you love the flower, let it be. Love is not in possession. Love is in evaluation "-osho. I love this phrase, it made me reflect on love while I found myself reading it in my immaculate mind, I stopped thinking of love as possession and started to admire it as something that goes beyond carnal desires and "bodily" affections if there is affection there. sentimental today- (ironies) So I decided to go out on the street after refuting it in my head and wiggling from side to side, I decided to remember the times I tried to be just another teenager sitting on a chair at school trying to learn the way traditional, I am a bad student just in case I have red notes most of the time, but I never tried to try and make sense, the moment I sit in the chair feeling anxious to get out… I was in a fierce battle against the clock, counting the hours to learn in class, and I ended up learning the hours and the teacher counting the lessons. Reasons why I gave up studying several times, courses, schools, etc. It is now 3:26 am and the clock keeps counting the hours and hours like a cigarette with each drink. I usually walk at dawn on the beach, bare feet in the cold sand, I smoked a cigarette or several for several. In the jungle of stones I find myself in the lo-fi. Just like this book! It sounds nostalgic and homely in its reading, with mistakes and more mistakes. The day-to-day movement, the swaying and shouting of the street vendors on the subway sound, it makes nothing start to dazzle and violent beats become slow and calm. What do I do wrong? I am very sleepy… But the reason is relative, I ended up sleeping. I woke up, now it's 11:36 am and I'm too lazy to get out of bed and go to the window to watch the movement of Friday days, on Friday days the streets tend to be more agitated and as people are happier for the weekend, you usually see the latent smile on their faces as they pass by

you feel anxiety and joy in the air emanating from people. Today at ten o'clock in the morning I went to the beach, full Sunday the busy beach, saves lives by working hard. Every 15 minutes there were drownings close by and I was just watching, the sun was going down until 5 am and the sun was setting ... The sunset is beautiful near the Rocks, and makes you think about what it would be like to see from other angles over there close. How many hours did I spend sitting there? I don't even know how many, but I enjoyed every minute just watching without haste to be happy, without even knowing what happiness is. Speaking of which, I realize that we live in a peculiar way with existential crises, anxiety, depression and etc ... People with prey for the future wanting to let go of the past. Rushing into the present, we end up making the past present, and making the future present. The end of everything is just a dream, without an achievable future, I am what they call bittersweet without even making a close! Without violent beats, I substituted them for calm and light beats like feathers ... With homemade effects of dirty ambience, We live in a complicated time, the era of depressions perhaps? People anguished in the midst of crowds or perhaps even the crowds anguished and saddened by themselves, frustrated people and who usually complain to themselves or to others how much his life sucks! shit maybe? Speaking of crap we are also experiencing a crisis on social networks called "post crap" the era of crap posts, where they seek likes and not a reflection for others ... Or even he did not reflect and left doing the POST? (RSrs) On second thought, most of these people are teenagers dissatisfied with the direction in which life is taking, adolescence really is complicated. When we are in our twenties, we start to change our mentality in an extraordinary way, we will never realize or know what it is to be an adult… Not even the adult knows if he is really an adult, the truth is that nobody knows anything. Maybe being an adult is just being a bearded child who works, drinks beer and grows a beard. Is that being an adult? I really have no idea. A great fact about me is that I have been radically changing these last few years, and each day changing more and more! I am even afraid of what I will look like tomorrow since I change so spontaneously and quickly, As a child I thought I was somewhat incomplete like the oriental tale of "HYOKU" the legend of the one-winged bird. It is a tale of two mythical birds of junction where both could only win the skies if one had help from the other, according to the Chinese legend tells the story of a young bird that was born with only 1 wing and was despised by all the others because he couldn't win the skies, but then he discovered an opposite bird that would have just one wing just like him, and the two could win the skies together. In fact, discover this story through an anime called Darling franxx which was one of the anime that fascinated me the most up to the present moment. So I believe that this may have helped to convey a little of this conception that I have. It is difficult for you to explain the dishes that go on in your head, or maybe it is not even possible. what do you create in your head? I still have a lot of ground to walk, after all. I don't want to be another hoax! The words in the middle of the movement of coming and going in the streets, the noise of cars and raindrops, TV advertisements and the speeches of people in the streets, the ringing of the phone call. Imagine a man in lo-fi in the midst of all this chaotic atmosphere, bored by work Smoking a cigarette and listening to Sad music in his headphones, is completely calm and in the cloudy zone, even at that rhythm he finds this chaotic harmony, Disorganized he organized and fit. People without dreams tend to be ashes. Not only ashes, but they also tend to practice hypocrisy: the art of demanding from others what is not practiced. I'm wrong? I believe that I am not, People socially talking while having a snack on the corner pod.

Listening to a country sound on a 15 degree night is smiling, everyone in black wears coats and jackets I just watching with my headphones. Sometimes I just wanted to dive Into the sea, like If Everything Was Submerged ... people look at me crookedly in search of "soap" When we are children it seems that we are more crazy. we are less afraid of death, children have always had better luck being protected by Gaia, many people consider me a smart guy, not very smart. Not because of the amount of books I read, much less the amount of things I have studied. Yes, due to the amount of experiences I have had, the things I saw and the experiences I have had. In my view, the streets are also philosophy, they are the greatest philosophies of life all linked to a small lo-fi of bored eddies. Today I think differently than before ... I just want expensive whiskey, drugs and women by my side. It took me a long time to realize, but in the hell we live. Only those who become devils go forward! I became and made this capital satanic "pact" ... Accepting capitalist lusts and living a life of capital goods, I did not change my revolutionary point of view. I still have him every day with me. But sometimes I find myself thinking about the current society's olocaust, some wanting weapons as a form of protection. But weapons are for attacking and not protecting, if you want to protect yourself, just buy a shield, not a sword. Or I would need a better excuse…. I am tired of certain subjects, Lives bored in glasses of codeine, promethazine. But I don't even promise you anything, loves frustrate you today or even in the woods. I'm not even here to do the media I'm a car on the corner with the flashing alert And echoing the noise of dawn. Drunken souls in the club dropped another bullet, I just want to get on without arguing or fighting inside the house. Walking with my headphones in the quiet area of ​​the turbulent urban city, Well ... That was the introduction to the book, things that happen inside my head.