Chapter 58th

Silence surrounded me as I ran deeper into the school grounds. Reaching the roofed courtyard, my steps now echoed loudly, filling the night and depriving me of any chance of hiding.

Perhaps due to the emptiness of that place, or perhaps due to how my noisy feet preceded me, Chris no longer ran. He merely walked his usual long stride, and he always managed to be close enough to see me, to intimidate me with those fixed eyes. He didn't look tired anymore… he wasn't panting, or sweating, and he didn't look terribly angry either. My choice of place had granted him the grace of recovering, as he no longer had to run. I had stopped for a second – a precious, breathless second! – with my hands on my knees, nearly choking on my own thirst for air… but not even that fraction of a second could I have safely spared! Dread filled me to watch his relentless approach, invariably there. Had I made the wrong choice, coming here? – exhausted thoughts swirled. Did he celebrate the isolation I wrought upon us by choosing the school as my hiding place? I knew it would be empty… I knew there would be no guards, not so deep into recess as we were. What was I thinking then? Nothing… not thinking: I couldn't think, not when so short of breath.

Running was no option, I knew that from the start: I couldn't run forever – or so I reminded myself as I willed my heavy body start again, stand up straight, resume the dragging of my feet, one after the other, until I had achieved something akin to a race. – I had to hide. The school I grew up in was the one place I could hide, and also the one place I could find a phone: it wasn't a terrible choice. There was still a chance.

But to embrace it, I must push a little harder, find the last of my energy and run just a little longer… just around that one corner, around the reception, where he couldn't see me, and off to the far end, to that grey tower edging both sides of the school building: the fire escape.

Of course, Chris most certainly had turned the corner of the reception and seen me enter the tower, seen the heavy metal doors closing behind me at least… but this is where I'd stop exhausting my body and start using my thinking. He wouldn't be able to guess what floor I would step out on, and that was my chance.

I nearly crawled up with the rest of the strength I had in my legs… and that spoiled my plan: Chris would certainly guess, from seeing my state, that I couldn't go up two flights of stairs before being reached again, and would leave on the second floor. The less predictable thing to do would be to climb higher… but faster, fast enough to disappear by the time he entered through those doors at the bottom. My body couldn't possibly do that, not breathless as I was.

So I was smarter than that: I'd use the darkness! Instead of finishing my climb and leaving through the closest door, I ran back down to the bottom of the stairs and walked around the first flight, hiding behind the steps, in a dark corner where I was sure to go invisible if I managed to stay quiet enough – to control my haggard breath enough!

I crouched down and peeped through the solid metal bars, painted a rusty red, watching, waiting, my head filling with blood as my heart pumped fast… expectation bringing me to the edge. Time moved fast: I had barely rested, barely managed to even out my breathing, when the heavy door was flung open, noisily, wrenching a fright from me. I held my mouth to keep from screaming, to keep a single gasp from betraying me, and watched as light stole in, surrounding Chris's imposing silhouette and simultaneously turning him dark: I could not see his face, how it looked, how ill-intentioned… I could only mark his broad frame, his composed, confident stride as he reached the steps and looked up through the rails… looking for me!

The door closed behind him, and all was dark again… dark, and so mortally quiet, that a single squeak from my shoe would be heard! I crouched there as still as I could, but the pressure itself was enough to send my bones rattling… I could only hope those would go unheard, too… Could only hope he'd move upstairs at once, instead of lingering there as he did, trying to listen for me, like a calculating predator as opposed to the impulsive beast I needed him to be in order to stand a chance against him!

I squeezed my eyes shut, praying or hoping, I did not know, but I kept them shut, and I kept my mouth squeezed in my palm, and my feet firmly planted down, until I could no more… until I whimpered, air escaping me in a panicked, uncontrollable gush… but, what a blessing: it came just as he'd stepped onto the metal stairs, a heavy clunk silencing all else. I breathed out as I heard him mount the steps. I was safe… for now!

I stretched my neck ahead and watched as he climbed – a slightly denser shadow in the dark. Somewhere, he stopped – first floor? Second? I couldn't tell, all those railings and metal bars overlaying confused me. The door there was pulled open, and light momentarily invaded… but he lingered there, probably watching, listening, thinking up a plan. Then, I don't know what he decided, but he disappeared from view and the door was closed, darkness befell me again.

Now, I had two choices: I could walk slowly up, praying he wouldn't change his mind and come back through the same door and find me just on my way there… or I could leave again, first floor, run to the gate, run out, gain the street… run, run, run… my legs would definitely fail me, if I tried! Chris would see me from the corridor upstairs, he would reach me in no time – and if he didn't, he could always just take a shot: it's not like anyone would see him, here in this empty place where I had brought him! No… there was no hope for me on the first floor, I had to climb to the third, to not risk running into him. There, I could find the principal's office, where I'd definitely find a phone. I'd call the cops, hide, then wait. It was a good plan – the best I could hope for, to have it on the table again: a chance at survival! No violence, no blood – for either of us. My heart beat vertiginously with that hope – not the exhilaration it brought me, but the absolute dread of failing! I couldn't lose… I couldn't get caught… If I did, that would be the end, for sure! Walking was too dangerous: I might run into him coming back. No, I'd have to run, run fast and smoothly: silently on those metal steps... Take my shoes off, maybe? Socks only? No… there was no time! Sweat dripped down my face, I grasped the metal railings, I started my way up…

…but then it hit me like a bolt – a thought, a mere idea, less than a second long, but enough to petrify me where I stood: What if Chris didn't get out on the second floor? What if, like me, he had just hidden in the dark, waiting for me to reveal myself? My breathing picked up, as if I now stood at the mouth of the lion, too dark to see its fangs around my throat! For some reason, that thought felt like the absolute truth, and I could almost see him up there, his pale eyes hidden in the shadows, looking down, waiting for me to walk right into his grip, dumb and unsuspecting. I couldn't move! Not even to climb back down could I move! And if I focused enough, I could almost hear him there: his breathing, calm and collected, waiting. It was all in my head, most likely. Most likely, he wandered the second floor, looking for me. But I couldn't risk it. I couldn't possibly spoil my chances, when I was so close! Shaking, terrified, I pulled one foot back down, then another, then I walked around the stairs and opened the door – I knew I would be heard now, and he'd come after me, so if I can't run, the least I can do is rush. Rush somewhere, and hide!