Chapter 3

April 2011

It was already summer. My relatives went here in our province for vacation. Our house was, once again, packed. Ever since, I had been feeling insecure and envious with my cousins when they were with my uncles.

It made me miss Papa more.

I pouted and decided to just call him.

As I was walking towards my room, Jane, one of my cousins, blocked my way. She was three years younger than me but she has always acted like she was older.

"Where are you going, Ate? Are you going out?" she snickered although it was obvious I was on my way to my room. She then added with so much exaggeration, "Don't! Your skin will be burned and you will look like a very black charcoal! We won't be able to see you in the dark, then."

She laughed with humor as if she wasn't bullying me. My eyes moistened with unshed tears. I ran away and found myself looking at the mirror in my room.

I stared at my reflection as my tears overflowed. "Why is my skin like this? Why am I not fair like the rest of my family?" I wailed looking at my tanned skin through blurry eyes, "I hate my skin! I hate my skin! I hate my skin!" I roared while slapping myself.

~

After my merienda with Harlyn, I went back home just three blocks away from school.

When I entered our house, I immediately saw my nine-year-old sister, Toni, slouching on the couch. She was busy playing on her phone while the television was on.

I shook my head. I walked towards the coffee table and reached for the remote to turn the television off.

In consequence, Toni whined, "Ate, I'm watching!"

"You're wasting too much energy, Toni. Care for the world for once", I scolded her.

"It's not like the world cares for me anyway", she fired back and walked out towards her room.

I just sighed and walked towards mine too. I was too tired to worry about her outbursts right now. She would eventually come around just like how it always was.

"Why, you are surely the best sister, Tati", my subconscious derided me. I ignored it and opened the door to my room.

I slumped on my bed and laid on my back, looking at the ceiling. I tried to recall the important events that happened this day but my mind was clouded with James' form.

I was still confused why and quite surprised that he wanted to be friends with me.

It was not that he was an out-of-reach type of guy. He was actually friendly and very outgoing. I just didn't expect that he would consider me to be one of his friends. Now, I wasn't looking down at myself nor was I regarding him too highly. It was just simply because we were never really friendly with each other, and I honestly never liked James' nature. He has the tendency to disrespect women he wasn't closely acquainted with. He would find faults and throw insults at them, me being one. He had hurt my ego for a couple of times in the past actually.

One time, he noted that my hands were that of an old man. An old man! I mean, it wouldn't hurt much if he referred to an old lady but an old man? Who did he think he was really? Another time was when I got mad with our classmates and was scolding them in front. He loudly remarked that he could cook in my nose with its oiliness and my hot temper. All of our classmates, of course, laughed with his joke and I was so embarrassed, I had to walk out!

My body quivered with the memory. I sat up and decided to just take a shower to wash out negative energy in my system. I couldn't afford any breakdowns tonight. I still had a lot of things to do. I shouldn't dwell on my dark mind and broken heart for now. I sighed.

It seemed that school aas the only one that could encourage me to set aside my dark thoughts. I shook my head and walked towards the bathroom.

•••

After my quick shower, I went out of my room to have dinner. When I entered the kitchen, no one was about. A scene I was quite used to. My sister was probably eating in her room while playing games with her phone.

I glanced at the wall clock and saw that it was just quarter after six. My mother, Tina Mercado, owned a big store located at the city proper just outside San Roque, our town. She would surely be home late. My father, Ronald Mercado, however, wouldn't be home because he was out of the town, working. He would only be present in the house twice a month or every special occasions. He was an engineer, by the way.

I approached a pot I assumed where dinner was and opened it. Inside was Adobong Manok, a classic Filipino dish. It was basically a chicken dish braised in soy sauce. Ate Stella, our helper, must have cooked it earlier.

I put the lid back on the pot and turned to the refrigerator on the other side of the kitchen to look for some biscuits. I, then, made a bottle of coffee that would last me for the whole night.

I had always loved coffee ever since I was a child. Sometimes, I would pour it on the rice when we were having binislad, or dried fish. If I was right, I learned it from Inay, my mother's mother.

Contented with a bowl biscuits and a bottle coffee, I left the kitchen and went back to my room.

•••

My fingers on my right hand were already aching after I finished my assignments on Science, English, and Religion.

I stretched for a bit and drank some coffee. A hundred and forty six minutes have already passed. It was now time to plan and choreograph our dance performance.

We have decided to perform a Kpop dance, a hip-hop dance, a contemporary dance, two folk dances, and finally, a not-really-a-cheerdance-but-my-classmates-still-call-it-a-cheerdance dance. I already grouped my classmates, including myself, earlier. Now, I just had to decide what music we would dance to and plan the flow of the whole dance performance, then choreograph.

I sighed to myself, already dreading the long night.

•••

After a short sleep, I was already awake.

Unlike most people who needed alarms to wake up, I was accustomed with waking up early every morning on my own. It was mainly because of my love for slow mornings. Before, I tried to always wake up early to satisfy that lust until it finally became a habit. There were just so many wonders in every morning especially if one was living in a province like me.

The rising of the glorious sun, the chirping of the birds, the distant sound of men and women getting ready for the day, and, of course, the great company of my good old friend, coffee. It might be the death of me but I didn't really care. I found solace in drinking coffee. I didn't exactly know why. Maybe it was because of its taste? Or its warmth that always burned my tongue in every first sip? I didn't know.

I glanced at the window adjacent to my bed. It framed the golden hue of the sun peeking at the horizon. The sight brought a smile to my face and a motivation to move now. It was probably nearing six. I got off my bed and went straight to the bathroom to take a long bath for a very long day ahead.

After my bath, I looked at my reflection in the full-length mirror in my room. I was sporting a fitted shirt tucked in a wide pants and a pair of mules. I looked intently at the pair, contemplating whether or not I should wear it

today. We would surely do a lot of walking.

A minute after, I stepped out from the mules and stepped in to a pair of white sneakers. I reached for my backpack that accommodated my phone, my earphone, my laptop, my wallet, a notebook and a pen, a book, a pouch for my sanitary stuff, another pouch for chargers, a comb, a perfume, a handkerchief, and an adjustable stick for...directing purposes. It was just me really.

After preparing myself, I went out of my room and headed towards the kitchen.

"Morning, Ate Stella!" I greeted our helper who was organizing the groceries, "Mama's already out?"

"Where are you going, Tati?" my mother appeared beside me just after I inquired about her presence. I glanced at her and noted how fresh and clean she was with her matching outfit.

"Shooting", I answered. "Baon?" I asked for some pocket money.

She glared at me before handing out two hundred-peso bills and nagged, "Save money."

I reached for the money with a scoff and went to the other side of the kitchen to make my coffee.

Two hundred pesos would not clearly do much today. Good thing I had my savings with me.

After making my coffee, I disappeared to the terrace behind our house and decided to read a few chapters of 'The Morning Mind' before heading out.

•••

I reached our meeting place five minutes past seven and, as expected, I was the first to arrive. I sat on the bench situated under a tree and started pestering my classmates with their tardiness in our chat group. After making sure that they were finally on their way, I plugged in my earphone and decided to watch Pamela Swing's vlogs to kill time.

After ten minutes or so, I was about to message my classmates again when Harlyn arrived along with Dylan Bonifacio, a meek person with a blatant but not necessarily offensive mouth. He was a friend I banter with almost every time.

"You're late", I pointed out.

"You're also late", Dylan retorted.

He called earlier this morning to probably inform me that he would be late but he stopped when he had learned I was quite late too.

"At least I was earlier."

"Still late."

"What are you watching?" Harlyn interrupted.

"Vlogs", I answered just as Celine's group of friends arrived.

"Tati, did you include TWICE's songs in our dance?" Celine asked me with her high-pitched voice. She looked younger with her flowing dress and low pig tails. She looked cute even.

"Of course! I only included one song though. I needed to compress the length of our dance", I explained.

We talked more about the Kpop songs I included and the attires we would pull off. I had always loved to talk with Celine. Not only that she was very fun to be with but she was also a fangirl like me. She always fed me with latest news mostly about TWICE since she was a Once, whereas I stan not only TWICE but also EXO, iKON, GOT7, Red Velvet, BLACKPINK, MAMAMOO, Winner, Wanna One, among other Kpop boy and girl groups and also solo artists.

After what it seemed to be an hour of talking with Celine, everyone had finally arrived. Not all of my classmates though. Those who were just needed for the scenes we were about to shoot later were with us.

I saw James at my peripheral vision chatting with his friends. He looked dashing with a simple, printed t-shirt and faded jeans. "I never knew your peripheral vision was that sharp, Tati", my subconscious mocked me just as James averted his gaze on me. Hyperaware of his stare, I shook my head and focused my attention on more important matters.

"Come on, guys. Let's get moving. We already wasted an hour", I stated matter-of-factly.

We hurried towards the bunch of tricycles down the street. I glanced around our group that was composed of around twenty people. I concluded that we would need at least three tricycles to drive us to our destination, Bay Resort.

I sighed. It looked like we needed to make a smart bargain to save our money from those tricycle drivers who always took students for granted and raised their charge on us, thinking we were just a bunch of kids who knew nothing about commuting. I rolled my eyes and mumbled, "Sharks."