Chapter 8

September 2013

I was playing Chinese garter, a famous Filipino game which revolved around jumping over a garter, outside with the kids I just met while Inay played Bingo inside her friend's house.

It was my playmate's turn to jump when I saw a tall man from afar. He was wearing baggy clothes and he has beard on his chin. He was walking towards our direction with a limp.

When the man met my eyes, he bared his teeth by lifting both sides of his lips. It wasn't a smile I was accustomed of. He was smiling at me creepily as he looked at me like a prey.

My body started to shake involuntarily. I didn't notice that he has neared us when he suddenly made weird gestures with his hands, still looking directly at me.

When I snapped out of it, I run as fast as I could towards Inay's friend's house, and looked for her. I didn't know that fear was already falling from my eyes when I reached her.

I dropped beside her and pulled my knees to an embrace. Inay was now talking to me but I couldn't catch on to what she was saying as fear continued to swell behind my eyes and shake my whole body.

~

I was walking mindlessly in the hallway when Daniella came rushing towards me saying, "Tati, hurry!"

My brows wrinkled just as she reached me and literally dragged me towards the classroom. When we entered the door, everybody there threw me a knowing yet curious glance. I frowned even more but when I saw something on my desk that might've been the reason why they were looking at me like that, my heart pulsated.

"What is this?!" Livvy demanded when Daniella and I reached my desk where she and almost all the girls in the room were huddled. I dared not look around, afraid to meet a mesmerizing set of dark brown eyes, so I just focused my attention on what was on my desk.

There, sat a long-stemmed rose. Its color was that of a summer sunset. It came with a note and I was surprised none of them has opened it yet. "Of course no one would. Not when they know the one who gave that was in the room", my subconscious uttered dryly.

I ignored her, I ignored everybody else who was looking, and I ignored my heart that was lashing against my chest before I reached for the note and read it, "Good morning, love!"

I pursed my lips, trying to hide a smile. I hoped I wasn't failing because that would be very stupid of me. I just rejected him yesterday and here I was, feeling excited with simply a flower and a note—a very sweet note at that...at least in my opinion. I suddenly felt like a hypocrite.

I shook my head mentally. It was just a simple gesture but the fact that it made me feel so much urged me not to care for once. No one has done this kind of gesture to me before. I might have other admirers but they never went to such lengths like this...but that was also my fault, I gathered, since I never let them. But I also rejected James and yet, he didn't stop. I mentally slapped myself. I shouldn't compare them. They were all different.

"Those, you don't like. This, you like. Very much", my subconscious added which I ignored again as usual. I didn't want anyone to ruin this moment. Not when the longing I had been feeling for years has been replaced by something profound and very much reassuring. It even filled the hollow parts of my heart. It was surging throughout my entire being, reaching every part of me and whispering promises. I didn't quite know what it was but it brought me to a safe place.

A cough brought me back to Earth, here in our classroom with my nosy classmates who were scrutinizing me. Oh goodness.

Before anyone could speak among them, the bell rang, startling almost everyone. I smirked and uttered, "Saved by the bell."

They all groaned and started to leave but not without throwing me a this-is-not-over look. I just rolled my eyes at them.

"This is not over", Daniella put to words what their look was trying to convey.

•••

"Tell us now!"

"When did it happen?"

"Where did it happen?"

"How did it happen?"

Livvy, Louise, Daniella, and Harlyn asked all at once. It was already noon and instead of getting lunch, they decided it was great to just haul me to a corner and bombard me with questions. They didn't get the chance earlier during recess since I was requested to the faculty room, much to my relief, but they still found a chance to trap me which was currently happening now.

"I'm hungry", I said matter-of-factly, "Aren't you guys hungry?" I asked then looked at Harlyn. "Why are you even still here? Go home and eat!"

"We are hungry", Daniella replied and Harlyn added with, "for information."

"For gossip, you mean" I retorted. I opened my mouth to say more but Louise was faster to state, "Unless you tell us what the hell happened, we would suffer and die in hunger here."

I snickered with her overstatement, "You all aren't gonna leave me alone if I don't spill, eh?"

They nodded vigorously as I sighed in defeat and uttered, "Can't we sit first?"

Livvy grinned. "Ooh, it's gonna be long."

We settled on someone else's chairs and they all nestled their head on their hands that was leaning on the desk, looking at me with utter anticipation. I chuckled with their exaggeration and started to narrate what happened yesterday, just yesterday.

•••

After and during my storytelling, I have elicited different responses from each of them. Livvy was very excited, Daniella was laughing over my rejection to James, Harlyn looked very amused, and Louise was trying to be playful although I knew something was bothering her. What it was was for me to find out.

"What Tati's charm can do", Harlyn said while shaking her head and grinned, "I'm just surprised he didn't notice you earlier."

"I can't believe you rejected him!" Daniella guffawed. She never stopped laughing since I said I rejected James.

"Why did you even reject him? He's quite a catch", Livvy said and I looked at her like she was an alien who looked weird. "What?! Tati, you should really give the guy a chance. He seems sincere."

I ignored her statement and asked, "Can we now eat? I'm really hungry."

They finally agreed and we started to leave to buy our lunch. Harlyn decided to just join us.

As we were walking along the hallway, I hooked my arms at Louise' and slightly leaned my head on her shoulder.

"What is it?" I murmured, faint enough for her to only hear.

She looked at me and lifted her shoulders in a shrug, my head was lifted too, "Just worried."

"Why?"

"You seem like the guy."

I didn't admit nor deny it and just asked, "And?"

"I don't know. I guess, I'm just being judgemental. Or maybe I just don't like him."

I peeped at her like a child. I had always felt like a child around her, a baby even. She looked back with a smile and uttered, "Don't worry about me. If you do like him and if he makes you forget some lingering pain from the past then go for it."

I just smiled at her as her advise made me wonder. I never shared to anyone anything about my childhood, what I had been through in the past, but she seemed to know it. There were times even that she would study me when she thought I didn't know. Was she perhaps a mind reader? Should I be alarmed?

I mentally shook my head with my foolishness. What happened before wasn't a big deal, really, but it did made me the person who I was today...which was...a terrible one. Maybe she just saw something in me by chance that had made her be aware somehow but she really didn't know what it was or why it was there. I really just hoped so.

•••

The sound of the bell enveloped our classroom which woke us all from our daydreams. I was confident that everyone was absentminded as we wrote on our notebooks what was written on the board. It was already afternoon that's why. Everybody's tired and sleepy.

When the teacher got out, I silently made my way in front in hopes of finally discussing a plan for the birthday surprise. I wanted to be rid of worrying about it and maybe someone else could take charge of it. Just maybe because I was really in need of at least something close to a break.

When I reached the table in front, I called for everyone's attention, "Hey! No one's allowed to go out yet! We'll discuss something."

Some gave me their full attention but most of them were just talking to their own accord. I sighed. At least no one left.

I mentally shook my head. So much for being a leader and not being able to control who you lead.

"Ami, can you please close the door?" I tried to ask Amillana Ramirez, who was sitting near the door, amidst the blabbering.

"Should I prepare a notebook and a pen?" Ryan, the tardiest, asked dryly.

I smiled sweetly at him, "If you think you can memorize everything we'll discuss today without writing them down, I guess you can choose not to."

He glared at me, "I'm not even the secretary", I heard him complained but still turned to get his notebook and pen. I chuckled lightly and focused my attention to everyone else who were still busy in their own worlds. I was not surprised anymore.

They had always been like that...very hard to control. They would only comply when they deemed it important to them, just to their selves. Not that I wanted to really control them, I just wanted them to at least pay a quarter of their attention to me whenever I tried to talk in front. It was just really humiliating and draining how they ignored me at times like this. I just sighed. At least they trusted me enough to had followed my lead.

"Hey! Tati's gonna say something!" Harlyn tried to silence everyone but her attempt was futile, so I thundered, fully aware that the whole school would also probably hear me, "Everyone! Shut up! For goodness' sake!"

That did it. I cleared my throat, I would need lots of water after this.

"Okay! Now, I believe we should plan for the birthday surprise so we can start preparing every time we can", I started but before I could continue, Kyle Stuart Moreno, one of James' friends, just had to interrupt.

"James, you should help Tati there", he loudly uttered which drew a lot of encouragements and teasings. My pursed my lips, quite frustrated and irritated that I hadn't even started yet I already felt spent.

And goodness, everyone knew about us! I didn't exactly know how I should react with that. We were not even an item. I exhaled loudly with the splash of stress that invisibly slapped me back to reality.

I was about to interject when James suddenly stood up and walked towards me. The teasings intensified. Just how supportive they were to their president. I rolled my eyes.

James sat on the teacher's table and I scoffed. The audacity of this guy to sit there.

I remained standing beside the table and looked at him wryly, hoping that any signs of my favor of having him by my side wouldn't show on my face.

He smirked at me. "What?!"

I cocked my eyebrows high and his smirk grew bigger so I just sighed and turned away from him. I was not good at this.

"Can you all please shut up now so we can start planning?!" I roared to everybody else and that did it again. "Now, can anyone share some suggestions? I've already made some but I'd rather hear what you guys think."

James snatched the notebook I was holding and looked through my notes. I just let him since it was just my to-do list solely for school.

"Are we gonna like make a program and throw a party or something?" Carol asked in which I responded, "Yes, I've already asked for permission although the principal is yet to approve."

"Why don't we focus first on the activities?" James suddenly said beside me. I looked at him and saw that he was already peering at me. His head was slightly tilted upwards and he just looked so handsome on that angle that I instantly wondered why I rejected him.

I scolded myself mentally. This was definitely one of the moments that I was thankful for my tanned skin. No one could really tell if I was blushing or not which was probably happening now.

I looked away and cleared my throat, "Okay", I turned randomly to someone, "Celine! Can you suggest something?"

She stammered, "We can dance?"

"We haven't even learned the dance for our task on P.E. yet", Mark retorted which made me remember our dance. My mind completely set aside the thought of James as I announced, "I will record the dance later tonight then I'll send it on our chat group so you can all learn by yourselves first. Then maybe on Wednesday, we could put it together."

They nodded in agreement. We didn't have any other choice anyway. We were technically and just literally short of time.

"We can sing", James suggested as he looked at me again. I didn't dare glance at him again.

"Who will sing?" Livvy inquired as Jeric said to James, "You can sing."

Ah yes, the guy beside was a very talented human being, I forgot. Not only could he play sports, but he could also sing.

"Of course, I can but I want it to be a duet", the very talented human being demanded.

"Dianne can sing with you", I suggested Dianne Mae Cruz. I looked for her and asked, "What do you think, Dianne?"

"It's cool", she responded and I smiled. I then looked at James for his approval and he just grimaced at me.

"What?" I sneered at him.

"I don't want anyone else! I only want you!" he scowled, pouting at me.