Walls and Weddings

A pair of double doors before me opened wide, and piano music played. In front of me was a long aisle filled with rose petals. Rows of chairs lined the aisle. And the people who filled the seats stood when the doors opened. At the end of the aisle, Altan stood next to an officiant wearing a black tux.

~This is it... I'm getting married now.... And I will spend the rest of my life as a duchess in this new world.~

The music played louder, and I began down the aisle. Holding a bouquet of roses in one hand and the skirts of my flowing white dress in the other. I had always imagined my father walking me down the aisle on my wedding day. But in this place, I had no father.

Altan met my eyes from across the aisle and smiled. But I felt nothing but emptiness. This was not what marriage was supposed to be. It was supposed to be wonderful, and beautiful, and at least consenting.

This was not marriage, it was a prison.

When I reached the end of the aisle, Altan took my hands. It was then that I noticed something different about the wedding hall, something unexpected: right behind where Altan and the officiant stood was a large four-poster king-sized bed, covered in silken white sheets.

"Do you," The officiant began speaking, and I took my eyes off the bed. "Altan, Fire Mage, and Duke of Kiziljer, take this woman as your wife?" he asked.

"I do." Altan responded and his dimple winked at me.

"And do you," he went on.

~Wow, this seems to be going very quickly.~

"Azul, Water Mage of Pani Rastra, take this man as your husband?"

I opened my mouth but did not answer.

~What would happen if I said 'no'?~

"She does." Altan spoke for me and my eyes widened.

"Very well," The officiant was apparently content enough with that answer. "Then I pronounce you man and wife! As your first act as a married couple, your witnesses will stand by as you consummate the marriage." he stepped back and gestured to the bed behind him.

My heart dropped to the floor.

"What?" I squeaked.

"Come," Altan squeezed my hands tightly and began toward the bed. "We must show our love to the witnesses."

"By doing what?" I whispered. Although I already knew the answer.

"We must make love for them to see." Altan answered and pulled me to the bed.

My heart began to race.

~In front of all these people?~

I looked behind me and saw Amah and Dilera were watching. They were going to watch us have sex?? along with all those other people?

Altan pushed my body onto the bed and I....

I sat up.

I was in my bed.

By myself.

There were no other people.

No Altan.

No wedding.

It was a dream.

I released a sigh and willed my heart to stop beating.

~I need to escape before the wedding.~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Okay," I whispered to myself, "Ten Ot is a Gullet, and two Gullet is a Fiet... So that means, wait, how much is an Ot, then? And what is a Sanct? Because, three sanct is also a Fiet. Or is it four sanct? Arghhh, why is the money system so difficult?"

"M'lady?" Dilera called to me and I turned away from my thoughts. "How much longer will we walk in the gardens? I fear the sun may scald your skin."

"Just a little bit longer." I told her then looked back to the fingers I had held up and was using to try to understand the money system here. Now the three fingers I held up made no sense to me. I threw my hands back to my sides and sighed.

My lesson with Professor Ruslan had been extremely educational today. At Altan's request, he had taught me about the money of Ot Ulut. Which, apparently, was near rocket science for my earthling brain to understand. Either I was worse at math than I thought I was, or the way they did mathematics in this world was completely different.

"I am also getting a bit hot." Dilera added. she had been trailing behind me, as a Lady's Maid should do. But for the last couple of hours since my class had ended, I had done nothing but walk around the gardens of the palace.

It wasn't without purpose, though. It was actually a necessary part of my plan for escape. After my traumatizing dream that morning and then a breakfast and lunch filled with Amah reminding me of my sexual duties to my husband. I knew with every spec of certainty in my body that I would have to find a way to escape before the wedding. Which was only seven days away, now.

After learning -well, attempting to- about money, I had asked professor Ruslan to teach me all about the trade routes of Kiziljer.

luckily for me, Professor Ruslan was very knowledgeable about trade routes but somehow dense enough to not ask why a future duchess would be so curious about learning them.

I now had the perfect route out of Kiziljer. But before I could get out of Kiziljer, I would have to escape the palace, and since just walking out the front gates was probably not an option, I had to search the palace grounds for the best route of escape.

So far, that wasn't going well.

I had walked the circumference of the Palace multiple times now, and I had yet to see any place that looked even remotely easy to escape from. I sighed and turned to my Lady's maid. "You do not have to follow behind me every second," I said to her. "You can wait for me in the shade of the palace."

"I am simply worried about your complexion, M'lady." Dilera rebutted.

"I would be worried too." A voice spoke beside me and startled me. I turned to find Altan grinning at me. "Look at your nose." he said and took a step closer to me. "It's turning red from the sun." he touched it lightly with his index finger and I felt my body react to his touch.

The memory of him last night on the rooftop came to the forefront of my mind, I had tried to stop myself from thinking about it all day, but when he stood in front of me, suddenly all I could think of was how soft his lips felt. And how sweet his words were. A chill ran down my back despite the heat as the memory of his kiss grabbed hold of me. It was so potent that my lips felt as if they were tingling. My heart jumped, then sank, then fluttered in my chest as I met his eyes and his dimple appeared.

~Dear god~

I hadn't met his eyes since the rooftop either. After our kiss, he had taken my hand and led me to the palace. The whole way back, I only stared at my feet as I walked. With each step, I attempted to get rid of the giddy feeling that was rising inside of me. I attempted to forget how Altan's touch had made me feel, forget how badly I wanted more.

"Did you miss me?" Altan asked? as he did, I saw Dilera bow out of the corner of my eye, then rush to the shade of the palace.

~Of course she is leaving me alone with him~

"Not particularly." I answered, although that may have been a lie. Truly, aside from planning my escape and learning about money, the only other thing that had been on my mind today was him. His dimple, his laugh, his kiss, the way his eyes flamed when he burnt that man, and the way he held my hand.

He was like a virus of the brain. It was as if every time I closed my eyes I could only think of him. I shook my head as I realized my mind was beginning to travel down that route again.

"Should I ask why my future Duchess spends so much time in the gardens that her nose turns red?" he asked, and I feared he may reach forward and touch my burning face again. I could not let that happen, because him reaching toward my face would be a reminder of how he had reached for me before he kissed me last night. And I was not allowed to feel the kinds of feeling that I felt when that happened. So, in response to his question, I began walking. I followed the path around the Palace wall, and, of course, he followed.

"I'm just bored." I answered.

"Bored?" Altan smiled, and I steered my hungry eyes away from his dimple. "In this Palace? You realize that even I have probably not entered every room in this place?"

He was implying that the palace was huge and therefore I shouldn't feel bored.

"Maybe so," I saw his hand swinging beside mine, then brought my hands up in front of me and pretended to pick at my nail. If I knew one thing, it was that Altan would grab for my hand at any possible chance he had. I couldn't have that. My heart was not allowed to flutter for him anymore. "But there is still a wall around the palace."

"So?" he looked at my hands that I was toying with in front of me.

"So, I still feel caged." I answered and continued down the path.

"Caged?"

~Jeez, this guy really doesn't get it.~

"Yes, no matter how nice it is in here. I'm still trapped here against my own free will. Therefore, it still feels like a cage." I turned my head slightly and met his eyes. Then immediately regretted that decision and brought my attention back to the palace walls.

Altan nodded, "So you are out here pacing like a caged lioness."

"Exactly."

"I get it." he smiled.

"You do?"

"When I was young, I felt the same way." he answered.

~That's right, last night he told me about how he used to sneak out of the palace and buy meat skewers.~

"Is that why you used to sneak away?" I asked, but didn't dare look at his face.

"It is." he answered, "Although, back then, I felt caged by far more than just these walls."

I couldn't help it, I looked at his face then. He was wearing I look I hadn't seen before. Although he wore a smile, he looked melancholy. I regretted looking at him, because at the sight I felt the urge to reach for him, but I was not allowed to do that.

"As the future of the Dukedom, I had many responsibilities and... expectations." he sighed and let his smile fall, "My father was a very strict man who constantly made me aware of those expectations."

~Why is he telling me this?~

My heart started to pound. But this time it was not because he was touching me. It was because he was opening up to me, for no reason other than I was his betrothed and he wanted to.

~No, I don't deserve for you to open up to me, Altan. I'm going to betray you. I'm going to run away from here. You shouldn't trust me.~

"I thought about running away many times." he said, "Surely, one of my younger brothers could become the next Duke. And I could live a life free of the responsibilities I hated."

We walked in silence for a bit after he said this. But the question I was trying to hold in found its way out anyway.

"Why didn't you?"

Altan didn't answer at first, and I noticed my feet had slowed as I was curious to hear his answer.

"There were many reasons." he finally said, "Although, the most prevailing was that I loved Kiziljer, it was my home... It's still my home. If I were to abandon the Dukedom, I would never be able to return."

I looked at my hands and thought about how I would never be able to return to my home. The thought was suddenly depressing. I would never see my house again, or my cat, I would never see my friends, and I would never eat at my favorite Pho restaurant again. I could understand why Altan would not want to abandon his home.

"Ironically," Altan continued as if he were realizing this for the first time as well. "Because I hated my responsibilities so much, and often sneaked away from the palace, I was able to see the city of Kiziljer in all its glory. Because of that, I fell in love with my home, and I chose to stay."

"So, if you hadn't sneaked out so many times back then, then you might not be the Duke today?" I asked.

"It is possible." then he looked above him and smiled. I followed his line of sight to a balcony that perched off the edge of the palace.

"That's how I used to escape." he said and nodded to the balcony.

My mouth dropped.

It was a small balcony that protruded from the palace but was likely only a few feet from the top of the palace walls. One could jump between the two spots if they were athletic enough. It was the perfect escape route. And I had walked right under it today multiple times.

I had never thought about using a balcony. I had also never imagined that, of all people, Altan would be the one that showed me how to escape.

"I would throw a rope with a heavy object at the other end over the wall." he went on, and I wondered if this was some kind of trick. Why would he tell me this? Does he really not suspect that I would attempt to run away? "And then I would climb over the wall." he smiled at his memories. "No one ever caught me."

~And no one will catch me either~