Lead and Letter

A scream erupts from my lips as I see him flying over the edge of the cliff.

~What the hell is he doing?~

I turn to rush for the cliffside, but stumble over my feet and Altan's guards catch me before I can faceplant into the dirt.

~Is he alright?~

I crane mu neck to see over the cliff, but I see nothing. He jumped with such confidence maybe he jumped onto something... surely he didn't just jump in order to die...

"Azul." Altan's voice sends my body into a frozen state and I stand like a statue in front of him.

~Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap...~

He approaches me and his eyes look like solid golden granite. His expression... I can't read it. Is he angry? Sad? Embarrassed?

~God, I don't know!~

He did just see me kissing another guy... But it's not like Altan should feel betrayed, right? I mean I had just told him last night that I want a loveless marriage.

~ARGHH~

Frustration hits me as we stare at each other in silence. I don't know if I should apologize, act like I did nothing wrong, or cheer that I somehow came out of this situation alive.... That all of us somehow came out of this situation alive.

Well, technically I don't know if Cai is alive... But I'm pretty sure he's not dead. The guy can fly using water, remember?

"I- I-" I begin, although I don't know what I plan to say.

Altan raises a hand to stop my muttering.

Then without a word, he takes me by my wrist, and guides me away from the cliffside. We walk through the forest silently and his soldiers walk behind us, their feet crackling the dead leaves underfoot.

I watch the back of Altan's head.

~He's angry... He's definitely angry.~

When we arrive back at camp, soldiers are already packing up for our commute. Altan leads me to a log that is beside a mostly-snuffed fire pit, and gestures for me to sit down. I watch him quietly as he crosses the camp, then returns with a bowl of porridge. He puts the bowl in my hands and I almost half expect him to lean down and begin feeding me like he's been doing the last few days. But today, he only stares at me with his amber eyes of stone.

I put a spoonful of the porridge in my mouth, it tastes worse that it should because of the tension lingering in the air. Altan is staring at me and I can't tell if it's in anger or in complete betrayal.

"How are you feeling today?" he finally asks, and the question catches me off guard.

~Oh right. I was sick all of yesterday.~

"I think I'm much better." I answer, then dare to meet his eyes. They're asking a far scarier question and I avert my gaze.

"Good." He says stiffly. "We're leaving in ten minutes, finish your food before we go." He turns to leave which surprises me again, he has barely left me alone since the moment he found me with the Earth Nomads. "Oh," He stops as if remembering something. "Don't ever wonder off by yourself again." He gives me a stern look that makes my stomach turn.

I didn't imagine that I could possibly make my situation worse... But I think I just did... Now the person who is forcing me to marry him hates me.

I drop my head into my hands when he leaves, and let my mind drift back to what just happened.

~I kissed Cai.... I can't believe I kissed him... I don't even like him like that... It just all happened so fast... And now I feel so dang guilty...~

Why do I feel so guilty though? It's not like I promised Altan I would love him. So WHY? WHY when I remember how he looked when he found me do I feel like ripping out my own heart and impaling it on a stick?

I shake my head, and try to rerout my train of thought. I wonder instead at how Cai jumped from that cliff with such confidence.

~I hope he's alright... Or maybe it's better if he's not... Maybe he won't come to kill me then.~

Just then, I remember the thing that Cai pushed into my hand. I had stuffed it into my pocket unthinkingly and completely forgot about it. I reach my hand into the deep pocket of my skirts and feel around until I come back with a tiny envelope.

I quickly look around the camp before I open it. They only people watching me are a couple of guards who seem too far away to care about what I'm doing.

I open the envelope and two things come out. One little object that looks sort of like a pill, and a tiny folded letter.

I open the letter and see a messy script that I assume is Cai's.

It reads this:

Azul,

as you have probably already realized, I have no desire to kill you. I have had many an opportunity already and can't seem to bring myself to do it. I hate to admit it, but it seems that I have come to care for you, and the idea of taking your life pains me. Even so, I know it is our duty to Pani Rastra to stop this marriage. I have enclosed in this envelope a small pill of poison. It will bring death quickly and easily. It is for you to take in order to stop this marriage. If you don't end your own life sometime before the night before your marriage, then I will end it for you.

I'm sorry it has come to this.

Yours,

Cai