Thanks and Memories

Dilera and Baths.

Those are the two things I'm thankful for. The hot tub filled with rose petals is reminiscent of my first night in this palace, but it's so warm and comforting that I almost want to cry.

Alright. Dilera, baths, and food.

Dinner was so freaking good. A whole roasted lamb leg served with couscous. My mouth began watering as soon as the meal was brought in. I can't remember the last time I ate so well. When I was traveling with Cai we basically ate like beggars, and in the Earth Nomad camp we ate curry for every meal, it was good, but I did start getting a little tired of it. And heaven knows I ate nothing in my short time as a slave. But now, I'm eating like royalty, and It's enough that I don't think I should ever leave this palace again.

Okay, I have another one.

Dilera, baths, food, and my bed.

~GOD!~

Was it always this soft? I feel like I'm laying on a cloud, it's so much better than sleeping on the ground and the soft cool covers wrap around me like a burrito of pure comfort.

~I could stay like this forever.~

..... And I guess I will, I'm getting married and then I'll live in this palace till I die.

The knowledge of that hits me so hard that suddenly the covers around me feel itchy.

Trapped.

I'm trapped again.

I turn on my side and look toward the balcony where I first met Cai. The doors to it have been barred shit since my return, and even though it's probably dangerous, I really wish to walk out there and get some fresh air.

The sky is growing dark already. Altan hasn't come by to say anything to me. It's basically been insane wedding preparations since the moment I arrived.

Tomorrow...

The wedding is tomorrow.

My eyes travel to the desk where the stupid pill is hidden in one of my decorative vases. I didn't want anyone to find it by accident, but throwing it away makes me just as nervous... what if a dog finds it in the trash and eats it?

There is no way in hell I'm taking that pill... But that means...

I sit up in bed and the covers pool around my waist.

That note, Cai said I had until the night before the wedding to end myself... But it's the night before the wedding right now.

My feet are out of the bed before I have time to tell them to get out.

~SHIT~

he's going to come and kill me tonight.

How the HELL could I forget something like that?

I rush to the doorway of my rooms and knock furiously despite that I'm already in my pajamas. Three guards are standing watch outside the door, but it doesn't make me feel any safer. Especially not, when I know that Cai can literally fly right onto my balcony and probably break down the door, or the fact that he's so sneaky he could be in the palace already.

No. there is only one place I can feel remotely safe... and that is beside Altan.

I pound on the door until the guards are opening it with worry-filled faces. "Is everything alright, M'lady?"

"Take me to His Grace, right now!" I say.

They look back and forth at each other. "But M'lady, we've been instructed to keep you safe within your rooms."

I shake my head, "well, I'm not safe here! If that Water Mage comes to kill me, my rooms will be the first place he goes, and he's already stolen me from this place once before! I want to feel safe the night before my wedding!" I yell, "Now take me to Altan this instant!" Altan's name slips past my lips by accident, my fear is making me talk wildly, but I really don't think I could stand being alone in that room all night waiting for death to arrive.

"y-Yes, M'lady!" One of the guards breaks before the other two do, and the others stare at him.

"It's wise of you." I elaborate, "if something were to happen to me while you were on guard, I assume you'd be the ones in trouble for it.

They each exchange another look before falling into a formation to escort me somewhere. To my surprise, they only escort me across the hallway, Altan is already in his bed chambers.

I clear my throat awkwardly when we arrive. I consider knocking, but then decide to just keep up the wild act and swing the doors open. My feet halt after I enter the room and the guards outside the doors stumble to close them after me.

Altan isn't just already in his bed chambers. He's already in bed. He's lying on top of the covers, without a shirt, and he's fast asleep. Apparently, my barging into the room didn't wake him. I see his tan chest moving up and down slowly and I hear his deep breathing.

~he must be exhausted~ I realize. He rode all through the night to get us here faster.

I look around the room, it's not quite as I remember it. It's darker with the lights off, and it seems so large.

My last memory of this place....

I swallow and my cheeks heat.

I'll never be able to forget that night when Altan was intoxicated. And I'll never not feel shy about it... the way he touched me... the way he spoke to me... Even thinking about it now sends a warmth resonating through my belly and even lower...

I take a few steps through the room. The sound of my slippers on the marble making clicking sounds as I approach a sleeping Altan.

I don't want to, but I need to wake him.

I should have told him about Cai's note and threat the moment I received the letter. But there was so much awkward tension between us, that I never did.

~Well, better late than never.~

Altan's bed is so large that I can't reach his sleeping form from the side. I find myself crawling onto the mattress to get closer to him. "Altan..." I whisper, and then I nearly slap my hand over my mouth.

~Why do I keep slipping with his name?~

The last time I called him by his name to his face...

My mind again flashes to the last time I was on this bed.

~"I like that Azul, I like when you call my name"~

Shit.

My whole face burns red. It was as if I could hear him whispering those words to me again. An unwelcome ache starts between my legs and I ignore my stupid body.

~Now is really not the time to be getting it on~

I turn back to the task at hand, "Your Grace." I say louder, and Altan rouses. I touch his shoulder, and his eyes open slowly. They meet mine through the darkness in the room, and his eyes are like twin fires glowing in the night.

~God, why does he have to be so freaking beautiful? If he were ugly, this would be so much easier.~

"Azul." He whispers my name, but he sounds like he's half asleep, "What are you doing here?"

I swallow at the question. "I- I'm scared," I say honestly

Altan rubs the sleep from his eyes. "what?"

"He's coming to kill me." I elaborate, "He promised he would kill before the wedding."