I try to swallow, but my throat is like sandpaper.
I feel my heart beating in my chest so vehemently that It feels like my entire body pulses with each pump. my fingers twitch nervously against the fabric of my dress and my knees are locked so tightly that I'm probably at risk of fainting.
My breaths are shallow and my eyes dart at every movement around me.
I feel more afraid now than I did when I was attacking a Water Mage that had intent to kill.
"You need to breathe, M'lady." I hear Dilera say, but it's so quiet compared to the roaring behind my ears.
Amah went through the order-of-events of the ceremony with me in great detail. But I still don't feel prepared.
I'm ushered to a pair of double doors that I know lead to the Great Ball Room, the largest room in the whole palace.
I bouquet of chamomile flowers is placed in my hands and I try to let the smell of the flowers comfort me, but it's not working.
~I'm about to get married... To a Duke... in a different world or maybe dimension than where I was born. MARRIED TO A DUKE! if I told that to my mother she would have laughed out loud at me. My parent's owned a Pho restaurant, and even though business was good, we never made enough that it was thought that I could marry royalty...~
"Azul." I hear Altan's voice beside me rain down like a warm blanket. I turn to see his handsome face, the scruff around his chin has been shaved clean, and his hair is styled away from his face, he's wearing an outfit of black and red with gold embroidering along the cuffs and collar, and damn, he looks good.
Instantaneously, the roaring in my ears cease, and my fidgeting hands slow. For a brief second, when our eyes meet, it's like the whole world stops. Silence fills the space around us, and when Altan takes one of my cold hands in his, the warmth from him travels up my arm and envelops me.
"You look divine." He says to me, and his voice reminds me of sitting beside a warm fireplace, reading a book, while snow falls outside.
"You- uh..." Of course, the sound of my voice is childish and awkward next to his, "You look really pretty too."
Altan blinks, "Pretty?" a small laugh bubbles up in him, and I realize what I said. Altan is a lot of things but I'm not sure if pretty is one of them, he's just so much masculine-beauty and strong-lines.
"Oh- I erm, I mean." I stutter.
"If pretty is what you want from me." he squeezes my hand and another rush of warmth and comfort clenches my heart, "Then, I will be pretty for you."
I find myself laughing despite everything. But I stop when I hear music escape from under the doors in front of us.
"It's time." Altan says, and releases a slow breath.
~It's time.... there is literally no going back now.~
The doors in front of us swing open.
my senses are immediately bombarded. The smell of chamomile wafts toward me as the whole room is decorated with the flower, my ears are filled with the sound of some kind of string instrument that definitely doesn't exist on earth, but it reminds me a little bit of a cello, and I see....
~Dear God... I mean, Vohan~
I didn't even know if this many people lived in this world.
The entire ballroom is filled with people, it seems like every inch of the room is standing packed in. I see the reds and oranges of Ot Ulut, I see the browns and greens of Earth Nomads, and the purples and pinks of Wind Mages. The only blue in the whole room is my own dress. The sole representative of Pani Rastra... A place I have never been to.
Any sense of calm I had a bit ago is washed away again. Because every one of them; every single human in the room, is looking at me.
My body freezes up, and only Altan's soft whisper in my ear seems to thaw the ice I'm made of. "they're staring because you are the most beautiful duchess they've ever seen."
I gulp.
~That's probably a lie, although I admit I'm pretty hot.~
Altan takes a step forward, and my shaky legs follow him.
In weddings on earth, walking down the aisle is usually a straight path. And I'm not certain what is tradition in this world, but Altan leads me in a giant circle around the whole room, as if showing off to the whole ballroom the Water Mage fiance he snagged, then we slowly starts spiraling toward the center of the room effectively making another circle around the room before arriving at a circular dais in the middle of the room.
The only sound as we go is the music and my shaky breathing. I occasionally hear a whisper as we go by. I hear people saying things like: "I can't believe he did it." "will the war really end after this?" "She IS beautiful." "Did you hear she was almost murdered just last night? brave girl."
"Almost there," Altan says to me, and his voice is a steady rock in a turbulent ocean. He helps me step onto the dais. Where a priest awaits our arrival. He's wearing all black with tassels of red and orange hanging over his shoulders. He smiles at both of us, and I wonder if it's Rayana's husband, she said she was married to a priest. He does seem young for a priest.
"Let us Praise Vohan and Jala for allowing this union!" he calls, and the entire room erupts with applause and cheering.
it's then that I realize this is much more than just a wedding. This is the end of an age-old war. And I'm a part of it.