Baking As a Stress Relief

After class I decide to head to the football field, I do not usually go when they are training but today I am curious to know what happened with Ian and Michelle.

When I reach the field, I spot James warming up, so I wave at him, and he comes running at me.

"That's a surprise!" He hugs me rapidly.

He's huge, he's at least three inches taller than me but with his equipment, he seems even bigger.

"I just wanted to check up on you before I head home."

I've run through my mind a couple of excuses I could come up with but then opted for the simplest one.

"That's sweet," he kisses me on the cheek "I told you you'll get your double date." He winks motioning to the other side of the field.

Ian and Michelle were kissing by the bleachers, and they seemed perfectly fine. Part of me, a huge one, wished that they would not make up, I do not know what I would have done in that case, but it would have taken one thing off my mind.

"Do you want to join them and maybe we can suggest that double date thing again?" He seemed eager for the idea but now all excitement vanished away from me.

I nod half-heartedly not wanting to arise any questions and we head to them.

"Hey there lovebirds!" James announces as we reach them, and they separate but do not let go of each other.

"Hey you two!" Michelle smiles at us and I smile back hoping it does not show how fake it is.

"I've got to actually thank you, Nicki, if you didn't bring up the double date, I wouldn't have had the pleasure to have Ian asking me to be officially his girlfriend." She smiles at me kindly then leans into him kissing him on the cheek.

That's sweet but I want to throw up, my plan backfired on me, how nice can this be!

"Actually, I have to go, I've got something to do." I announce letting go of James' hand, I usually kiss him on the cheek each time I would be leaving but right now I just want to get out of here.

"Nicki wait!" Ian calls me back, stopping me by holding my hand.

I stop right on my track; he gets closer to me still holding my hand and I feel like time froze. My mind races with different scenarios and I could swear I can hear my heart thumping in my chest.

Could this finally be it?

I look at James and Michelle and they seem to be waiting for what is going to happen just like me. When I look back at Ian, he seems confused, his eyes keep diverting from mine and he is swallowing hard.

After a few seconds that felt like hours, he lets go of my hand and I realize that nothing is going to change.

"I just wanted to talk to you about our project,..." He rubs the back of his head probably noticing the tension he created.

"You can text me later and we'll decide when to meet up." A huge feeling of deception envelops me, and I just want to leave.

"I actually don't have your phone number." He is awkward, I can tell by the way he is avoiding my gaze and cracking his knuckles.

"James can give it to you, I'm really in a hurry." And just like that, I leave without a second glance back.

I know I probably made things more awkward, but I could not think straight. Today I was the reason for making them an official couple as she said, the one thing I was dreading this whole time.

I spend the rest of the evening in my room, being a total drama queen until my mom calls me down for dinner.

I seriously do not know what I was waiting for, I am conscious that I am acting as if James and Michelle are the only ones standing between us as if he is head over heels for me when I do not even know what he feels towards me. That night might mean nothing to him even though it meant everything to me, something that I have been waiting for for so long without even realizing it.

I finally decide that moping over something I never had would not make any difference, so I change into an oversized hoodie of Carl's university and a pair of tight black leggings before I head to Mark's house.

"Hey! Didn't know you'd be coming." He comments as he opens the door.

"Actually I'm not here to see you, is Luciana here?" I ask as I pass the door, I will chat with him later but right now I just need a distraction.

"Really nice! She's in the living room but is everything okay?" He follows behind me, but I just shrug him off.

"Yeah," I find her sitting on the sofa with her laptop on her lap "Hi!" I greet her as I flop beside her.

"Hello!" She kisses me on the cheek then turns back to her laptop, she's writing some kind of recipe, probably something new she's trying out for her bakery "how are you doing?"

"I'm fine, actually do you have some free time? Do you want to bake something?"

Luciana used to always bake us cookies and brownies as we were growing up and slowly I fell in love with her kitchen, there's something about the way she arranges it and how she always has everything necessary for whatever sweet you're craving that is just so comforting.

I love coming over whenever I'm overwhelmed and she'd give me one of her amazing recipes and we'd bake, she makes everything fun and we'd always end up with the best pastries, and sugar never fails to relax me.

We opt for choux this time and it takes us around 2 hours to finish baking and filling them with cream.

After we finish cleaning and arranging the kitchen she goes off to check on Luna while I take a full plate of choux and go out to the kitchen after calling Max to join me.

We sit on the swing, savoring the sweetness we made and it does its job relaxing me.

"So what's up?" He finally asks and I know he has been waiting for an opportunity to ask me this.

"Nothing, just a bad day I think." I shrug it off knowing that I've been overreacting all evening.

"Are you sure? You know you can tell me anything, did James do anything?"

"No, of course not, he has actually been really sweet and caring, I'm surprised myself."

"Well, that's something new!"

Just then my phone starts to ring, and James' name shows up on my phone.

"Hey!" I unconsciously smile, he calls each night to check up on me.

"Hi, is everything alright? I've been texting you all evening and I got worried when you didn't answer.."

I look at my phone and see a texts notification.

"I didn't actually notice them." I say apologetically.

"Actually, I'm outside your house if you want to come out." He sometimes sounds so insecure that it makes me feel guilty.

"Okay, I'm at Mark's but I'll join you in a minute."

"Okay, I'll be waiting." He says before hanging up.

I look at Mark who is suspiciously interested in the plate of choux in his hands.

"I have to go." I announce getting up.

"So soon?" He is like an open book, he surely overheard our conversation.

"Yeah, James came over and he's waiting for me."

"Okay then, see you tomorrow."

I head to the kitchen and take out a box to fill it with some choux. I find Luciana back in the living room and I kiss her goodnight before leaving.

I find James sitting in his car, he is playing with his phone when I open the door and get in.

"Hey!" He smiles at me leaning over to kiss me.

I kiss him back buckling up.

"Do you want to take us on a ride? I brought some pastries." I show him the box in my hand.

"Sure," he buckles up and starts the engine "so did you make these yourself?"

"I had some help from Max's mom." I am not sure if he knows her name or if he has ever been over to their house.

"You two seem pretty close." A little jealousy starts to show, and I cannot help but smile.

"Yeah, we've been friends since forever."

"He seems overprotective." He comments probably remembering that day when he threatened him.

"He likes to play the role of a big brother, anyway, let's enjoy these," I open the box taking out a piece "do you have a problem with eating in the car?" I ask knowing that some would hate this.

"No, go ahead!"

He's still driving so I hand him one that he eats at once.

"That's actually so good!" He says with his mouth half full.

A bit of cream stains his lips which I wipe with my finger before licking it. He looks at me with big eyes which makes me realize what I just did.

"Were you doubting my skills?" I ask trying to divert his attention from me.

He looks at me with even bigger eyes and a laugh almost escapes my lips, I did not mean that questions in any sexual way.

"I meant the choux, my baking skills." I try to hide my smile but the red rising to his ears didn't help.

"Oh," he says as realization hits him "I just didn't know you were this good."

We spend a couple of hours just driving and enjoying the pastries before he drops me back at my house.

Thankfully my parents don't question where I've been, and I head directly to bed.