Chapter 11

Harold

Everything I said meant nothing. Every word I spoke was rubbish and had no meaning, no actual meaning to them. I had no intention to make you cry. I could never make you cry. How can I make my own heart cry? You have had my heart ever since I saw you. You have been inside my heart.

Everything inside me has been broken. I was dying every moment. The more I heard you speak inside your heart, the more of me crashed down. The moment those words left my lips and you ran away to your room, I swear I would have done anything to reverse that exact moment.

"You have no say in this Roseanne. You shouldn't cross your limits."

It was me who crossed limits. It was my fault. You are a part of me and my family, our family.

It had been almost a year Ida had been lost, declared dead I say. Her whereabouts were known only for some weeks, dare I say it hadn't even been months and on top of that she was pregnant, with twins. My nephew and neice. It wasn't Roseanne's fault that she thought I knew. She had her plates full, has her plates full but I instead I just accused her for everything when she had no idea what was going on.

Suddenly, all of a sudden I found my mate and I hear about Ida. Both of them are equal to me, I won't just abandon Roseanne just because my lost sister was found but I did. She thinks everything happened because of her. She thinks if she wasn't cursed, her parents wouldn't have abandoned, pretend to abandon her.

I can hear Roseanne and she was accusing herself for everything when it was me who pushed her to the edge. She kept saying she deserves this, she deserves this when I wanted to shout.... no you don't. You don't deserve any of this. This isn't your fault, you did nothing wrong. She did nothing wrong. I was wrong. I was frustrated, I had to take out my anger, not vent upon you. I feel pathetic but I made you feel worthless. I ruined something so pure and beautiful.

We were developing our relationship and getting to know each other in the process. What if she don't want to sort this out with me? She can't dislike me for this, can she? She can.

I need to try harder, whatever it takes to make her understand, talk with me. I will try with everything I have, I won't let her feel as if she means nothing. I, not only talked harshly with her but I also family failed my family.

While you were crying, I wanted to take you in my embrace. I wanted you to let it all out and lash out at me. I wanted you to feel good if even I was the reason for your tears. I wanted to be the reason you smile, again. I still want to, more than anything I have ever wanted.

You even felt sick. Your voice was hoarse and you were burning up but you didn't let anyone know why. Even if they did. You still thought about Ida. I didn't even ask if you were fine. How could you? I cannot even look in the eyes. Your eyes were searching for me when you came downstairs. I had to run, run away. I had to throw everything up.

I couldn't trust Charlotte. I have my reasons. She cannot be trusted. I could be wrong but I can be seen as someone rude than let you go through consequences in the future. Even if Charlotte did help us, there has to be something she's upto. It's not like witches can be trusted, some can't be.

You looked so pale in the hospital. It looked like you would pass out any moment. But all you were just worrying over me and my family, you lied about eating icecream and getting sick- when infact I made you ill, both body and heart. You didn't bother us because all of us were worrying over Ida. You thought pathetically about yourself when I made you that way.

When you asked why wasn't I happy, I wanted to say because you're not happy. But that doesn't the fact that I was at fault, does it? Nothing changes anything but I must try harder, with everything I have. What do I do when all I've got is you? I wish you could hear me as well, how disgusted I am with myself. How can I be so selfish? I just want you to hear me so that you can feel what I want you to? I cannot make this easier when I, myself made it difficult for me.

I need to make you believe that nothing is going to fall apart. I won't let you feel apart. You and I, both will make our lives beautiful. I will make you believe that you still deserve everything. Yes, you deserve everything in life. You will be able to watch Ida's babies grow up. They'll love you equally. I will love you equally.

I love you. I love you? Of course I do. I love you.

I want to shout how much I love you. I will take everything slow. I won't force you into anything. I won't shout at you or talk harshly with you.

You now know, that I have been waiting for you all this time. Why do they have big mouths? My sisters have bigger mouth than their brain can handle. Will anything make difference just because you know you are my first? First everything. Will you feel special? Does that make anything special? Even if it does, that doesn't change anything.

I miss you. I miss everything. Its just been some hours and I already miss your chuckles. I miss how red you get. I miss your glares and eye rolls.

You wanted to leave when all of us got busy with Ida. There was something in your eyes and it adoration. For us. I wanted to make you stay but I lost the chance. How could I make you stay when I made environment for you to leave?

You even made excuses for me when I, myself didn't care for it. You thought, perhaps I didn't mean them. You were right. I didn't mean them. You defended me when my sisters were mad at me. You infact had to be angry with me but instead you choose to protect me. You understood my situation when I declined to. You knew it was because I was upset and worried for Ida, I couldn't think straight. You know me so well yet I lashed at you.

I want to tell how important you are to me. I want to see the blush on your cheeks. I want to be reason. I want you be the reason why I smile and zone out. I can zone out for you, all the time. Thinking of you. I don't want you to feel useless and unworthy. I want you to feel worthy of love. I don't even give a damn if you can't transform into your wolf form. Nothing matters than you. I don't want you to feel inferior. You own my heart. You are nothing compared to those silly things. I would rather want to be silly and see you happy. I love you.

The night went fine. Just thinking about Roseanne. At early in the morning, I didn't notice when I fell asleep. I heard something, someone else talking inside the room. A male voice. Who was it? I rushed inside. Owen Allen.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" I snapped at him.

"Wow Harold calm down." Owen said, in his usual cool tone, which I hate by the way.

"Why is he here?" I asked looking at Ida. Did she call him? Were they in contact the whole time? Did Roseanne call him? But I should've known if it was her. I would have heard her.

But you slept. My wolfie said. I heard them talking. Ida invited him. Great.

"I called him." Ida said casually.

I glared at her.

"What?" She asked, irritated. Clearly I'm more annoyed than her.

"After what he did?" I asked her.

"Well, we don't know that yet." She said.

"That doesn't clarifies he didn't." I said, crossing my hands.

"Seriously Harold? You are arguing with me on this?" Ida spoke.

"Ida... I am not arguing with you. Its just I am scared. I care for you. I don't want you lost, from this hospital bed. I want you to go home with me. Your home. You have no idea how we dealt with everything all these months. Everything was miserable and I was miserable. If it wasn't for Roseanne I-". I saw Roseanne just enter the room. She wasn't here?

"Its just that I can't trust Owen again. He needs to prove he didn't do it. And I know what your mate means, noone knows it better than me." I said. I continued," I am to stay if Owen's with you. If not me, our family will stay with you. You can't be alone."

Ida nodded. I looked at Roseanne. She shifted her gaze from me. I sat on sofa to let Ida and Owen talk.

"How are you?" Owen asked, sitting beside Ida.

"I'm good. How are you doing?" Ida spoke, her voice softer than butter. Her expressions spoke louder. She shined. It was beautiful. It was because Owen was present here. Her mate.

"How are the babies?" Owen spoke.

"Babies are just babies. They are fine and sound. Healthy as well." Ida sounded better than yesterday.

"Are they min-... I mean ou--" Ida interrupted Owen.

"They are." Ida completed. She had tears in her eyes. She was happy. I can tell when she's. I am glad she is feeling happy.

I never expected this from Owen. He was crying? Owen was crying. I looked at Ashley and she was stunned as well. Well we all were. Roseanne looked like her eyes would pop out any second. Perhaps he didn't do it?

"Are you crying?" Ida asked, surprised.

"Can I see them?" Owen spoke.

"They are being cleaned and checked-up." Ida replied.

"Umm.. I should go." Roseanne spoke out of nowhere.

"Is Marcus here?" Ashley said.

"He'll be here in 10 minutes. He said he can't come up. He needs to rush somewhere else. Pack works." She said.

"I can get you then. I mean if Marcus has to rush somewhere." I spoke. Finally. Gathering my courage.

"No." Roseanne shouted. She cleared her voice. "I mean I have some business with Marcus so-" I interrupted her.

"You can go with us. I mean aren't you going home?"

"I am going home... where my parents live. I want to visit them. I also want to meet Marcus's mate." Roseanne said, ignoring my eye contact.

"You should visit them." Ashley spoke. Her big mouth. I glared at her.

"Stop glaring at me." Ashley rolled her eyes.

"Uhmm... Roseanne I-" Owen was going to say something but Roseanne interrupted him.

"Its okay Owen. You don't have to say anything. I understand. We can talk about it later. You should stay with Ida here."

Roseanne spoke assuringly.

"Thank you." Owen thanked her.

I think I can guess what he's talking about. He kind of showed like he cared for Roseanne. I don't know if it's romantically or as in friend type of care. Owen really loved Ida. I think.... I hope he still does because she for well as hell does love him. Alot.

Anyways, Roseanne's going to her parents. What do I tell her? Do I ask her when will she be back? Do I talk with her alone right now?

"I should leave. I'll see you guys at home." Roseanne said. She hugged Ashley and Owen.

"And you, take care of yourself and your babies." Roseanne said hugging her and kissed her cheeks.

Do something Harold. Do something dammit. She's going. She's leaving. Roseanne opened the door and went outside. Fuck. I can't even hear her thoughts.

"I'll be back. Ashley, don't leave them alone." I said going outside.

Roseanne just crossed the corridor..I ran without thinking, grabbed her and pulled her.......

Hieiiiiiiii and bieeeee