Ten: Conflicted

When I woke up it was half past five. Emma would be calling me soon for dinner. Oggy glanced up and went towards the bed. I stroked his ears absently, he licked my hand sat back on the floor.

I was still feeling nostalgic about the dream. It didn't include Lucian but it felt real too. The water, the wind and the murder that I've witnessed. I closed my eyes, I kept seeing her lifeless body staring at the sky. I saw she had brown eyes, like me. That's probably why Lucian came to me, I reminded her of his dead lover.

My cellphone rang, no caller ID. "Hello?"

"Have you thought about my offer?"

"Uhhh.. who is this?"

"Its Enzo," I could picture him smiling while his arms are around another girl, "Look, I know you're not in school so you can't use the swimming practice as an excuse not to talk to me."

I groaned inwardly. The jerk! "I don't need excuses Enzo, I already said no. In case you forgot."

"Hey, so far as I know we didn't finish our conversation. I had to get you to Mrs. Kirkland."

"And thank you for making me late." He's totally getting on my nerves.

"I'll make it up to you. Say, do you prefer we talk in private? I know a good café—"

"—bugger off Enzo. I said no!" I snapped the phone shut and hoped it rang painfully on his end, gosh... I wished he called on the landline so I could slam the shit out of him.

Oggy watched me with his beautiful eyes, wonder what he'll say about my dating choices. A campus heartprob and a plain looking swimmer. Not a very good combination. But hey, I don't want to grovel at his feet for actually asking me out. He obviously didn't mean it. I was just at the wrong place at the wrong time. Yeah, like I should know. Everyone knows I never went out with anybody before, Oggy would probably tell Enzo the same thing.

"You would, wouldn't you buddy?" Oggy thumped his tail as if he understood me.

My cell rang again, still no caller ID. "Stop calling me Enzo."

"Krista? Its Tristane.."

I almost choked with my own saliva. "Hey, um... what's up?"

"Nothing much," he paused before adding, "who's Enzo?"

I rolled my eyes twice. Is this the national guy-hits-on-random-girl day? Why am I suddenly getting involved in guys? Literally more than one in a span of one week?

"A schoolmate." Less is better. Besides, I don't really owe Tristane an explanation.

"I see.." but his voice sounded the opposite. "Listen, I uh, I think I found something about the Baron's case. I plan to bring it over to your Dad but he and Louie are in town for several days. I think I'll just wait till you come back."

Whatever did Tristane find? I was dying to know, but if its something he needs to show us, it'll be better if we can all speak in person.

"I think I can make it there friday afternoon." I went over to my table and checked the calendar, my friday afternoons usually are free. Teachers let us go at 3, then I join the practice for an hour and head home. "Scratch that, I might be there at nightfall."

"Busy at school?" He sounded so casual, it should have been cute. Like he actually cared about what I do. But I was annoyed somewhat.

"Yeah.. gotta spend more time at practice, but coach never holds us more than an hour. I can catch a 5 o'clock flight."

"Sounds great! I guess I'll see you then."

"Yeah, okay.." whatever, "we'll call you once we're back at the house."

"See you. Bye.." I waited till the line went dead to make sure he was gone. Then I groaned in frustration.

"I shouldn't have kissed him!" I covered my eyes with my arm, "Now he thinks I'm his girlfriend! Ugggghhh!!"

I kicked my pillows and blankets until the sheets tangled my legs. It fuelled my frustration more. I began rolling on the bed, pushing anything I could get my hands on. All the pillows lay on the floor now. I looked around, determined to thrash my room. The huge teddy bear wasn't spared, I grabbed it head and threw it across the room. It bounced off the door.

"Did I interrupt something?" Emma's voice came into the room.

I sat up, "Nothing." I combed my hair using my fingers, it was a mess. "I was just, uh, stretching to keep my muscles healthy."

She eyed me carefully, I saw concern on her eyes, "You wanna talk about it sweetie?"

I liked it when she calls me with the same endearment my parents called me. Her voice was just the softest and sweetest I've ever heard. If someone could help me, it'll be Emma.

"Emma, what am I gonna do?"

She pushed the door open and let her self in. I caught the wonderful scent of cookies on her. "Do about what? What's caused this?" She gestured towards the mess. "Wait, don't tell me. Is it boys?"

I groaned loudly this time and sank into the messy bed. "I'm doomed!"

Emma sat at the foot of my bed, "My, my. I think we got ourselves a dilemma." She picked up the pillows and piled them on me, I didn't mind. They're soft and light. What's getting me crushed is the problem.

"I'm in a ditch, Emma." I reached out a hand upwards, "A very deep ditch, I even dug it myself."

She took my outstretched hand and stared at me, "Who was it?"

She knew most of the boys in my school, having grown all her life in Richmond gave her the advantage.

"Them.." I managed to sat back up without help, "there's three of them."

Her deep blue eyes widened in shock, "Three's a lot don't you think?" She squeezed my hand, "And you can't decide which one you like?"

"I hate one of them, so clearly he's out of the picture. Just annoys me once in a while." That meant Enzo, "He's boastful, lazy and so full of himself. Thinks all the girls would just drop everything to date him. He's a jerk!"

"He must be really cute."

"If you call a perfectly square face with a perfectly pointed nose and deep brown eyes, cherry red lips plus dimples on each cheek cute."

Emma's hand came to her chest, "My, sounds like a player." She knew how I loathed the looks department, I always look beyond a person's personality.

"You bet! A player and a jerk!"

"Now, now Krista. What did this guy do to garner such hate from you?"

"He asked me out on a date!" I saw her raise her brow, so I continued, "while he was wet from swimming. Wearing only those skimpy swimming trunks, he didn't even bother with a towel. He thinks he can just walk around as if he owned the place."

"It doesn't sound so bad, in fact, I am feeling that he's alluring you," Emma stared directly at me, face serious, "with his looks. Which is totally normal for someone who possesses such charms. There's no need to panic Krista. Dates can be fun, not scary."

"Oh Emma," I fell on her lap, she stroked my hair, "its not that I'm scared to go on a date. I want to be on a date. In fact I'd kill for a date right now."

"But?"

"But, that guy is nuts! I turned him down politely and he kept insisting we meet in private. He doesn't even like brunettes, I always saw him with blondes. He's got the nerve to call me if I've changed my mind. I told him to bugger off."

I felt Emma sighed, "Okay, I think I understand. Pretty boy is out of the list." She peered down on me, "tell me about the other two. What's the second guy like?"

"Oh him. Ahm, he's a" I pondered a little, that'll be Tristane, "is a problem. A huuuge, problem Emma."

"In the looks department too?"

"No, no.. he looks fine, mature and lean. Its a with the, ahm, the Emotional section."

"I thought you said he was mature?"

"Looks mature. Not sure about his age, maybe early twenties."

"And you are?" She asked not because she didn't know, but because she wanted to point out I was still underage. "Seventeen.. going eighteen."

"Yeah. I'm not sure he knows that. Cuz I uh, I sort of him kissed back."

"What?" Emma almost threw me off the bed, my legs landed on the floor and saved me from falling. "Who is this man? Tell me young lady."

"Emma, I thought you're gonna help me."

"I will have to decide whatever comes out of your mouth." Her voice was obviously irritated now, my face must've been truly miserable because she smoothened back up, "But I won't tell you father."

I exhaled with relief, "Thanks." I climbed back on the bed and she gathered her legs minus the shoe then sat like she was an Indian chieftain. We looked like girls preparing for sleepover.

"Its not Louie is it?"

"No, no.." I shook my head furiously, "Louie's a friend. He's a flirt but nothing more." Gosh, I'm just so bad at this. "He's name's Tristane. Tristane Kelly."

"I don't know any Kelly's in town. Is he new around here?"

"No. He's from Winter Falls, a town where Dad is currently staying."

"You met this young man last weekend only," huge emphasis on 'only', "and you've kissed him back?" I was nodding, "Did he forced himself on you?"

"Gosh no." I paled, "He, approached me carefully. At that time it was like..there was connection, an understanding between us. I couldn't break from his gaze. He was really gentle." I omitted that we were pawing at each other while in a tight embrace, no need to include that. Oh, and no mention of the attic incident. Yikes.

"Are you atttacted to him, to Tristane?"

"I'm not sure. I don't know Emma. I never thought about it. I never looked at him that way." I clutched a pillow, "Yet I kissed him back. I feel terrible."

"Don't be. What you did was pure impulse, it happens. You can talk to him again, clarify that there's no deep stirring within you. And if he is truly matured, he'll understand."

"I suppose. He seems like a really nice guy." I feel horrible just thinking that I'll be saying it at his face, Tristane didn't do anything to offend me. "But now he's acting like I'm his girlfriend. He's jealous of a schoolmate."

"Really?" Emma scrubbed her jaw, "He must be thinking you and him have an understanding after what happened. I suggest you bring this all out in the open, tell him how you feel. It may hurt him, no, it would hurt him. But its better than leading him on for nothing."

I sighed, this is going to be a difficult weekend. Emma was right, I should tell him. I don't want to be Tristane's girlfriend. I enjoyed his kisses but that was it. I'll do it. I smiled at Emma.

"I guess that settles the mature guy problem." Emma puffed and bounced a little on the bed, "What about the third guy?"

I searched her eyes and we locked our gazes. I was thinking of him. I pictured his long black hair, thick dark brows and midnight blue eyes. The man who came into my dreams, as a friend, a companion and lately—a lover. His voice played again and again in head. He was a man who came from a time when the world was fresh. A man of noble of birth. An aristocrat. A proud Baron. From a very long, long time ago. Presumed dead after disappearing. Thought to be just a ghost. My paramour. My beautiful Lucian.

"Oh Emma, he's the one I love." I said to her. And I meant it.