Chapter 11 Latibule

When I say the two words "loving someone" your first thought is someone else. You always put yourself second, you do this for everything. So what is it gonna take to put yourself first?

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He was playing with her hair.

After Gilbert had fallen asleep next to Merliah, the night went on. The stars watching them as their guardian angels. Each star represented a family member who was always with him, at least that was Gilbert's comforting thought. As the dark sky moved on, slowly but surely it became morning. Gilbert knew school must have already began by the way the sky looked. Although he did not want to wake up the sleeping brunette. So he laid there, playing with her hair as her head was peacefully placed in his lap.

She seems so peaceful and happy when she sleeps, like an angel. He thought.

Gilbert knew that soon he would have to wake the sleeping princess, he had to get back to his father and attend to him. Gilbert decided he was not going to school anymore, his father was too sick for him to leave. He was afraid if he was at school one day or another his grandfather would-

No..stop. He scolded himself.

He shook those negative thoughts out of his head once more and decided to wake up Merliah, knowing Eliza would be in a fret if she did not know where she was any longer.

"Merliah.." He spoke, gently rubbing circles on her back. The girl replied by cuddling closer to him. He made a mental note that it was the cutest thing she has ever done, and that he in fact loved it.

"Merliah, it's time to get up.." Gilbert spoke again. He watched as the brunette slowly fluttered her eyes open. She turned her head in his lap to look up at the curly headed boy. "You're beautiful." She said, her tone being simple, she continued to watch him as a rose tint began to spread across his cheeks.

She sat up and ran her fingers through her hair, although it was useless since the wind was persistent in blowing her hair around. Her hands dropped back to her sides, her gaze traveled to the sea blue ocean. As the sky had decided to paint itself many clouds and perfect light blue skies. She admired it.

"Do you want to come over? I mean - to keep my father and I company. I am sure he would love to see you again." Gilbert said as he watched her, his voice laced with nervousness. Although in response the girl just sighed. "I would love to. You know I would, but if Eliza sees me gone for any longer I am sure she would have my head.." Merliah responded with a stifled laugh.

Gilbert smiled to her response.

He stood up from where he was sitting, wiping any dirt that may have uninvited itself onto his clothing. Merliah, who was still watching the sea.

The brown eyed boy lent his hand down to the brunette, she turned to look at him and gently smiled. She placed her hand into his own as he lifted her up.

"Thanks Gil.." Merliah spoke, and Gilbert nodded to her.

They began walking back to De L'heure, as Gilbert wanted to walk Merliah home. They did not talk halfway through the walk. As they trudged on, the frost that secretly hid under the markings of their shoes. Their feet grazing against the leafs that laid against the ground. The leafs that once lived in they're homes up in the trees; now lost and scattered across the ground, just to be stomped on. Gilbert took in the sight of the trees, most of the leaves have fallen off the trees. With only some orange and greenish leaves left on the branches. A cold chill flowing through the forest as they walk.

Screw it.

Merliah took Gilbert's hand into her own, and they intertwined their fingers. Gilbert turned to look at the brunette as she was looking at their hands. They both stopped walking. Merliah than pulled her gaze up to the boy that was watching her ever so carefully. Gilbert did not know what to say.

So he didn't. He took her cheek into the palm of his left hand, she leaned her face into his soft touch, closing her eyes for a moment before looking back up to him. She lifted her free hand and placed it against his on her cheek.

Gilbert took a step closer to Merliah, starting to decrease the space between them. "Gil..." She began, but he cut her off with his soft lips pressed against hers. Merliah was shocked, but she did not pull away.

She knew this would probably be the only time she would ever be able to kiss him. So she kissed him back, placing her hand against the back of his neck to pull him closer.

His hands wrapping around her waist.

Gilbert pulled away after a moment, they both caught a quick breath. He gently kissed her on her forehead, than leaned his head against hers. "I want you to know, that - even though you have been treated very badly, that I would never do anything to hurt you.." He spoke. Merliah looked up at him, she smiled at the thought of Gilbert.

But than she pulled herself out of his grasp.

"Oh my god! Ida, oh poor Ida what have I done?! Oh this is such a basic bitch move!" She said in a regretful tone.

Gilbert stood there, his arms empty of the only girl he's ever loved. His eyes; confused and hurt, than it hit him too. He knew Ida had liked him, and he did like Ida. Well.. used to, once Merliah had entered his life he knew that Merliah would be the one.

"I don't care." He said. His voice showing determination and no regret for what happened. Causing Merliah to turn around, her expression showing that she thought he was crazy.

"Look, I- I know I liked Ida before, but it's different. I didn't know you than, and I know that if I had a second chance I would fall in love with you again. I love you and I know it's going to hurt Ida but she is so much better off without me. I-" Gilbert's voice cracked. "I belong with you Merliah. I just, I know I do." He finished. Merliah standing there, watching and taking in every word he just said. Her heart felt happy? Although her mind knew that not everything is what it seems.

"You - no. You'll leave me. Or find someone better. Why put myself through that? This is not some fairytale that some thirteen year old wrote, life does not have a happily ever after." She said as she tore her gaze away from Gilbert, her eyes beginning to water.

"That's not true-" "How do you know!" Merliah snapped.

Gilbert took another step closer to the brunette, looking down and taking her hands back into the warmth of his. Looking back into her watery eyes that glew like the moonlight reflecting onto a lake. "It's not true, because when you first came here I began developing these feelings, and I denied them for months because I thought I was supposed to be with Ida because, she was first. But it's not true and I want you. Only you. Just you."

"You don't even know me." She replied coldly.

Gilbert sighed, "Your favorite song is This Side Of Paradise, your favorite color is blue. I know that you always were made fun of for being 5'2. I know that your hobbies are singing; drawings, playing music, and writing. I know that you wanted to grow up to help kids who are sad. I know that when you're happy your eyes light up, I know that when you're sad your bottom lip starts to quiver and that you always grab onto the strands of fabric on your ripped pants and twirl it when you're nervous. I know you wear that hoodie because it's the only part of home that you have. I know that when your angry you shut down, you don't talk to anyone because you know you'll say something you will regret. I know that your favorite memory as a child is when you and your brother rode your bicycles in the rain. I know that you can only draw people and flowers. I know that you can sing like an angel but with the power of a goddess. I know that you like to play sports even though Rachel doesn't approve." Gilbert takes a moment to breathe, he laughs for a second at the last thing he said.

Merliah, who was watching him, she chuckled at the thought of Mary giving her an hour lecture about curtesy. Her face now gleaming with clear but noticeable tears that are streaming down her cheeks. Gilbert took his hand and wiped away one of the streaks of tears from her face.

"I know that on rainy days you like to sleep in. I know that your eyes are a beautiful milky brown. I know that what you're scared of the most is being forgotten, and that you want to change the world. I know that I want you. I want to work at this, you make me happy and I hope I can make you happy. I want to be able to protect you. I want to make you laugh. I want to make you cry.. but good tears, good tears. I want you to get angry with me but at the end of the day still love me. I know that my favorite memory with you is all of them but if I had to choose it would be last night. The way we connected in the night, the way I was able to hold you and comfort you, how you let me in and how you trusted me. It really showed me how much I want to be there for you. I want to do everything with you. If you'll just let me.." He begs.

Merliah turned her head to the side looking at the ground below her, expressing without words that she was unsure. "You think you're hard to love. Your guard is up, your trust issues are at a all time high because the pursuit of love has brought you nothing but pain. You just want to feel nothing and you numb yourself by hiding your heart behind the wall you've built out of mistrust and disappointment. You're the girl still trying to piece herself back together and even so, you're still the type of girl deserving of a love that helps you grow. You still deserve a love that feels like the love you've always been capable of providing."

The shorter brunette lifts her gaze to Gilbert's, her eyes fluttering with sparkling tears.

Gilbert pulls her into a hug and his face goes into the crook of her neck, pulling her closer and closer. "Okay." Merliah said.

"Okay.."

Gilbert pulled himself away, not wanting to but knowing he has to. He wiped another tear off the girls face and leaned over to kiss her forehead. "You know I could get used to that." Merliah laughed. Gilbert smiled at the sound of her angelic laugh.

The two began to continue their journey back to De L'heure. Once they arrive the two teens; once broken, still broken. Turn to face each other.

"So.." They say in an awkward unison.

"What now?" Gilbert speaks up. "What is this?" He says as he gestures his hand from her to him. "Well, we have to wait until we are old enough so you can start calling. I want to take full advantage of this eighteen century dating method, seems more efficient." Merliah laughed.

"Alright than, but I still want to be able to do this." Gilbert replies as he wraps his right hand around her waist and his left brushes against her cheek. He takes a moment to take in her features, than he leans in and kisses her.

"Gilbert..?" The two love birds pulled away from each other with a startle from being interrupted. Merliah turns around and Gilbert meets eyes with a particular blue eyed girl.

"Ida.." Merliah shakily says.

Before Merliah can say anything else Ida turns around and runs off. Merliah turns back to Gilbert, she gives him a pleading look and he nods, giving her a sorrowful expression.

Did I just loose my best friend? He asks himself.

And with that the brunette runs off to find her suburban headed kindred spirit; that may not be so kindred anymore.