Chapter 13 Fernweh

I realize there's something incredibly honest about trees in winter, how they're experts at letting things go.

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"Well, as you all know my father has fallen ill, today is actually my last day. He told me he wants me to have one last full day before I take off school to tend to him." Gilbert spoke to the class.

You could hear a faint sigh from Lavender as she quietly said Gilbert was being heroic. Although Gilbert cringed to hearing that.

He was not a hero - just a mere character in the back, taking in all the grief behind a smile.

"My mother passed away when giving birth to me. I was in the wrong fetal position and she well she did her best. My father left soon after, so it has been just my grandfather and I since. We have traveled together; had many laughs and great memories. My aunt and uncle Fletcher, they both passed away from the flu many years ago. Oh they were definitely the most delightful people. One time.." Gilbert laughs before he continues.

"I remember when I was just a boy, my father took me to visit them. I had to have been around six years old. My uncle Fletcher took me out into the woods and we started building a shaft out of wood. It was so much fun. When we decided to stop for the day we went back inside and my aunt had made cookies; raisin cookies with warm tea. Although a couple weeks after that visit they both passed. I hope one day I can go back and finish the shaft with my own son some day." He finishes, turning to look at Merliah.

The brunette smiles at the hazel eyed boy, gently nodding her head.

"Oh Gilbert, that's so sad. You're all alone! And I won't be able to see you anymore!" Lavender cried out. Rosalie wrapped her arms around the tiny girl in the pink dress, as the other girls comforted her.

Gilbert shrugged in response. "Once my father gets better I will come back." He says to Lavender, as she wipes her watery eyes with her napkin.

"That's that's good.." Lavender quietly speaks.

"Thank you Gilbert, that was touching, we all wish for your father to get better quickly. If you ever need anything please let me know." Miss Herny sincerely said.

The curly headed boy nods in response with a small smile he forces to his face.

Miss Herny dismisses the class for recess and lunch. Merliah was not used to having recess at her age, however she did not complain.

Ida went to sit with Delaney and the rest of the girls. She mostly sits with them now, occasionally sharing a quiet and uncomfortable lunch with Gilbert and Merliah. Ida was only trying to be polite and give them alone time as she thought they should be able to have, also saving herself the heartache by not having to be around Gilbert.

Merliah and the boy walked outside, a light brown weaved basket in the girls hand.

As the two walked over to the stream to get their milks out of the cold water, they walked to sit on the two rocks near the trees behind the school. No one could see them from afar unless they walked up to the trees. The two liked that. It was beautiful and peaceful. Yes it was chilly and they would shudder once and awhile, although it was calming. Better than listening to Jonathan brag about his new riffle is what Merliah would say.

"I'm proud of you." Merliah states.

"Why? All I did was talk about my dead family and soon to be dead father." Gilbert responded rather abruptly. "Gilbert Wilson Brown!" Merliah says as she watched the boy as he unwraps the cloth to get to his lunch; a simple sandwich and some grapes. He always had grapes.

Gilbert did not pick up his food and eat. He sat there on the cold rock, staring at his food. "Gil.." Merliah says.

"I'm gonna leave." He says very quietly. Merliah tilts her head to the side just a little bit. "What do you mean leave?" She questions. Gilbert takes in a deep breath, taking his boot and digging out the dirt that hid away in the ground.

"If my father.. passes away, I want to leave. Travel the world, That's what he always wanted to do. I want to be able to do that for him. I don't want to run a salt business like he did, I want to do more than that. I want to live, not worry about taxes and money, and making sure I can feed myself during the winter seasons." Gilbert speaks.

Merliah nodded her head, understanding what he meant. Gilbert takes his sandwich from the cloth and began to eat it, still looking down. "And I want you to come with me." He murmurs from his mouth full with ham and doe bread.

The brunette looks up to the hazel eyes boy, she watched him for a moment. With her not answering Gilbert lifts up his head to reach her gaze. She does not look mad or angry, if anything she looked interested.

I don't want to go alone. I don't want to be alone.. He thinks to himself as he locks eyes with the girl in front of him.

"Okay.." She says, turning her attention back to her food as if it was a simple question. "Wait really?" Gilbert asks, now he was the one confused.

Merliah nods her head. She swallows a piece of her scone and continues, "I have always wanted to travel the world, although I am sure the Smith's would not be happy, neither would Ida be. However I want to go with you. I do not want you to be alone after your fathers passing - if he passes. Besides, I do not think I could handle not seeing you for however you decide to be gone for." She finishes.

The girl leans over, placing her hand that does not have food in it and places it onto Gilbert's hand. "I am here for you, I will always be here for you. Okay?"

He looks down at her hand on his, than looking back into her eyes. Those beautiful eyes.

"What if you leave me too..?" He asks, his eyes turning glossy. Merliah quickly places her food on top of the lid of her basket and hugs the boy. Gilbert places his head in the crook of her neck, taking in the scent of chrysanthemums and what smells like the ocean.

After a few moments Merliah pulls away, sitting back on the rock she was before. "Gilly I am never going to leave you okay? So please do not fret yourself over it. I am here to stay, whether you like it or not." Merliah says, a small laugh escaping her soft lips.

Gilbert smiled at the girl in front of him.

"Now hurry up and eat before class starts again. Oh! l Eliza gave Ida and I a little bit of Cherries Jubilee. A scrumptious dessert they are, here have a taste of it." She says as she hands over the dessert with her cloth placed under it.

The boy takes it into his hand and takes a bite. He smiles as he chews the delicious food; handing it back over to Merliah. "That is indeed scrumptious."

Merliah takes a bite of it as well and enjoys the taste of it. She than puts it back in her cloth and sets it at the bottom of her basket to save for an after school snack.

The two continue eating their lunch, talking here and there over the scenery and about life. Where they want to travel; what they want to do with their life. Bonding, truly bonding over the littlest things. A soulmate is not found. A soulmate is a connection you find with someone, so you continue to work and build a relationship with them. Than, even after, the work and building of a relationship never stops. They will always be your soulmate if you never stop fighting for them.

"I don't want him to go Merliah. Heis my family." Gilbert chokes out. "I know Gil. I know.."