Chapter 11

For almost three years I struggled with the memory of that night, the sound of his voice, his smell, his touch and his eyes. I've spent so long trying to push the memory back that I never considered what it would be like to face him. I always assumed that I would probably never see him and yet here he is. Here he is like he was always here, like I didn't searched hard enough for him.

"Ava?"

I know it's him, I just know it. Those eyes, those lips, those hands, the same hands that caressed my body and held me close. I had sex with my boss's brother, my boss's brother is my daughters biological father and Caleb is their uncle. Oh my God, I had sex with my boss's brother.

"Ava?!" Caleb said suddenly.

He was standing in front of me with his hands firmly on my shoulders. I gasped and blinked quickly, breaking the connection with my green eyed stranger.

"Are you ok?" Caleb asked concerned.

"Um, I...." My mouth went dry, and my eyes began to water. I was starting to hyperventilate and I don't think I can stop it. I quickly turned and ran out of the office leaving the two men looking very confused. I dashed to the elevator and began pressing the button insistently. I was trying my hardest to control my breathing. I spun around as I felt a hand touch my shoulder and nearly screamed my head off.

"Ava? Ava are you okay? Relax, what's wrong?" Caleb said.

My chest was beginning to hurt and the room started to spin as I gripped Caleb's arm tightly.

"Hey, hey come over here." He tugged me down to one of the chairs and forced me to sit, but the room was still spinning and I continued to gasp.

"Is she okay?" The sound of my stranger's voice did NOT help my situation at all.

"Ava what is it? Calm down. Mason bring me a cup of water." Caleb said.

Caleb held my arms firmly, my fingers were still glued to his forearms. I forced myself to focus on his eyes as a hand stretched out with the water. Caleb grabbed the water out of his hand.

"Do you want me to call for some help?" He asked.

"No, just go in the office, give me minute with her." Caleb said.

He left the room and I my forced my breathing to calm down. "Drink this, breathe and focus on me." Caleb commanded.

He handed me the water and I took the cup in my shaky hands bringing it to my lips slowly. With every sip and deep breath, I slowly began to calm down. Caleb eyes never left mines as I started to regain control over my body again.

"Are you okay?"

"Yea, yea I'm fine." I gasped out.

"Do you always have panic attacks?"

"No, actually I haven't had one in years, not since I found out I was pregnant." I admitted.

"Well what the hell happened? Something had to trigger it." He said.

"Um, no I just, I was forced to face something I wasn't prepared to." I said.

My hands were still quivering slightly. "Is it okay if I step out? I just need some fresh air."

"No, it's fine, as a matter of fact, just take the rest of the day off, try get some rest." He said worried.

"Oh I don't have too.."

"Ava, go home." His face was stern leaving no room for negotiations.

"Thank you so much, I'm sorry." I mumbled.

I quickly got up from the chair and grabbed my things off my desk before moving to the elevator. I clicked the button again, eager to put some more distance between my stranger and I. I secured my bag on my shoulder quickly and stepped into the elevator. Caleb stepped in half way stopping the elevator from closing.

"Listen, you call me alright?" He said.

I swallowed and nodded solemnly. Once the elevator closed I took a deep breath. I tried my best to remain focus and stay calm, at least until I got out of the building. I headed out the elevator and avoided making eye contact with anyone in the room. I weaved through the cubicles and head straight for the door, praying Julia didn't notice me. Once I was safely outside I headed for the parking lot to my car. I picked up my phone realizing it was almost three and called Catherine.

"Hey sugar, what's up?"

"Are you out of school yet?" I asked.

"Well the bell won't ring for another ten minutes, why?" She asked.

"Meet me by my mother's house asap."

I hung up the phone before she can ask any questions and made my way to my mom's house. My hands shook lightly on the steering wheel as I drove and I tightened my grip firmly. I can't afford to lose control, not yet. Believe it or not, the way I reacted in the office was child's play compared to how bad my panic attacks can get. I pulled up to my mom's house quickly and got out the car. I knocked rapidly on the door, while trying to remain calm. When she didn't answer right away I knocked harder and was relieved when I heard movement.

"Okay okay, calm down." A voice called.

The door was pulled open by a complete stranger. He was no taller than 5'10, looked middle aged and well groomed. His mostly grayed hair was slightly tousled and he quickly adjusted his shirt with a nervous look. His mouth fell into a small o as he stared at me and for a moment, the stress of the day was forgotten.

"Who in the hell are you?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

"Ava?! Honey, you're here so early I thought you get off at five." Mom called flustered.

She stood behind the man and he pulled the door open more making room for her.

"Mom, who is this?" I asked though I already knew.

"This is Joey, um the guy I told about, the one who..."

"Yea yea yea your loyal customer." I said cutting her off.

"Ava what is it?" She asked confused.

I can see that she was getting annoyed and at the moment I couldn't care. I pushed passed them quickly, ignoring their shocked faces.

"Where are my kids?" I asked.

"Um, they're upstairs asleep, what is your problem?" She asked.

"My problem? I left my kids here for a few hours and you're downstairs getting frisky."

"Ava Shawn!" Mom said shocked.

"Um, maybe I should head out." Joey said awkwardly.

"Please?!"

"No!" Mom and I shouted together.

"Amy, it's okay, I'm gonna head out okay? I'll call you." He said.

"Ugh, fine I'm so sorry about this." Mom said.

I should be feeling bad for what I said, but at the moment I just couldn't. Mom walked him to the door and he placed a kiss on her cheek.

"It was nice to finally meet you Ava." He said.

I didn't respond as he quietly left and my mom closed the gently with a sigh before turning to me.

"I don't know what has gotten into you, but what the hell was that?"

"What? I chased your precious boyfriend away?" I scoffed.

"Ava, I like him, I like him a lot and you were just so disrespectful to him and me."

"I hardly call that disrespectful." I said.

I quickly walked into the kitchen and she was hot on my heel. "Don't you walk away from me. Joey is apart of my life you owe him some respect."

"Respect?! I don't even know the man. You haven't shown me much respect keeping him in the dark and then you bring him here when you're suppose to be babysitting to get frisky!"

"Stop it! I never get into your personal life and I would love it if you stayed out of mines."

"Seriously mom? My children are right upstairs."

"Ava they're asleep, I would never put my grandchildren in danger and how dare you insinuate that?" She said crossing her arms.

We were both breathing hard and glaring at each other, two stubborn people cut from the same cloth.

"I just don't understand why you kept him away for so long and then have him here like it's nothing."

"Ava I told you why I kept my relationship with Joey private and he was only here for ten minutes before you came, the girls didn't even see him and we were NOT getting frisky it was just a heated kiss for heavens sake!"

The more we argued the more the guilt started to set in. Here I am marching into her house, trying to tell her how to run her life when I can't get a grip on mine.

I sighed, "Look mom, I'm....I'm sorry okay? I didn't mean to get all in your face like that, I'm just tired feeling like a secret."

She closed her eyes gently and relaxed her posture before approaching me. "Ava, I'm sorry if I made you feel like some kind of secret. I didn't mean for it to come off that way. I just wanted to keep Joey private until I was sure it was real. My family means everything to me, I can't let anyone come and disrupt that." She said.

Hearing her words made me feel even more horrible about how I acted.

"I get it mom, I'm so sorry." I said.

She nodded, "I know you enough to know you don't just act like that. You're not impulsive so what's wrong?" She asked.

Everything I was trying to ignore slowly started coming back to the front of my mind, but before I could say anything, there was a knock at the door.

"That's probably Cat, I told her to come over." I said.

Mom looked at me confused before going to the door and I sat down at the kitchen table. I grabbed my cellphone and quickly searched up the Reynolds family. I said I didn't have time to be looking up Caleb's family and yet, here I am.

"Hey, is everything okay?" Cat asked as she entered the kitchen.

Her and my mom took a seat across from me silently. "Okay, you called Catherine here? This has to be serious." Mom said.

I didn't respond as I finally came across the picture I wanted. Emerald eyes stared back at me and I was instantly pulled back to that night.

"Do you want me to stop baby?"

"No, please, don't." I gasped.

He zipped down my costume with ease, revealing my naked body underneath. He groaned gripping me closer, my mind was spiraling out of control as he brought his lips back to mine. God, why did he have to taste so good?

I was brought back to the present with Cat clipping her fingers in front of me.

"Avaaa?!" Cat said.

"Sorry. I..." I mumbled as my eyes began to water uncontrollably.

"Sweetie what's wrong?" Mom asked panicked.

"I'm sorry it's just, I wanted to say this once so I had to make sure you were both here. Everything I worked so hard to move past just came rushing back and this time, I can't ignore it anymore." I whispered.

"What do you mean?" Cat asked.

"I think I've found, no I KNOW I found the girls father today." I said.

"What?!!" They both yelled stunned.

Their eyes widened in shock and if this conversation wasn't so serious, I'd laugh.

"I saw him...guys I saw him." I cried.

Mom got up and moved her chair closer to my side to put her arms around me.

"Sweetie, what do you mean? How? When?" Mom asked.

"He...Caleb... Office." I cried incoherently.

"What?! Caleb?! Hot sexy Caleb? Your boss, the man of my dreams?" Cat yelled.

Mom leaned over and swatted Cat. "Focus would you?" She said.

Mom pulled me closer to her side and it was a bit more comforting. "Tell us honey." She coaxed.

"It's not Caleb." I said ignoring Cat's sigh of relief, I continued.

"It's his brother." I said.

"What?!" Mom said.

"Caleb has a brother?" Cat asked.

"Ava are you sure honey? That's a pretty big accusation." Mom said.

I turned my phone over in my hand to show them the picture and they both gasped.

"It's not an accusation, it's a fact." I said.

"Oh my God." Mom gasped.

"Holy Fuck." Mom swatted Cat again,

"Lauguage." She said.

"I'm sorry Ms. Amy but look at him?! His eyes, his mouth, his hair, the shape of his head, God, he practically pushed them kids out himself." Cat said.

"The resemblance is pretty unnerving. Ava are you sure?" Mom asked.

"Mom I've never been more sure of anything in my life."

"Tell us what happened." Cat said.

"Caleb wanted me to clear his schedule for his twin brother, I didn't even know he had twin, but I did as he asked. I stepped away from my desk and his brother came and I didn't know. I went to get their lunch to bring it up to them and I saw him." I said.

"Did you say anything to him? Did he?" Mom asked.

"God, he introduced himself and I just stood there like a statue, how sad is that?" I cried.

"That's not sad Ava, you were in shock." Cat said.

"Yea, but I won't ever be able to forget how they both looked at me. I had a random panic attack right there and I couldn't even control it." I groaned covering my face.

Mom rubbed my shoulders softly and I heard a soft sniffle beside me. "Mom are you crying?" I asked worried.

"They look just like him Ava, they really do." She said staring at the phone.

I sighed, "I know. What am I going to do? This is not something you just spring on someone." I said.

"What do you want to do?" Mom asked.

"I know I want my daughters to know their real father more than anything and as much as I want to, I can't ignore this anymore." I said.

"What about Royce?" Cat asked.

"Oh God, I completely forgot about him! Royce is going to have a fit, he won't handle this good at all." I gasped.

He made me promise I'd stop looking for him. He wanted us to get passed it and the man just popped up out of no where.

"He can't expect you to sit on something like this Ava. This is very important, this man could be your children's father." Mom said.

"This man also has a girlfriend and family who doesn't have a clue Lily and Peppa exists. I mean can you imagine the chaos this can cause, the man is in the public's eye. His family is wildly popular." Cat said staring at a picture on my phone.

"Yea, but he helped create those girls, he deserves to know the truth." Mom said.

I groaned tugging at my hair in frustration. This is exactly why I was avoiding this entire situation. No one wins and this can get so messy.

"You both have very valuable points, I don't want to disrupt anyone's life, I dont want to hurt Royce and I don't want my life in the public's eye. I mean no matter how I do this it's a bad idea." I said.

"Well, you have to think about what's more important and what's best." Mom said.

"What if someone gets hurt?"

"Honestly, as long as it's not Lily or Peppa then who cares?" Cat said.

"I just need some time to think. I have to talk to Royce." I said.

"What's his name?" Mom asked.

I pulled the phone out of Cat's hand softly. In the picture she was looking at he stood tall in a long sleeved white shirt and tan pants. His shirt hugged to his frame attractively as he smirked towards the camera, his eyes full of mischief.

"His name is Mason. Mason Reynolds." I said.

Later on, Cat followed the girls and I home and I was so glad that she did. I couldn't stand the thought of being alone to my thoughts. I didn't want to be distracted when I'm with the girls and Cat was a big help. She helped me give the girls their bath and helped me with making dinner.

"You've been pretty quiet, what's on your mind?" She asked.

"What do you think?" I stirred the pot absentmindedly.

The girls were in the living watching cocomelon and it worked wonders when I needed them to be occupied. "I always thought that you'd be happy to find him."

"If this was two in a half years ago I probably would, but now things are a lot more complicated." I said.

"How so?"

"Well for starters I promised Royce that I would stop looking for him."

"But you didn't look for him, he practically fell in your lap." She said.

"That doesn't change the fact that I was in the same room with him again. Royce wanted us to work things out, he said that he'd be here for me and the girls, but he couldn't stand the thought of having the man I slept with around." I said.

"That doesn't change the fact that it's their father Ava. I mean he can't expect you to not go through with this."

"You seemed against the idea of telling Mason earlier."

"No, I just wanted you to weigh all of your options. I mean the Reynolds are a very rich and popular family. It's not going to be easy coming forth with this and even if the truth comes out it doesn't mean every other problem goes away. I don't want to sugar coat it Ava, if you come out with this it will change you and those girls lives." She said.

I moved around the kitchen trying to stay busy and not letting her words sink in even though it already did. I can't pretend like I didn't saw the man, apart of me didn't want to.

"I don't know what to do." I admitted softly.

"The answer will present itself." Cat said confidently.

Royce walked into the kitchen, interrupting our conversation. I didn't even hear his car pull up.

"What's going on?" He asked.

"Hey, nothing baby." I said slightly flustered.

"Well feels like someone sucked the life out of the kitchen." He said.

"Probably because you walked in." Cat smirked calmly.

Royce rolled his eyes with a smirk but didn't respond. I turned off the stove signaling that dinner was done and I pulled Cat out of the kitchen.

"I'm going to serve dinner right now, I'll just walk Cat out." I said.

Cat stopped in the living room to give the girls kisses before heading out the door. She gave me a look that I know all too well, but I ignored it. I watched her drive off before closing the door.

"Lily, Peppa, time for food." I called out.

I turned off the T.V and pulled them into the kitchen. "Roy!" They yelled.

Royce laughed kneeling down to scoop up the girls in his arms. He kissed their heads and placed them in their high chairs at the table.

"I hope you girls were good for Nana." He said.

They nodded their heads seriously and I laughed. "They weren't the only ones good for Nana." I chuckled.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"Mom has got herself a boyfriend."

"Oh wow, that's cute." He laughed.

"Trust me, it wasn't."

I quickly served dinner before having a seat the table. "How was work?" I asked.

"The usual I guess."

"That sounds, boring." I said.

"I guess, being a pilot isn't as exciting as I thought it would be." He shrugged.

"What? You love flying, you worked so hard to become a pilot." I said worried.

"I know, I'm not saying im quitting or anything, I was just thinking about it."

"Do you want to leave, because I'll support whatever decision you make."

"No, it's okay, I'll think on it more." He said.

I don't know where his sudden change in flying came from, he adored his work. "How was work for you?" He asked.

The question brought my head right back to Caleb and seeing Mason. My stomach was in knots instantly and I tried to swallow my chicken. The last thing I wanted was to ruin the night by bringing up who I saw, especially when I haven't decided what I'd do.

"Work was good as always." I forced out.

The room was silent as we ate our dinner. I watched the girls eat their dinner for a few minutes. Peppa was digging into her mash potatoes with ease but Lily was taking her time as she ate. She's not a big fan of mash potatoes but with the right gravy she'd eat it without a problem.

"The girls will be two in a few weeks have you decided what you wanted to do for them?" Royce asked breaking the silence.

"Um, not really. I know I want to give them a nice party, but I haven't really planned it out yet. Maybe something small in the back yard, I'll talk it over with Catherine." I said.

"That's a good idea, let me know if you need my help." He said.

The room fell silent again and it was driving me insane because dinners were one of our most talkative times.

"Royce, about yesterday..." Royce instantly shook his head stopping my words.

"Later." He said.

He cleaned up after dinner while I got the girls ready for bedtime.

"Book momma." Peppa said and Lily clapped excitedly.

"Please?" I asked.

"Pweasee!" They both said.

I laughed grabbing a book off of the shelf. They followed me to the rocking chair in the corner of the room and climbed into my lap. The both tugged at my top and got more comfortable as they began to nurse. I rocked the chair gently as I began to read the story. Once Lily and Peppa were secured in their cribs for the night I headed to our room. Royce was already in bed on his cellphone and I went to the bathroom to get ready for bed.

"You know I'm going to be sad when it's time to get rid of the girls cribs and give them big girl beds." I said.

"I know you will, but I'll be happy to see the transition." He said.

When I came back to the room he was staring at the door as if he was waiting for me. I moved in next to him on the bed.

"I'm sorry about last night." He whispered.

"I hate when we fight Royce." I said.

"I know I know, I just let my emotions get the best of me sometimes."

"Why?"

"Because although I love the girls like my own, they're not. I just hate being reminded of that....time." He said.

I nodded solemnly. He didn't have to elaborate any further because I already understood.

"Not a day goes by that I don't feel sorry about causing you pain. I didn't mean it."

"I know you didn't." He whispered.

"Will we ever get past this?" I asked desperately.

"Hopefully, its sooner than you think." He pulled me down gently onto the pillow and as his body covered mines, nothing else mattered.