Chapter 12 Confusion

It was 5.30 Saturday evening and Diane checked her phone for the hundredth time since 12;00 noon. She hadn't heard from Gabriel since he left her house that morning, he was in a state of confusion so she only hopes he was okay. She was about to go wash some dishes when her door open and in walks Diana her second oldest sister. "Okay, who is he?" She asks dropping her bag on the chair. "Well hello to you too sis," Diane said hands on her hips. "Don't be coy with me, who is he?" Diana asks again. "Who is who?" Diane asks innocently. "Oh very funny, the white man that was in your house this morning? News travels very fast in this community so start talking." "Crap, oh alright, he's a new convert from church, he's the only white man in the church, he doesn't know anyone and since he's Mrs. Lisa's nephew she asks me to look out for him, end of story. He was only here because he wanted someone to talk to." Diane said heading into the kitchen and began removing dishes from her sink.

"So, I heard he is very cute," Diana said biting her lips. "That's the understatement of the year, The man is drop-dead gorgeous, blond hair, intense blue eyes, muscles in all the right places, and as sexy as a Greek god," Diane said laughing. "Sounds like a catch," Diana said smiling. "Yeah he is, but I won't be doing the catching, because it's the good-looking ones you need to be careful of and I've learned my lesson with Kevin," Diane said checking on her daughter to make sure she was okay. "I'll help him adjust to his new life and we can be friends but nothing else, I really don't want to go down that road again."

He was going to take her and her daughter to church tomorrow. He keeps thinking to himself so on his way home he stopped at the department store and bought a child safety seat and one of the clerks from the store shows him how to installs it in the back of his car or any vehicle that he may be driving. He then heads to a Chinese restaurant then to the supermarket to get a few things for himself, he also picked up a few yogurts for her daughter. He then heads to Alex's house but he wasn't home so he went home, packs away the things he had bought, flops down on his sofa, grabs his phone, and calls Diane. "She answers on the second ring. "Hi, I was wondering if you were okay." She said with concern. "Thanks for thinking about me, but I'm okay. But...um... I was wondering, what's your daughter's name?" He asks. There were a pause and a sigh but then she answers. "Her name is Jasmine Walker.' She replied. "But your name is Diane Walker isn't it?" "Yes,"

"Holy Christ she's married, and was that disappointment he felt." "Oh sorry, I didn't know you were married." He said sadly, gripping the phone harder and closing his eyes took a deep breath. "I'm not." She replied. "I don't understand." "It's a long story." She said with a sigh. "I have time." He said getting comfortable. 'I bet you do.' She said to herself and since you are now a part of my church, you will indeed find out all about me one way or the other, so maybe it's better he heard it from me instead of one of my nosy church sisters.' She thought with a sigh and began. "

"Her father and I broke up when I was four months pregnant. I haven't seen or heard from him since, so when she was born I gave her my last name." She said then stops. "Was that relief he felt? What the hell was wrong with him? He just met the girl for Christ's sake. "Do you live alone with your daughter?" "Why was he asking that? Was he planning on showing up here again? And if he did what was she going to do, hide under the bed. She asks herself with a snort. "Yes, I do." She said biting her lips.

"I don't mean to be all up in your business, I just want to get to know you better, if I cross any lines let me know okay?" Damn his accent sound good, where was he from? She wondered. "Okay," "So didn't he want his child?" "No, he said she wasn't his, even after I told him that he was the only man I have been within the last four years, he still denied her and kicked me out." She said and he could hear the anger in her voice, she still hadn't gotten over what he did to her. "How do you manage by yourself?" He asks, his heartbreaking for her.

He heard her took another deep breath and let it out slowly. "If this is too hard for you to talk about you can stop."He said feeling guilty for asking her so many questions. "No, it's okay I don't mind, it just being a while since I talk to anyone about it, but anyway I take her to school and go to work, I then pay the school bus to drop her off at the daycare center after school and after work, I pick her up and take her home."

'As if I needed you to tell me that.' He thought with a smile. "I know it sounds hard but with the help of God I make it work." "How long have you been a Christian?" "Four years, I got baptized after Jasmine was born." "Okay thank you for answering my questions, get some rest, I'll see you in the morning." "Okay, see you then." She said ending the call. jeez what's with all the questions, what was he a lawyer? Merciful Christ, I need some water.' She said heading to the kitchen.

Her phone ring at 7;40 Sunday morning as she was searching for her shoes. "Hi, I'm at your gate, are you ready?" He asks in his deep sexy accent. "Almost, I'll be out in a minute." She said peeking through her window, how many vehicles did this guy have she wondered when she realizes that the vehicle at her gate was not the one he was driving yesterday.

He was once again welcome during the service and he had to say he was enjoying the service. The preacher touch on the topic of forgiveness, which made him think of Alex because Alex is his best friend and he needed him, so he was willing to forgive him for his harsh words. Next, the preacher talks about keeping your heart pure and cleansing your life, meaning getting rid of all the unwanted baggage in your life, which made him think of all the porn he had in his house. After the preaching, he was prayed for at the altar, and he had to admit, it did make him feel rather peaceful and relaxed; surely him giving his life to God couldn't be a mistake if it made him feel this peaceful.

After the service, he was in the process of going through a score of welcome and encouraging words from some of the members when he saw Diane heading through the gate. He quickly thanks the people gathered around him for their kind words and went chasing after her and catch her as she was about to cross the road. "Please don't leave, there's so much more I want to say to you, please, let me give you a ride back home, please." He pleads.

Why was this man so eager to give her rides all the time, and damn if the word please didn't sound strange coming from a man that looks like him, Pity at the time she didn't know that his inner voice was again at that moment calling him ten kinds of fool for using the word please so much; desperate much; his inner voice chides. But again he ignores it because for some reason that he hadn't quite figured out yet he likes being around this girl and chides as you may I always get what I want in the end. He chides back as she nods and walks with him to his car.

As she finishes securing her daughter in the child's seat she turns to him and smiles. "Thank you for buying the seat for her, it was very kind of you." "Safety first." He said opening the passenger's door for her. "Alright, Mr. a lot of questions, I have some of my own." She thought to herself as she builds up the courage to ask some of her own but before she could begin he asks the first one. "Would you like some Chinese food?" He asks. "And what would you like in return for that Chinese food?' She wondered. "No thank you." She said without looking at him. "Okay, I'll just get some for myself then." 'and you, whether you want it or not." He thought with a smile. 'Okay, I'm ready.' She thought taking a deep breath. "How old are you?" She asks and bites her lips as she saw his brow arches.

"I just turn thirty. How old are you?" He asks. "Oh, you just walk right into that one didn't you?" Her inner voice asks laughing at her. "I'm twenty-six." She answers without looking at him. "How do you know my aunt?" 'Hey, it's my turn.' She screams in her mind but answers the question calmly. "Well apart from her being my church sister, she also helps me find work from time to time." "She talks very highly of you." "That's nice to hear, I respect her a lot too, so where are you from?" She asks before he could think of another question.

"My brother and I were born in Italy, but my family moved to Miami when we were about five." "Do you have any siblings?" He asks stopping at a stoplight and glancing into his mirror at Jasmine and smile as he watches her trying to lick the yogurt from the container. 'For crying out loud, I wasn't finished.' She screams in her mind again but again answers calmly. "I've four sisters, lots of nieces and nephews and cousins." She said laughing then giggling as he smiles at her. "What?" He asks. "Nothing, they're just a weird bunch that's all. Where is your brother now?" She asks still smiling. "My identical twin brother died at the age of seventeen." He said in a sad tone.

"I'm sorry to hear that." She said biting her lips nervously. "Where are your parents, are they still in Miami?" Gabriel felt his chest tightening again and he took a deep breath. "No." Diane could hear a very deep sadness in his voice. "I'm sorry, no more questions I didn't mean to upset you." "I don't mind the questions it's just a sad topic for me that's all. My parents died when I was twenty-one. They died in a car accident in England." "Oh my gosh! you lost both your parents and your brother. Gabriel I'm so sorry. Do you have any other family?" "Only my aunt." 'I'm so sorry for bringing up this topic. I lost my mother and I still haven't gotten over it. I can't even imagine what you must be going through."

"I don't know how I survived either but I wasn't alone my best friend Alex help me a lot. He was there for me through everything. I don't think I would have survived if it wasn't for him. And now he's upset with me because I choose to follow the same God who he blames for everything that happened to me. I know he will come around, he just needs time. Hold on a sec let me try calling him.'

He dials Alex's number but Alex didn't answer. Gabriel tried again but still no answer. "I hope I haven't lost him too." He groaned. "Gabriel how are you doing now. I mean if you didn't tell me all this I never would have guessed. You seem to hide your pain well." There was his name on her lips again, how and why did she have this effect on him. He wondered before answering. "Well, most of the time I just feel numb. And these help me get through the day." He said opening his glove compartment and showing her three bottles of pills. "What are these?" She asks taking one out. "Steroids, pain pills, and sleeping pills, and of course I mixed all those with alcohol." He says without hesitation. "You're on drugs?" She asks looking at him in surprise. "Since I was seventeen." "Oh, after you lost your brother. Why are you on pain pills?" She asks in concern. "Sometimes I get these very bad headaches and the sleeping pills are for my nightmares." "Okay I know you are still in a lot of pain and you are probably still grieving but you can't continue taking these. Did you take any today?"

He turns and looks at her but didn't answer. "Tell me the truth." "Yes, I did." He said biting his lips. "Well, that was the last one. You will not be taking anymore." "I can't just quit cold turkey." "Yes you can and you will. With the help of God, you will quit." "That's just it, I can't, my doctor said that if I try to quit all these drugs at one time it could kill me, he told me to come back so we can begin a detox program but that was months ago, I haven't been back yet."

"Are you always so open?" She asks. "Nope but I feel comfortable with you like I can tell you anything without being judged but about what the preacher said today about getting rid of unwanted baggage, I have a project that I'm going to asks you to help me with." He said pulling the vehicle in the parking lot of a Chinese restaurant. "Project?" She asks. "Yes, and it's going to require you to come to my house." "Your house?" "Do you mind?" "Um.. where do you live?" She asks biting her lips. "In Cooper's Hill." "When?" "Now," "Right now?" "Yes but that's only if you don't have any plans for the rest of the day." "Is it okay if my sisters come too?" She asks twisting her fingers. "If that would make you more comfortable, sure, I'll be right back." He said leaving the engine running and stepping out enter the restaurant and she immediately calls Diana and Dana.