Move On.

When I opened the door to the house, it was quiet.

I don't know if it was me or not but I heard a creak from the door as I opened it slowly.

You know, like in horror movies.

I walked straight for the stairs when I heard his voice.

"Well I didn't expect you home."

I jumped in fear and placed my shaky hands on my chest to calm down my frightened heart.

"I swear one of these days I'm gonna die from heart attack." I breathe out.

"Aww. Are you saying I may be the reason you'd leave this world?" He asks with a smile as he tilts his head.

"Fuck you." I say with a glare and turn to walk upstairs.

"You love me." He says behind me.

"Fuck off Alec!!" I say back.

I open the door to my room, walk inside, walk straight to my closet and fish out my suitcase.

"Aren't you sleeping home?" I hear his voice again and jump, startled.

"What the fuck is wrong with you Alec???!!!!" I shout from the floor.

He gives me a big smile. "I love myself." He says.

"What do you want?" I stand up and walk out of the closet, placing my suitcase on my bed.

"Where are you going."

"London." I say as I walk back into the closet for clothes.

"What? I thought you were staying with Mia."

"If you knew I was staying with Mia, why the hell are you bothering me?" I ask as I walk back out.

He sits on my bed and makes himself comfortable.

"Dad told me what happened." He says.

I give him a blank look and turn to the closet. "So?"

"You know, you can't keep running away each time things like this happen."

Excuse me?

I turn to him. "Things like this??"

He sighs. "You know what I mean Alex."

"No I don't."

"When mom died and dad said we should clear her stuffs. You ran away to Mia's house."

I look at him baffled. "Ran away?"

"Yes Alex. Ran away." He repeats. "You said it felt like we were clearing mom from our lives."

"Just because of that doesn't mean-"

"The time dad suggested we move out of our old house because it was getting too much for him." He interrupts me. "You threw a tantrum saying we were leaving mom behind. We were leaving her memories behind."

"Because that's how I felt!!!" I said, my voice raised a little higher than normal.

There was a short silence.

Alec looked at ease on my bed like he didn't have a care in the world, like nothing to him mattered.

"It's been over five years Alexis." He says calmly. "We all miss her. I know I do. It still feels like it was yesterday it happened, but-" He pauses and takes a breath. "It's been five years." He repeats.

"It hasn't been easy for anyone. Especially dad. It hasn't."

"So you feel it's an excuse just because it's been five years, and just because it hasn't been easy, he can get a new girlfriend and forget about mom?"

"Nobody has forgotten about mom Alexis!!" He finally snaps and stands. "No one can forget her Alex! It is impossible to forget her! It is! I sleep, I see her. I eat, I see her! I wake up, I freaking see her!!" He was shouting at this point.

Just how bad was he hurt about her death?

Was I couped up in my own sorrows that I forgot to notice the pain of those around me???

"So imagine how it will be for dad! Imagine the pain he would feel! That man knew her more than we did! That man loved her! Cherished her! Cared for her more than we could. Why? Because she was his other half. She was his world, his love."

"After five years. After five soul-less, dark years without his other half, he met someone who could possibly light up his dark world. Someone who will love and cherish him like mom did. Someone who would make him happy." His voice fall at the last part. "Because God knows the last time I saw that big guy happy. Truly happy." He pauses.

He takes a step towards me.

"So forgive me if I think it's really childish and stupid of you to try to take that happiness from him. I think it's really selfish of you to try to deprive him of that happiness."

"It's not my fault I feel like this." I finally find my voice to speak out. "It's not my fault I can't seem to forget her. It's not my fault I think about her every freaking moment. It's not my fault I felt that we were trying to erase her. It's not my fault I feel we were leaving her behind. It's not my fault I feel dad is trying to betray or forget about her. It really isn't." I say with a shaky voice.

I don't want to cry. I seriously don't.

But I feel I would anytime soon if this goes on.

"I lost her at a young age. It was hard. It still is. So forgive me if you think I'm being childish, or if you think being stupid, or selfish!!" I shout and let out a shaky breath. "I'm sorry but I just can't seem to let go." I add, my voice just above a whisper.

"I also lost her at a young age. Don't forget that." He says, repeating my words. "I also lost my mom. I also lost something important to me. But remember you can't just keep sulking about this. You can't keep living like this." He shakes his head. "You can't. You have to move on. You have to before this gets worse."

What?

"Are you saying, me not forgetting about our mother is a problem?" I ask as I take a step forward.

"I'm not saying that Alexis. I think you think that just because mother is dead, we can't live our lives. We can't move on. And that's what you need to fix. That's the problem you have." He says and I look away.

I won't lie. Hearing my brother say that. Hearing my twin say I have a problem and I need to fix it...

Yeah, it hurts.

"You need to leave. It's getting late and I need to pack." I say without looking at him and turn around.

"See?!" He raises his voice a little. "You're doing it again! You're running away when you're supposed to be charging head on!" He pauses.

"I don't know what went wrong, or when it went wrong," He continues when I don't talk. "But you're not the sister I know. You're not my twin right now." He adds. "I know she might be going through a rough patch, I know it's hard on her and I understand, but you're not her. You aren't." He says.

"I hope if she's listening, she hears this. 'I hope you know you have someone who's here for you. Someone who's willing to drop everything and come to your aid. I might not show it, or I might not say it often but I love you and I want it to stick okay?"

"You need to come out if it, you need to come out of this, because I miss my sister terribly." He continues. "You need to come out of this," He pauses. "Before it puts a strain on our relationship." He finishes and doesn't say anything.

I don't say a word either but sniff instead.

"Before you leave, at least give the old man a call." He says gently. "He's worried sick." He adds and walks away, slamming the door behind him.

Immediately the door closed, I slumped to the floor and burst into tears.

I let out the tears I had been holding in. The pain, the sorrow, the anger, I let it all out.

Alec and I have never fought before. Of course we've had our minimal tantrums, arguments and such, but it has never been like this.

And as much as I really hate to admit it, it may really put a strain on our relationship.

And I'm afraid if it does, there's no going back.