How Do I get Myself Into These Situations?

I slowly gained consciousness wondering once again how I get myself in these situations. I was full of wonderings. I wonder where I am. I wonder what time it is. I wonder where Suit is. I wonder if Suit is still alive. I wonder what happened to Tank. I wonder if they found my knife that I put in my boot.

Okay. let's take stock. I am sitting in some kind of chair. I wiggled my butt and moved my legs and arms as much as I could trying to decide what kind of chair. It was a metal chair. Dang. I really wanted it to be a wooden chair those were easier to break. There was rope wrapped around my torso securing me to the chair. I wonder if that is my rope. It is the same color and the same width-those thieves. I knew I should not have left it there. I still had not lifted my head. If someone was watching I really did not want them to know I was in the land of consciousness just quite yet. My hair was hiding most of my face so it was easy to keep the fact that my eyes were now open hidden. I also felt a bulk of rope around my wrists that were tied behind the chair back. My legs were not secured to anything or to each other. That is a bonus. I know they did not get my weapons off me because I left those in the Rover when I took Leslie in to interview her. I didn't want to waste time explaining and I really don't have a permit for the ARs. There is a reason I chose bounty hunter, excuse me, I meant fugitive apprehension agent instead of cop or FBI or any other acronymed agency. My definition of probable cause is a little more lenient. The rope around my wrists was really tight rubbing the skin raw, I guess I have scuffled a few too many times with these boys to be underestimated at this point. I chanced a glance up and did not see anybody--good. In fact, I didn't see anything. It was really dark. I had a little bit of time.

I was secured to the chair back but not the seat. I needed to get my arms in front of me to work off the ropes. I raised my knees and put my feet on the chair close to my butt and pushed with my feet and my torso up. I eventually wiggled and squirmed my way up until I was squating in the chair seat with the ropes only around me. I sat back down to breathe. Now the ropes no longer included the seat they were not as tight. I stood up and stepped away from the chair a few steps and then bent in the middle dropping my head by my feet. I bent my knee and stretched my hand down so that I could get one foot through my hands and then the other. Yay! Now I had my hands in front of me and I wiggled my arms and shoulder to get the rope around my torso over my head. I tossed it to my feet. Then it was only a matter of working the knot out backwards or so I thought. All my wiggling had made the knot tighter and I could not get under the ropes to loosen it. I remembered that I might still have the knife in my boot and bent down to check. It was in a secret compartment along the inside. You have to know it is there to find it and I was in luck because it was still there. Unfortunately with my wrists still together I had to take off my boot to get to it. Every noise I made seemed to echo loudly around the space where I was held. Once I was free of the rope, I looked around trying to get my bearings. It was dark but not pitch black. I could see a sliver of light above me and to the left. I must be in a basement of some kind. I started looking around for anything of use. I found some old paint cans, a few blankets and a lantern type light which did not work. Great. The space had a bare cement floor and unfinished ceiling with the beams showing, there was a single light bulb attached to one of the beams. I unscrewed it but left it there. No need in giving the goons the advantage. I walked up the wooden slatted steps to the door slowly hoping that none of them creaked. I got to the door and listened intently.

I heard skin hit skin-hard. I heard a grunt and then I heard someone ask, "What does she know?" Guessing the she to be me, I thought I should probably be the one to answer that. I opened the door slowly and quietly walked around the corner into a kitchen/dining area where there were three goons standing behind Suit who was tied to a chair like I was and the back of a well dressed man with bloody knuckles. Suit looked like he had gone a few rounds with a heavy weight champ or three.

"I know the full moon causes people to do crazy crap. I know my granny's cookies are the best in the tri-state area. I know I love wontons and I know that dancing relieves stress." I said as I approached the well dressed man. He spun around, the goons stiffened but he held up his hand to stop them.

"Nora Jean Camden." The well dressed man said. I looked at him. How could he possibly know my full name did Suit spill that easily? Then I squinted, there was something very familiar just beyond my memories to grasp. Then he said, "Panthers rule," to which I finished, "all others drool." That was our high school motto. Well not the official one, the adults wouldn't let it be official something about integrity and manners or something of the sort.

"Mikey? Michael Juan Gonzales Brown." I stated. He grimaced. Mikey's mom was hispanic but his dad was a white as a nordic viking. Mike was a good looking kid albeit scrawny kid. He grew into a handsome man. His mustache and goatee were well kempt and added to his edginess.

"I go by Mike now Nora. Nobody has called me Mikey in a long while." he said.

"You mean no one has called you Mikey since you shot the last person that dared." I guessed.

He blushed and looked away. Oh my goodness! He actually shot someone for calling him Mikey. I started laughing.

"Who would have thought that little Mikey who used to get shoved in lockers in middle school would be the Boss of several goons and command such notoriety?" I asked the room at large. "By the way, where do you get them?" I pointed at the goons. "Is there like a website "Goons R us' or maybe Mafia Men's Warehouse where they make them in test tubes?" I asked.

Five sets of eyes just looked at me. I shrugged. "I was just wondering. They all look alike. Storm trooper rejects?" I couldn't help adding.

Mike ignored my question, "Why don't you have a seat, Nora. We can talk."

"No thanks Mikey, I have been sitting for a while, I think I will stand." I smiled. "What time is it?" I asked suddenly.

Again with the five sets of eyes looking at me. I walked over to one of the Goons and lifted his wrist to look at his watch.

"8:37. " I said disappointedly. "I was really hoping more time had passed." I sighed. " I still have 3 hours and 23 minutes."

Mike looked at the goons, the goons looked at each other then at me.

"She doesn't like Valentine's day." Suit explained.

The goons nodded like they understood. Then Mike said suddenly, "Is that because you broke your collarbone in 4th grade when we were having a swinging contest?" he asked. "I won that you know." I rolled my eyes. He SOOOO did not win. I definitely jumped further but I landed on my neck weird and broke my collarbone so I did not get to argue the point at the moment. By the time I got back to school Mikey had told everyone he won and I was a baby because I cried about losing. I did cry but not because I lost. I took a deep calming breath. This is not the time to dispute the winner of a swing jumping contest that was twenty years ago.

"I see you are still compensating, Mikey." I said evenly. You didn't really think I could just let that go did you?

His face turned red and his eyes were shooting fire at me. I thought he was going to punch me so I loosened my stance to dodge but he got his anger under control and turned back to Suit. My next words had him turning back to me.

"Why did you kidnap us?" I asked. He looked taken aback by my question.

"I thought it was obvious." was his reply.

"Enlighten me. I don't want any miscommunication." I said as I turned to open the refrigerator. It had a bunch of take out containers, some beer and condiment packages. I closed it and turned to look through the cabinets. I found a glass. It was rather dirty so I turned on the faucet and rinsed it out before filling it up and gulping the whole glass of water down in one breath. I let out an obnoxious sigh and filled it again. I took it over to Suit and offered him some. He was frowning at me but he took the glass between his lips and drank greedily. I turned around to put the glass back in the sink and noticed Mikey looking at me like I had two heads and eyebrow piercings.

"What?" I asked. "I was thirsty. You obviously forgot the manners I know your momma taught you." He grabbed my bicep. I looked at his hand on my arm and then back up at him.

"She doesn't like that much." Suit spoke up. "I would advise you to remove your hand post haste." he advised.

"Post haste?" Mike asked, confused. "Who says 'post haste?'"

"He also says things like 'mortal danger,' but he gave you good advice." I added. Mike looked at me then removed his hand.

"You were telling me why we are spending our Friday evening in the company of three Goons and the Boss." I prompted.

"You broke into my warehouse, injured five of my men, tied up four and kidnapped my prisoners." His words got louder and his pitch got higher with each word.

I scoffed. "You are seriously upset that I kidnapped the people you kidnapped? Listen to the lunacy of that logic." I said. "It sounds like karma kicked your butt today. Don't put that on me."

We all just looked at each other for an uncomfortable amount of time. Mike, I am sure, was trying to find a hole in my logic, Suit was working his way free and I am not exactly sure what the goons were thinking but they were just standing there with blank expressions.

"Welp." I said after another beat. "You ready?" I asked Suit. He nodded.

"Where do you think you are going?" he asked.

"Me?"

"Yes you!" he yelled, clearly getting more exasperated by the minute.

"I am going home to take a very much needed bubble bath and then I will probably watch some sappy movie on the Hallmark channel until I fall asleep on my very comfortable bed." I said calmly as if I was telling Sally on the phone my plans for the evening. There is no way I am watching the Hallmark channel tonight but he didn't need to know that particular detail.

"I don't think so." Mike said as he grabbed my arm again.

"Mike." Suit said sharply. "I strongly advise you to stop grabbing her arm." Mike let go of me like my skin was riddled with leprosy. I smiled. I first thought Suit was protecting Mike from me but it sounded more like he was warning Mike off because of his wrath.

"See, Mike. Here is the deal. We are probably going to get a visit from Detective Troy and a whole bunch of police officers in about 10 to 15 minutes. It is Valentine's day. Bad things happen to me on Valentine's day. Troy worries about me. Troy will have texted me already several times and when I didn't reply he will then track my phone and discover it wherever I dropped it. He then will activate the tracker he has deposited on my person somewhere some time earlier this evening. I am sure that you do not want this little safe house to be discovered by the police just yet so you and your goons will vacate the premises and Suit and I will start walking in one of the four directions to get far enough away that they won't associate this house with where we were held against our will." I paused for effect looking at him intently. I actually have no idea if Troy put a tracker on my person but it sounds like something he would do so I went with it. My granny told me if you say something with enough confidence people will believe you. I jerked my arm out of Mike's hold and walked over to Suit who stood up. The three goons and Mike all just stared at him. I knew he was working his way loose. I smiled.

"Why do you call him Suit?" Mike asked.

"Because I don't know his name." I said smoothly. Suit smirked. Everyone else looked perplexed.

"Ready Jones?" he asked.

"Yep." I said popping the p.

Suit and I walked through the house to the living area where Suit grabbed his jacket. We exited via the front door without any hindrance. Once we got off the porch we both started running. I heard engines roar up heading in the opposite direction seconds later. Then I heard sirens. I love Troy.