Why Are You Here?

"You foolish, foolish girl," Kastien says yet again when we reach the castle in the early hours of the morning. Since I regained consciousness, he's done nothing but shove bread and water down my throat. I've sort of sobered up, but the left side of my face feels like someone threw a brick at it. Compliments of the Viper.

We walk up a dead hallway, the servants and staff having long since retired to their beds.

"It seemed like a good idea at the time," I say.

"Next time don't drink so much."

"That peasant ale is deceptively potent."

"All ale is potent when you have six glasses."

I wince as I tentatively touch the area around my eye. "I can't believe I bruised my best feature." I don't know what I'll do about the black eye. I'll need to work a miracle with my face powders to cover it up.

We reach my door, and Kastien drops his voice as he faces me. "All your features are the best. No other woman holds a candle to you."

He leans forward, kissing the black spot around my eye. When he pulls back, he looks down at my lips.

It was an incredible night. One I won't forget anytime soon. And Kastien is handsome. Far too handsome for his own good.

I raise a hand into his golden-brown hair, slide my fingers to the back of his head, about to draw him near.

But then I stop.

I'm here to woo the king. Not his childhood friend.

But would he really find out about one kiss?

It wouldn't be one kiss. I've no doubt Kastien is a fantastic kisser, and I'd be dragging him backward and into my room before long.

Do I want a kingdom or a tumble in the sheets? It shouldn't be so hard to make this decision. But it's been weeks since my last dalliance.

With a sigh, I let my hand drop. "Good night, Kastien. Thank you for tonight. I won't forget it."

A sad grin hits his lips, but ever the gentleman, he nods and strides down the hallway and away from me.

I already regret the decision as I'm left alone and cold in the empty corridor, but it is far too late to change my mind. I dig out my key from the wads of notes in my pocket and let myself into the room.

I kick off my shoes first, empty my pockets out onto a table.

Then I look up.

Kassian is in the room.

Fuck.

He is sitting on my bed, his legs crossed in front of him. His shirtsleeves are unbuttoned, but he still wears his gloves. No vest or jacket, but a small expanse of his upper chest shows without a cravat or top button done up.

Though he looks relaxed, he's perfectly alert.

"Did you have a pleasant evening?" he asks without looking at me, no hint of his mood to be found in his voice.

"I did."

"It would appear Kastien did as well. Why didn't you kiss him good night?"

He was listening. He had to be. Oh, I've never been more grateful for my courage in turning Kastien away.

"A lady never kisses after the first outing."

"So you wanted to?" Now his eyes snap upward. They narrow in on my black eye like an arrow honing for a target.

He rises and strides up to me. "What happened? Did Leandros—?"

"Of course not."

He raises a hand up to my face, and I hold perfectly still. A single gloved finger reaches forward and briefly brushes the skin beneath my eye. The leather is smooth and cold.

Kassian's hand tightens into a fist and drops to his side.

"He took me boxing."

"Boxing?"

"He took me to watch the matches. After I won several bets in a row on which player would beat the other, I decided to try my own hand at it."

Kassian looks as though someone has just presented him a question with an impossible answer. "Why? Why the fuck would you do that? You were beaten!"

I raise myself up tall. "Well, yes. But I had a marvelous time until then."

A breathy laugh escapes the king's lips, and I can tell the humor isn't kind.

"Why are you here?" I snap.

"I canceled my evening of meetings," he says. "I thought to surprise you by taking you out tonight. But you weren't anywhere to be found. I thought to wait for you."

"How many hours have you spent sitting on my bed?"

He runs his fingers through his hair in an angry swipe.

"Why would you spend the evening with Kastien?"

"Does it matter who I spent the evening with? He's kind and fun and actually has time for me." I argue, a flame of challenge clear in my eyes. I think I can surely feel some of my powers.

Maybe they are not gone after all.

Kassian is quiet for a moment, likely trying to come up with his next argument. I don't give him the chance.

"I agreed to your scheme," I say. "I'm playing the part of your beau. But you know what else came with the deal, Kassian? Friendship. You promised me a friend in you. You weren't delivering. I had to seek friendship elsewhere."

"You have RIsana and Hanisa," he says.

"Risana and Hanisa aren't going to ask me to dance at parties. Do you know that no men will approach me? I'm off limits. It's as if I have contracted the plague."

He's silent.

"Kastien and his friends are the only ones who treat me like a person rather than the future queen. Do you know why they empathize with me? Why they befriended me? Because they, too, know what it's like for you to call them friends and then cast them aside." I feel hot tears, I am not supposed to feel.

"Maybe I was tempted to kiss Kastien. Maybe I'm lonely. Surely you know what that's like!"

Kassian recoils, as though I slapped him. I don't feel sorry. Not one bit.

"I'm not a fucking doll that you can dress up and leave alone until you're ready to play with me, Kassian. I'm a person. And if you can't respect that, I'll pack my things and leave tomorrow."

Oh, I really hope it's not the last of the ale talking. Surely it's my sensible mind, knowing that Kallias won't call my bluff. That he'll apologize and beg me to stay. That he'll change his ways and start paying me attention.

Or perhaps I couldn't control the threat, drunk or not. Kassian angers me in a way no person ever has. Not even Death.

I hold my breath, waiting for him to say something.

The king's shadows flare, like flames engulfing his whole body. He turns without looking back and leaves, melting through the wall of solid stone.

Oh dear.

What have I done?

I fall into bed. Despite how terribly wrong everything is going, I can't help but lose myself to exhaustion. Boxing, combined with the late hour, practically drags my mind away into oblivion.

But just before I go, the skin about my blackened eye warms. Not with pain. Not from the memory of the kiss pressed there.

But at the ghost of a gloved hand.

***

My head throbs badly soon as I'm awake. It's a wonderful combination of too much ale and a poor night's sleep.

And on top of that, everything has unraveled.

What choice do I have but to follow up on my threat and order the servants to begin packing my things? The words burn through my throat as I give the orders, and I snap at two different footmen who move too slowly for my liking.

After a moment, I realize this is a job that will take hours.

There's no point in my waiting around to watch them finish. I should try to go about my day as normal.

Risana and Hanisa hold a conversation while I stare at the empty seat at the head of the long table in the great hall.

Kassian isn't there.

Will I see him again before I leave?

And why the devils am I waiting for my things to be packed before leaving? They will arrive at my father's estate whether I accompany them or not.

Actually, I suppose I'm not going back to the main kingdom.How can I after insisting I didn't need him?

And honestly, I'd rather not see his face too soon. No, I'll go to an inn. Stay on my own for a while until I can rethink everything.

That chair remains empty during the entire luncheon. Of course he doesn't want to see me. I've lost him. I've lost a throne, a crown, the admiration of a kingdom, the power of being a queen.

I take my time returning to my rooms after spending the afternoon in the sitting room sewing. As though some brilliant plan to salvage everything will come to me if I just have enough time.

What am I going to do? Am I really letting myself lose everything?

First, I should probably take a look at my eye to see if the face powder is still doing its job to cover my bruise. Then—I don't know what will come next.

If my room is all packed, I'll leave. If not, I'll dally a little longer.

I let myself in, dreading the fact that I don't hear the flurry of feet. They must be done! But as I walk through my rooms, I find the unexpected.

It's as if I'd never ordered anything's removal. The room has been cleaned. The bed made. The furniture dusted. But the wardrobe is still full of my clothes. The vanity holds all my cosmetics.

Nothing is packed.