2.1 THE BRIDGE: Burning the Bridge

'My dearest Magnolia,

Your name itself sounded like the flowers that bloom under the bright sun. Every spring, I think of you. That honey golden hair, sweet emerald eyes, and cheeks that kissed softly by the wind, making it slightly pinkish in color.

I longed to be the prince that would sweep you off your feet and bring you to the castle of your dreams. The man that would someday be able to walk with you when we should become one in front of the altar, but for now, it was only in my dreams.

I longed to kiss you, wrapped you in my arms in the cold rain as it drenched our bodies, and savor the warmth that was emitted from the joining of them.

Say that you love me, too, my love, and I would forever be betrothed to you alone...

Love,

Marvin'

"Shit!" I cursed as I almost wanted to crumple the so-called love letter in my hand. But I knew I could not since Marvin would definitely feel devastated. Sighing, I looked over the letter once again and I almost wanted to cry.

Why should I be the one to do this? Why did I agree to do this?

'Because you loved him,' my mind dictated.

My mind and heart battled within me as I stared at the letter. What should I do? Should I follow my jealous heart and crumple the paper, or let my mind dictate me not to do it and just let my conscience continue to haunt me?

I sighed in frustration as I pocketed the letter. I wanted to tell him for so long. Tell him I loved him, but how? We have been friends forever, and I knew he would never look at me the same way he looked at her.

Magnolia... her name matched her beauty. Honey golden hair with emerald eyes and perfect pink lips made any boy drool over her. She was probably a goddess in her past life as she would walk in an aisle full of boys and every one of them would kiss the ground she walked on.

I sighed. I could never be like her. I don't even wear a dress. She, however, look lovely in dresses as it swirls every time she turns around to greet me.

Magnolia had only been my friend this school year. She was a transferee from St. Joseph's School. She was shy and reserved. Most often I see her sitting by herself in the cafeteria on the first day of school. So, I being one of the friendliest girls in our batch, decided to welcome the new girl. I befriended here and soon, we did a lot of things together for a year. It could have been nice until Marvin showed up at my school one day.

"Who's your new friend?" he asked, as his eyes focused on her.

Magnolia smiled at him as she clutched her books on her chest, her signature post ever since I met her.

Marvin smiled widely back at her, and I suddenly felt uneasy. Why did I suddenly feel like I am an outsider? They looked like they were immersed in their own little world as they stared at each other. Were his eyes twinkling? God! Why?

I snapped my fingers in between them, and suddenly they looked away. Magnolia's cheeks blushed while my best friend Marvin scratched his head. I rolled my eyes. Clearly, my dear friend was having a crush on Magnolia.

"This is Magnolia. Magnolia, meet my best friend, Marvin," I introduced.

"Nice to meet you, Magnolia," said Marvin smoothly as he laid out his hand, she took it as she smiled.

From then on, my best friend had bugged me what are the things Magnolia likes.

"Does she have a boyfriend?" he asked me one day as we stood over the mini-bridge that connected our street to his. Our families had always been close since we were kids and the bridge had been our own little sanctuary whenever we wanted to talk about stuff. Today, the topic had been about my beautiful friend again as Marvin continued to ask me so many questions about her.

"Why don't you ask her?" I replied irritatedly.

"Why are you mad at me?"

"You kept asking me about her, stupid! What do you think I should feel?"

"Well, you and she are friends and I thought-"

"And you thought what?"

"Well... I don't know how to say it but..."

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms as he gave me a letter. I stared at it, angrily questioning it.

"What the hell was that?"

"I was going to ask you a favor.."

Oh shit! Why did I feel so nervous all of a sudden? My mind knew what he was going to ask and I felt suddenly pushing him off the bridge.

"I was going to ask you-" and I raised my hand to stop him from talking.

"A love letter? Are you insane?"

"Well... you know how I get all nervous whenever I like a girl."

"Why don't you just straight up ask her out? Why use me to be your messenger?"

Marvin sighed. "Rose... please... just this once. I promise I won't ask you any more favors."

"Marvin, you know what happened last time I delivered a letter to one of your crushes, right?"

He nodded. "But-"

"Remember, Christa?"

"Yes but that girl-"

"Was a lesbian! That damn girl kissed me on the lips upon receiving your letter, telling me she would have me instead of you."

He laughed.

"It's not funny, Marvin," and I punched his arm.

"What? Look, if you tried to even wear make-up or dress like a girl then maybe she would not think you are a guy."

I gave him a sullen glance. "Moron!"

He laughed again and placed his arm around my shoulder.

"Look, Rose! You're pretty and smart, okay. But-"

I pushed him. "Stop it! If you think telling me these would change my mind, it won't."

"C'mon, Rose. I have never liked a girl like this before. She was just... different."

I looked away...

'Different... so does that mean I'm ordinary?' I thought as I tried to hide the hurt. As much as I tried to hide it, I suddenly felt jealous. I hated how every time he falls for a girl, I just wanted to cry. Maybe it was me who wished that someday he would see past how I looked and see right through my heart. But no, he was so blind...

"Penny for your thoughts," a deep male voice spoke to me as I looked up who it was. There he was with his beautiful blue eyes staring at me. His smile was etched on his face as it curved from ear to ear. I knew right away, there was something different about him.

"You look scary like Joker by the way you smile," I teased as I grinned, trying to hide the tears that threatened to fall awhile ago.

He chuckled as he pretend-punch my cheek.

"What are you doing sulking here, Rose?"

"Nothing," I replied and turned around. I did not want him to see me like this but after reading that last letter for Magnolia, my heart just sank low. I could not bear it any longer. I needed to tell him how I feel before it's too late.

"Rose-"

"Marvin-"

We called at the same time and laughed.

"You first," he urged.

"No, you first. I think you have a more important thing to say," I told him.

"Okay...well.. since you asked, I think I should tell you now.."

"I lost the letter," I blurted out.

"You did?"

"Yeah, I... it must have slipped when I got my wallet this morning riding the bus."

"I see..." and he lowered his gaze. "Did you do it on purpose?"

"W-why would I do that?"

"I don't know," and he rubbed the nape of his neck. "Maybe to push me to tell her directly."

I gulped. Did he finally confess to her? But...

"I called her a while ago, Rose."

Call? Right, I gave him her landline. Did he try to call her?

'Shit!' I cursed in my mind. Why did I ever give him her number? So stupid of me.

"Oh," was all I could say. I felt my heart was about to bleed. I wonder what they talked about. Did he confess to her on the phone... did they...

"I did a thing," he said and smiled sheepishly.

"Y-You did what?"

"I told her... I needed to know if she likes me, too."

"And?"

"She said... yes."

I was speechless. My heart suddenly stopped pumping and before I could make a fool out of myself, I tried to walk away from him.

"Rose!" he called as I started a few steps and he grabbed my arm. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to burn the bridge," I replied, as I turned my head towards him. Tears slowly trickled down my eyes. I could not stop them anymore. It was too painful.

"Rose... what's wrong? Did I do something wrong?" and he was about to close the gap between us when I spoke to him in anger.

"Stop being nice!" I shouted. "Just stay away."

I pulled my arm from him as I walked away back to my house. Marvin followed, calling me.

"What do you mean you want to burn the bridge? What's going on, Rose? I am getting confused."

"Shit!" I cursed and stop. Then I walked back to him, gathering all my courage as I stood before him.

"I hate you!" I spat out. "How can you be so blind, huh?"

In my anger, I pushed him.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Rose? What did I do to you?

"What did you do, huh?! You're so fucking blind, Marvin! I cannot do this anymore. I cannot be your bridge and watch you join paths with the one you love. I cannot just stand here and continue to be the third wheel.. a tag along to compensate me for all the things I have done for you as a friend. I have to burn the bridge cause I cannot be there for you anymore... I am done!"

Tears continued to flow from my eyes as I started to walk away from him but he grabbed my arm and held my shoulders.

"Wait, Rose! Are you saying-"

"I love you, Marvin. I have loved you for so long and I'm sorry if I cannot be happy for you because it just hurts so much... So now, I need to burn the bridge so I don't need to feel this pain anymore...then maybe when the time comes, we can rebuild it together again. But for now...let me go."

"But Rose-"

"I don't want pity from you, Marvin, and it's okay. You didn't do anything wrong. it's just hard for me to accept all this. I have tried so many times not to feel anything but my heart was so stubborn and it still beats only for you."

Marvin stared at me. I could tell in his eyes he was desperate to comfort me, to save whatever friendship we had but I cannot let him anymore.

Not when my other friend was involved. A friend who was much prettier and different from me.

They look so good together. He was handsome, and she was pretty, while I am just...ordinary.

"Rose...let's talk about this. I cannot lose my best friend."

"I know, Marvin, but...I am not your best friend anymore. I cannot be... and it will always be different. I'm sorry."

I took his hands off my shoulders and I left him standing over the bridge.