Chapter 2 - Fine Dining

Tuesday brought grey clouds and a cold wind, biting at the students' collars. Casey hadn't pitched for school that day, he was away on one of his checkups, a psychological evaluation to assess how his psyche was holding up. Mentally, he wasn't the most fortunate; he struggled with clinical depression and psychosis, such that he could grow distant from reality. In severe cases, he could slip into an episode, but that was quite rare, all in all he handled and conducted himself very well, practically flawless at surface level. His only telltale sign was the highly disorganised nature of his school work, particularly with how he battled with deadlines. The turmoil of his mind shone through in how he was incapable of handing assignments in on time, and only had class files for half his subjects. Projects would go missing at the worst times and pop up weeks later, mostly printed last minute by the school library. Excuses would spread like wildfire, compounding upon each other, while he would explain away his shortcomings as if piecing the story together for the first time as he told it. The explanation was as fractured as his mind, a mystery to him and others alike. It was, however, a fertile source of perfectly inappropriate humour for Lex and Casey's long standing friendship. It was a rhythmic nature to banter about it between themselves, a way for him to make light of his otherwise dire situation, easing the pressure and channeling it out in the best form possible: a laugh. It made reality less daunting at the end of the day. Lex felt that he even normalized him a bit, at times when Casey tried too hard to own his role as twisted psycho. 

Lex sat alone on the benches that morning, sketching faces and different parts of the body, practicing drawing his anatomy. Art was one of his four main passions, and like his singing, he couldn't do without it. The remaining two, dancing and acting, helped form what could be considered the four pillars of his utmost expression. 

"Lexyy boi, whats up" a voice called. A girl with burnished orange hair, light eyes and quirky smile approached. Her hair was up in a strategically messy bun, with even more strategic flowers stuck all about it. It was a gorgeous sight, a kind of a fairy-like aesthetic that intrigued the viewer. She was dressed in her school trackpants and white t-shirt with black pumps, an easy going mix of their schools 'pick and choose' multiform. She sat on the bench opposite Lex, crossing her legs on top of it with her arms in the middle of them, elbows outward. She topped it all off with a cute smile as she crinkled her eyes shut adorably, her button nose caught snugly in the expression.  

"Hey Liz" Lex smiled back "i'm sketching some human-beans"

He held up the piece of paper, displaying his work. 

Eliza nodded back "Those are some cool beans" 

Lex cringed at the pun. 'Beans' was their better suited replacement, as far as they thought, of 'beings', nothing better for some unique conversation.

"Sooo, i have an interesting debate coming up, which i'm excited about" she said, airing a more stately manner "It's 'this house would aim to cancel JK Howling and her works'"  

Lex frowned "What did she do?" 

"She is a TERF, with transphobic ideals and racist. We'll be exploring the benefits of boycotting her works and straying from the promotion of them" 

Lex didn't press for the details on the author's offence, preferring not to spark a flame in the embers of Eliza's righteousness.   

"Anything gay or political hey" he said grinning "draws you in like a moth to a flame" 

"That's right" she declared, shooting awkward finger guns at him.  

"I don't think she's racist" a boy called, a quizzical look on his face. That was Eliza's brother Bill; he'd obviously overheard their conversation as he approached.

"Name one person of colour in Harry Potter?" she asked, neck high. 

Bill's brow furrowed, eyes upward in thought. "Ya i guess you're right" he confirmed, brushing his thin blonde hair from his face. He was tall and lanky, but with a strong subtle build to his upright form. He took a seat next to his sister, stooped over, elbows on his knees. Eliza turned her attention to a book she'd brought with her, quickly losing herself in the pages. 

"I wanna get us together for another DnD session" Bill said pointedly to Lex, swaying from side to side. Lex had been lured by Bill to indulge in the rich adventure of Dungeons and Dragons: a role playing board game that was less board game and more intensive imagination. Coupled with too-many-sided dice and obsessive nerds, it was essentially a bunch of people sitting around, imagining fantastical scenarios that were, admittedly, quite well described to them by the game facilitator: The Dungeon Master. There's no denying that the title sounds skeptically kinky, and for a game that originated in the '80s, thought by parents to be the source of demon worshipping, it was more than a little questionable. Fortunately, those parents came to the realisation that their kids were in fact, just a bunch of nerds. But hey, at least they're not sacrificing random goats by candlelight in their parents basement, with a skew pentagram painted on their forehead. Things were looking up. Lex and Bill simply embraced the gloriously nerdy ambience of DnD. After all it was Einstein who said imagination was more powerful than knowledge.  

"It would be nice to retreat to the world of DnD" Lex replied.

"Indeed, although you need to make sure your schedule is clear" he said arching his eyebrow, widening his eyes and staring down at Lex, mustering as much of an overbearing and ominous air as possible. 

"It's...clear," Lex said, guiltily dipping his head. 

"Mmm, cause you're always off to a gig at the last minute" Bill said wagging a pen at him. 

  *

After music class, Lex received confirmation of Gary's inclusion in their performance from the hermit himself, and sent a text to Casey that read: 'The hermit is on board'. 

Seems like we did it Casey replied. 

Oh definitely 

Hope he doesn't mess up 

he won't, i think 

They had a short set list, just four songs, three of which Gary knew. The fourth they'd entrusted to Gary's perfect pitch to pick up on and play the right notes. Winging it would have to suffice. 

We'll wing it till we make it Lex said with the dumbest smiley face he could find. 

It's fake it till we make it smart ass 

Ah, knew it sounded funny 

*

Second break found Lex consoling his friend Treya, who had a rather anxious and troubled disposition at times. She, however, made up for it in her loyal companionship and boisterous character, built from hard hitting experience that taught her to care very little about what others thought. With no filter and near raunchy humour, she could have you doubled over at the worst time about the worst things. This was mostly a protective reflex against underlying pain; it could make her difficult and stubborn, but she was altogether precious in her brokenness. 

"It's hard dude, it's like a part of me really relied on that relationship" Treya admitted, head slumped in her hand. 

Lex squinted off to the side, thinking. "It's important to find your individualism, your significant other is a mere additive to your overall picture, not the whole picture, you get me?" he said eventually, making eye contact.

"But he completed me" she said in a singsong voice, rolling her eyes. This bitterness was partly towards herself and what she felt was her own foolishness, that the cliche was more true than she'd like to admit. 

"You're not a darn puzzle Treya, stop looking for your supposed missing pieces" Lex said with a chuckle "those pieces are ones you simply hide away, ones you can't face, while you search for fulfillment in others" 

"It's just, I feel betrayed. I invested so much, just for it to be dropped last minute by a guy too scared to deal with the pressure of a committed relationship" 

"You've said it before yourself, you were too dependent, it was one sided. Yes, you did your part and it was a potential paradise, but youth is a funny thing, we think we're ready for commitment when we're not. He skimped on an opportunity because he simply wasn't ready, trust me i know, my ex wasn't ready either. It's about finding your individuality again when the maturity to handle those connections is scarce. I can now rekindle my holistic connection to my music, refocus and remember what it's like to lose myself in what I love." 

"Fuck, you talk too much, it's fine i'll just become a stripper, or a nun, neither require relational commitment"

Lex planted his face in his hands as he tried to hide the grin, "Those are two very different things, but ok"

"I can pole dance or take a holy pilgrimage to an abbey for this self discovery thing"

"Glad to see we've made progress" Lex said, it was his turn to roll his eyes.

She let out a rattled and self-conscious laugh. 

"But how have you been coping since you and Ayanda split?" she asked, observing him. 

"It isn't easy, time passes but she's a fresh reminder when I pass her in the corridors."

"That sucks, I'm glad my ex doesn't attend this school" 

"Ya it can be rough, but i guess it prevents me from hiding from the pain you know. I'm confronted with it almost daily that I have no choice but to deal with the hurt even when I think I'm not." 

"Hmph, well someone seems to be managing well enough" 

"I do my best!," Lex said, lifting his chin with a giant fake smile.  

Treya tossed a crumpled wad of paper at him as he ducked.

 "Ha! Missed m-" A second piece of paper smacked his nose as he came up again. 

Treya laughed, her hand hitting the table with delight. 

Lex shook his head, grabbed the paper and tossed it back; it ricocheted off her glasses plopping onto the table. This only made her laugh harder. 

Lex sighed. "Anyway, i feel good things are on the way, I think i might have a band forming" 

"Oh thats cool, Gary joining you guys?" She asked, composing herself. 

"Yeah, looking forward to some fine dining tomorrow."

"Fine dining?" 

"We're performing at Winchester's tomorrow evening." 

"Winchester's isn't fine dining Lex, it's more pub and grill."

"Well it sure will be once we've set the tone for the evening." his eyebrows darted smoothly up and down.

"You play mostly rock music, you're not setting a mood or a tone for that matter, you're just reminding drunk white people that their music still exists here in South Africa" 

"Are you trying to burst my bubble"

"You make it too easy" 

Lex narrowed his eyes spitefully and glanced down. "My drunk white people" he muttered to himself. 

"Oh I'm sorry you can keep them by all means" 

Lex grinned. He wasn't fully white himself but he knew how true it was that the genre belonged mostly to them. 

"I'll just have to be off to America some day, make my debut as a new and improved rockstar" he said, arms out. 

"Wish you luck with that" she replied, standing as the bell rang. 

*

Wednesday was less a school day as it was Lex daydreaming about his coming performance. He hummed and drummed tunes on his desk from class to class, immersed in the sound of imaginary music. 6pm that evening they'd arrive at Winchester's and be performing by 6:30. 

"So, I see you've returned from the Asylum," Lex said casually. Him and Casey were in the tuckshop that first break, sitting on vibrant plastic chairs and leaning on the silver table. 

"Ya got bored so I escaped, " Casey replied calmly. 

"What, the straightjackets didn't quite do it for you?"

"No they didn't, not tight enough I reckon." 

"Ah, I do like 'em tight." Lex nodded to himself as he said it, adopting a look of sympathy for the 'unfortunate' conditions. 

"See you get me."

"I do yes."

"No fun when it's loose." 

"No fun at all." Lex tipped his head back, proceeding to drop a fried chip into his mouth, and abruptly missed. It instead smacked onto his forehead. Lex sighed and peeled it off, dangling it before him and squinting at it skeptically, as if it were somehow at fault. 

"Chip's obviously broken," Casey said with a gesture, seemingly answering Lex's unspoken question as if it were common sense. 

Lex nodded, satisfied with the deduction and finally ate it. He glanced to his side and sharply returned his gaze to his fries, eyes down, expression fixed. Casey looked in the same direction, curious, and caught Ayanda walking past. 

"Don't think you ever told me how things ended between you two" Casey said leaning forward. 

"Nothing dramatic, it was a fairly clean break actually, I understood her reasons for ending the relationship. The drama lies in what happened that very night, a mere six hours after the break up" Lex said with a hard swallow as he rotated the styrofoam cup of fries. 

"What happened?" Casey asked, watching him closely.

Lex leaned back in his chair and gazed upward, remembering the night, and recounted the events to Casey. 

There had been a party that night, one Lex had been anticipating and had only found out a few days before that Ayanda would also be there. When he had heard the news, he thought he'd scored a fun night with his girlfriend, but of course that wouldn't be the case. Maybe he shouldn't have gone out that night, maybe it was a mistake attributed to his pained yearning to see her again, before everything slipped away. He knew going to a party in his emotional state was a pointless exercise, but he couldn't help it. Perhaps he could, just possibly, still enjoy himself he had thought. Although maybe, he should've known what was in store for him. 

Anxious anticipation bubbled and broiled inside him as he stood outside the gates, awaiting entry to his friend's house. Just as the tall metal gates creaked open, Ayanda's car pulled up and she got out with her friends, girlish excitement crackling between them like electricity. It quickly turned into awkward tension as they caught sight of Lex in the driveway. Ayanda was dressed in a tight fitting maroon top tucked into black denim shorts, a jet black handbag slung over her shoulder. She darted past him, guiltily scuttling up the driveway, her friends following closely behind. Lex blanked at the sight of them, belatedly restarting his brain as he too made his way up. He took a seat on one of the coaches on the dimly lit patio. His nerves were on edge, grinding together.

 A tall salamander of a guy took a seat near Lex, he had a dark brown beard peppered with ginger flecks and distinctively long hands. His name was Damon Weakley, he used to be Lex's closest friend, before they had an excruciating fallout a month before. They shook hands, a gesture of basic decency and maturity, one that broke the ice and offered base level respect. It was a mutual understanding to ensure both of them an easy night, so it seemed.  

Vibrant neon burst about in the dark of the living room, bright beams shooting across the walls. The multi-coloured lights pulsed in time with the music like a heartbeat. The night began in an explosion of colours. Lex was confined most of the night to the coach, trying some wine in the attempt to calm himself. Eliza kept him company, she offered a small bit of sanity amongst his inner turmoil. Lex got up a few times to dance, letting his body get lost in the music, but his mind and heart weren't in it. He of all people could really bust a move, but under the surface he squirmed. He returned to the patio, aimlessly making his way around to the side of the house. There was a venter trailer there and he abruptly stepped back, catching sight of Damon's leg peeking out behind it. He was obviously crouched on the floor, undoubtedly using the trailer as cover while he got busy with whomever. Lex backbeddled, that's how parties worked after all, and he had no intention of disturbing two hormonal teens sucking face. As he walked back however, he caught a glimpse of them in the mere sliver of vision between the trailer and the wall of the house. The fleeting sight churned his insides as his mind censored the image, he wouldn't comprehend it, he simply couldn't. Why would such a thing be the case, no, it was a glimpse, nothing concrete. He continued away, and instead stood at the railing on the patio, overlooking the garden. 

He was greeted by an old friend, one he used to attend primary school with, his name was Jake. He was shorter than Lex, but broad and strong where Lex was more thinned out, with sandy hair and an easy enough personality. Eliza joined them but Lex wasn't much for talking, so they moved off, carried away by their own conversation. 

Lex was rooted in his position, trapped in thought, what had he seen. Movement up ahead however, pulled him from the recesses of his mind, and he watched as a clump of small trees was unnaturally disturbed. Damon abruptly launched himself from amongst the trees in a half gallop, proceeding to lie on the grass and feign nonchalance in the most non nonchalant way possible. That was one of his defining traits: his awkwardness. And with it being so utterly profound, the pieces fit together with painful clarity when he saw Ayanda emerge a moment later to address her friends, ones who had obviously made Damon self-conscious when they neared him and Ayanda. Lex's hands burned and his head swam, he turned to find Eliza.

"Liz" Lex said, grasping her arm, "I um, i think Damon hooked up with Ayanda" 

"What!?" Eliza replied in a sharp whisper. 

"Twice, im sure caught a glimpse of them round the house behind the trailer, and just now they both emerged from behind trees in the garden after Ayanda's friends approached, they'd obviously scared Damon cause he emerged first, overly awkward in that stupid way he is when hes been up to shit" Lex rattled the information out, his jaw tense, muscles strained. He didn't know what to do with his hands, so he shoved them in his pockets. 

"Look, i don't think that's enough for you to go on ok." Eliza said trying to soothe him, "You're stressed and worked up and tonight hasn't been easy for you"

"Oh come on Eliza, you know teenagers" he said, a tinge of venom to his words, "If two are found alone in a secluded area at a party, eleven times out of ten they're hooking up"

"But you don't know for sure Lex" She insisted. There was however fear in her eyes, she didn't want to admit that he was probably right. She could see he was slipping. "You don't know for sure ok" 

Lex breathed, fists balled tightly. Eliza rubbed his arms while he tried to centre himself. Two of Ayanda's friends passed by, looking around, slightly anxious and jittery. 

"Where's Ayanda?" The first said through gritted teeth.

"Probably still kissing Damon" the other muttered back.

They had to squeeze past Lex and Eliza, close enough for them to catch the conversation. Lex shook with anger, it pulsated through him, shut off his cortex and rewired him for retaliation. Eliza became distraught, keeping her eyes on Lex and holding him firmly. 

"I'm going to confront him, ask him why he did it," Lex said, his gaze already searching. 

"Lex, listen to me, you can't approach Damon" Eliza said, her tone urgent.

"No, I have to find him." 

"Lex!" Lex shrugged off her grip as he moved past her. The tide of people coming their way slowed her down as Lex disappeared, looking for Damon. 

"Damon, we need to talk," Lex called when he spotted him, Damon however turned, trying to get away. This made Lex all the more determined to catch up to him. He lost sight of Damon for a while, scouring through the mass of bodies before he finally saw him in the lounge, stiffly cradling a beer on the dance floor. Lex made a beeline for Damon, zeroing in on his target. He saw Eliza emerge from the crowd on his right, dragging Jake along with her. The lights illuminated the room in fits and starts, as Lex observed Damon's uncomfortable expression. He stopped before him, his expression stony, eyes burning, he finally had him cornered. Eliza stood beside Lex, stern but uneasy, hand placed gingerly on his shoulder. 

"Lex leave him" Eliza urged, speaking slowly. 

"Wait!" Lex snapped. 

Damon shuffled awkwardly, eyes unfocused and wandering. 

"Did you hook up with Ayanda?" Lex asked plainly.

"Maybe." A smile. Damon actually smiled when he said it. It was a slight, perhaps automatic upward twitch in the corner of his mouth, derived from some sick pleasure he couldn't help expressing.

Lex's anger turned to blank white fury, but he wanted him to admit to it, and so he took to a more direct question."Did you kiss Ayanda" Lex pressed. God knows he did more than that.

"Yes." That's it, those were the words, those sweet words: permission. Lex bolted forward like an animal, and, as if on cue, Jake snagged his arms along with Eliza and they hauled him back. Lex produced a guttural sound of frustration, pushing madly to get free. They dragged him to the nearest room where he kicked and shouted to be free, but they held him down relentlessly. He managed, once,to force himself free through sheer will and brute force, but was again caught by Jake, who was simply stronger.  

"Listen, broh, he's not worth it," Jake said panting. 

"I don't care" lex said fuming 

"He's bigger than you anyway what are you expecting to happen"

"It's Damon for god's sake! He's not a fighter, he's scared and he's never fought a day in his life, I knew him for three years, I know the guy, he doesn't have the backbone to face me" Lex shouted.

"Lex, please, just chill. When you've calmed down we'll let you go" Eliza said softly. 

It was nearly fifteen minutes stuck in that room, and possibly the longest fifteen minutes of Lex's life. 

"Shit that's hectic," Casey said, processing the information. 

"Yeah" lex replied, head off to the side and face still, his eyes clouded with the memory. 

"You know if that was me i wouldn't have held you back right." 

"Ya i know, you love a good show." 

"Damn right, would've found popcorn too to complete the experience." 

*

That evening, Lex stepped out into the pale glare of the streetlights outside Winchesters, guitar slung over his shoulder, hair down and flung to one side. The restaurant had a large patio for its outside seating, splashes of water littered about it in dark reflective pools from a recent rain. 

Inside, Lex set his guitar down in the corner with the rest of the music setup. Casey was at a table with his father, who had organised the gig for them; he was a round man with a hearty personality, the kind just looking for a feel-good time. Lex sat down with them; Casey was dressed in a black t-shirt with an unbuttoned checkered shirt over it and dark jeans, his hair falling forward in an emo-like fringe. Lex ordered a side of chips while they waited; warm aromas of fresh food swam in the air, thick and welcoming. 

Nathan arrived shortly, lugging his keyboard and stand to the front of the setup which sat snuggled into the far corner and opened up to the rest of the restaurant. 

"Hey guys, you ready" Gary asked, awkwardly shuffling towards them; his neck was uncomfortably tucked into his shoulders, his arms stiff at his sides and his fingers wriggling in his pockets. He wore a faded gray shirt and blue jeans.

"Ya", Cameron said easily; he slouched over his phone as he said it, barely looking up. 

Gary exhaled with a nervous smile, standing a bit longer before taking a seat at the table with the rest of them.