Episode 93 - Why?

With his guitar on his back and kickball in hand, Amari took a deep breath before heading up the steps to the elementary school. At the top, he heard little footsteps and the jingle of bells, so he crouched down to greet the child racing toward him.

"Li gēge!" Taitai exclaimed, running into his open arm. "Miss Julie said to bring you to the classroom."

He smiled and Taitai grabbed his hand, dragging him down the hallway and into a room on the right. It smelled exactly like a classroom should, with chalk, crayons, and markers, packed lunches and snacks, faint rubber from floor mats, a hint of cleaner, and of course, children. He couldn't quite describe the smell of children, but whatever it was, he knew it well.

It was noisy, kids chattering away. Some hushed when he entered and others only grew louder, interested in the new visitor. Miss Julie clapped from behind her desk in the corner and Taitai led Amari to a chair at the front of the room. After removing his guitar case and placing the rubber ball beside it, he took Taitai and sat, placing him securely onto his lap. It was a natural reaction, but this time it was also like a safety blanket, something to make him more comfortable before a strange group of six- and seven-year-olds he couldn't see.

"Alright everyone, take your seats," Julie instructed loudly, clapping again for everyone's attention. "Today we are going to have Taitai's show-and-tell. As you can see, he brought a person with him, so this will be the only show-and-tell we have today."

There were little footsteps running around, chairs being pulled and pushed, and the banging of things being shoved into desks. After a few hushes from their teacher, there was only quiet breathing.

"So, Taitai, since this is your show-and-tell, I'll let you introduce our visitor to the class." Julie took a seat at her desk and Taitai cleared his throat.

"This is Li gēge," Taitai announced, his mix of excitement and seriousness making Amari smile. "I asked him for my show-and-tell 'cause he's really fire. He's blind, so he can't see, and he teaches blind kids to play guitar, and to do other stuff."

There were a few murmurs and Julie hummed quietly. "Taitai, why don't you introduce him to your friends first, and then you can talk about what he does?"

"Oh, okay." Amari chuckled lightly behind him, too familiar with this process of coaxing information from a distracted child. "Uh, his name is Amari, but I call him Li gēge, 'cause he's my ba's friend. Oh. My dad's friend. And gēge means big brother... umm, but, also it's a friend? Oh, but! Him and my dad are gonna get married! So then he'll be my new dad." Taitai was eager to say it, even though he couldn't explain it very well, and Amari squeezed him a bit tighter.

There were a few more murmurs and then a low voice came from a child in the back. "So, you're gonna have two dads?" the child asked, sounding confused and a bit snotty.

::And there it is,:: thought Amari, wondering what he should say in reply. He found he didn't need to say anything. Taitai jumped back at him immediately.

"Yeah, so?"

"Having two dads is weird," the child said.

"Why?" Taitai asked. He wasn't angry or offended. Instead, he was genuinely curious why someone would say that.

"'Cause you're s'posed to have a mom and a dad."

"Why?"

"'Cause that's who parents are s'posed to be." The child was beginning to get aggravated at the multiple 'why' questions.

"Why?" Amari couldn't hold in a smile at the powerful argumentative skills of a six-year-old. "Parents are people who love you and take care of you. Who cares if they are dads or moms, hein?" He wanted to kiss him, but just sat holding him on his lap, grinning.

"But it's weird," the child repeated, frustrated but losing confidence, obviously learning that children have a mom and dad, but not learning why that was right.

"Some kids don't have a mom OR a dad," Taitai shot back. "But I have TWO dads who are fire."

::Fuck yeah, Taitai.::

There was a light groan from another student on the other side of the room. "Yeah, who cares? Be quiet, Andy."

Perhaps Andy already had a reputation in the class, because there were murmurs among the other children after she spoke. Julie clapped again from her desk and the children calmed down.

"Enough of that. It doesn't matter how many dads Taitai has. We are here for his show-and-tell, so let him talk." She made some kind of gesture toward Taitai and told him to continue.

"Ēn. So, umm, Li gēge is really cool, 'cause he's blind." Taitai was back to being excited again, barely phased by the interruption, his voice growing higher and louder. "He can't see, but he still does everythin' on his own. And he works at a school with kids who are blind. He teaches them guitar, and sings songs... And they learn all the stuff we do. 'Cept they can't read, so they use bray-elle. It's like, bumpy letters. 'Cause they can't see, they've gotta touch things."

Taitai barely paused to take a breath.

"Oh, and Li gēge helps old kids who are blind. So they can take care of themselfs. And he tells parents stuff about blind kids..." He trailed off, trying to think of more things to say, and Amari huffed a quiet laugh, hugging him to his chest.

"Taitai, why don't you explain what's special about having Amari as your dad?"

Julie had already discussed with him days earlier that once Taitai gave an introduction, she would refer to Amari as his father. It was the easiest and least confusing thing to do for small children, so he had agreed, but he didn't realize how good that single word would feel.

"How about your bells?"

"Oh!" Taitai shook a foot to ring one of the bells. "Umm, my friends asked me already... But, I hafta wear bells on my shoes. Li gēge can't see with his eyes, so he uses his ears to see. These are special bells that are only mine, so he always knows where I am."

He jumped off Amari's lap, startling him. "When we go outside, we hafta hold hands. Or Li gēge'll carry me, so he knows I'm safe. 'Cause there might be something dangerous." Then he jumped back onto Amari's lap. "When we're home, or I'm not moving, I sit on his lap. Or next to him. Then he knows I'm there."

Taitai hummed in thought for a second. "Oh, and I always hafta use words. When someone asks a question, you can't just move your head. Li gēge can't see you, tsé? So you hafta say something."

It seemed like the rambling was finished and Taitai paused to catch his breath.

"That's such a good explanation, Taitai," Amari said proudly, pulling him further onto his lap.

"Yes, very detailed," Julie agreed sweetly. "How about we pause to see if anyone has questions for Amari? Remember, he can't see you raise your hand, so you have to say something."

"Me," a girl quickly called out from the back. Amari pointed toward her. "Is it hard? Being blind?"

He huffed a laugh at how broad and vague her question was.

"That's a big question," he admitted with a smile. "Actually, I'm not completely blind yet. I'm visually-impaired. I can't see objects - things - or colors, but I can see light and dark, and I can see big movements.

"Like, if your wave your hands over your head..." He paused to demonstrate and a few children followed. "I know you're moving your arms. I know if it's day or night. I can tell if there're cars driving in the street. I know the difference between a building and an open space, like a park. I can tell when there're a lot of people, or just one or two people.

"But yeah, sometimes it's hard." Amari scratched his head. "There're a lot of things blind people can't do, or that we've gotta work much harder at. Taitai mentioned reading with braille, but some people like me can't read at all."

He took out his phone and pointed to the bone-conducting headphones on his head. "We can't see a phone screen, so we've gotta speak to do anything, and listen to all our messages, emails, websites... anything with words or pictures. In new places like this school, we've gotta be careful, and remember where everything is. Otherwise, we'll bump into things and hurt ourselves." He put his phone back in his pocket. "We take our time to memorize streets, and bus stops, and subway stations, so we can get around on our own."

Touching his chin to Taitai's head, he smiled warmly into the blur of children and classroom.

"But people have lots of senses, right? Not just their eyes. So we use sound, and smell, and touch, instead of sight." He pointed to his ear and nose, and wiggled his fingers as he spoke. "I recognize people by their smell and voice. I run my fingers along buildings when I walk, so I know where windows and doors and alleyways are. I can usually tell what food's served in a restaurant by the smell. And I know where people are and what they're doing by listening to them."

Amari casually shrugged, as if not having sight wasn't a big deal. "Blind people can do many things without using their eyes, so it isn't as hard as you might think."