The Fake Smile

The next day greeted the village with another blizzard. I used these circumstances to calmly explain everything to my parents. I decided to entrust this little secret only to the people closest to me. I knew that the word would spread anyway once I left the village, and if I told everyone at once, I probably would just be declared a madman, and maybe even locked up for my own safety.

At first my parents thought I had some crazy dream because of my exhaustion yesterday, or that I maybe caught a cold and was struggling with fever, or that I hit my head somewhere on the way to or from the mountains. But the stone that hung at my neck now, and my stubbornly repeated arguments finally managed to convince them.

Two days later I made my way to Ethia's house, wanting her to be the third and last person to know about my plans.

To my surprise, she was still lying in bed, when I knocked and entered the hut. Her uncle wasn't there. "Don't tell me you're hibernating because of the weather," I joked, closing the door behind me.

"It's not that..." her voice was hoarse and speaking seemed to cause her some struggle. "I was forbidden to leave the bed..."

I noticed that she was pale, and looked quite weak. "What happened?" I came closer and sat down on the edge of her bed.

"I must have caught something because of that mountain trip... it was horrible, but they gave me some herbs... it's getting better."

"No wonder. You're like a young birch, you may bend under the pressure of wind sometimes, but no storm will break you just like that." My attempt at cheering her up was clearly successful, because she smiled more lively, some color returning to her cheeks.

I soon revealed the main reason for my visit, and for the next minutes she listened in astonishment, all the while watching me with those big, azure eyes. But unlike my parents, she immediately believed in every single one of my words.

"But... does that mean you will leave again?" she seemed to try to hide it, but anxiety was evident on her gentle features. "And there is no telling when you will return?"

I couldn't blame her. I barely started to feel, like we've restored our bond fully again, and now I wanted to go someplace far away, I didn't even exactly know where. "I will be coming back here whenever I'll be able to, I promise," I reassured her.

"While you're at it, maybe promise me that I won't have to go and rescue you again?" she joked.

"Sure, but if you were capable of that, then it would probably mean, that the existence of Apostles is not necessary, and you can get rid of Shaeth single-handedly."

She laughed heartily and I joined her.

~

Two months later the days started to grow longer, and I looked forward to Sril's return almost with excitement. Me and Ethia preferred to spend more time outside again, mostly helping with dispelling the last remnants of winter untidiness.

But even when the last stains of snow disappeared and spring enveloped Edron for good, the Apostle of Ralethiel, the Blue Dragon was nowhere to be seen.

One day I was helping Ethia with tidying the seedbeds behind her house, once again drowned in uncertain thought. Finally she apparently wasn't able to stand the sight of my worried face anymore. "Are you sure that he said, he will return here? Maybe you misunderstood something and you were supposed to meet up with him somewhere?"

I struck the hoe into the hard ground one last time and paused too. "No, I'm sure he wanted to come here again."

She sighed and thought for a moment. "What did he even look like? Maybe it would be good to search for him in the neighborhood, maybe he got lost somewhere?"

"Well... I assume he was my age... his height was close to mine too. He had green eyes and a very calm presence around him. It was kind of hard to take a good look, it was pretty dark..."

"Are you searching for someone?" came a sudden, gentle voice from behind our backs.

We turned around as if on command. Between the trees, half hidden in their shadows, stood Sril, an. Ethia just gaped, and I couldn't hold back a relieved smile. "I was starting to think that you wouldn't come at all."

"I'm sorry to have kept you waiting.." I frowned. He seemed... weakened somehow, a little pale and fatigued.

"Are you alright?" I asked.

"Yes, I'm just a little tired, please don't worry."

"How about you rest a bit and meet my parents then? They wanted to get to know you anyway, and I can prepare myself in the meantime."

"I would be grateful."

I leaned the hoe against the back wall of the house. "Oh right, introductions... Sril, this is Ethia, my childhood friend."

Sril got closer and gently took one of her hands in his own. "We already know eachother in a way, but it's still a pleasure to make your acquaintance," he smiled charmingly, lifted her palm to his lips and placed the lightest of kisses on it.

While I was gathering everything that was necessary, my parents mercilessly interrogated poor Sril. Not all of his answers satisfied them. Of course he wasn't able to guarantee my safety and wasn't able to predict every single incident on our path.

I didn't rush my preparations mostly to let Sril rest, but also because something about him seemed weird to me again, like at our first meeting, but I still couldn't put my finger on it. Finally I swung my haversack over my shoulder and interrupted the questioning. "Dad... I already explained all of this to you. I will be fine, don't worry."

My father just smiled, retaining whatever question was about to leave his lips.

"Are you ready?" asked Sril.

"I think so..."

My mother took Suha from the bedroom and we returned outside. I looked up into the sky. The sun was high, not obscured by even a single cloud, and it pleasantly warmed the still raw soil.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned slightly to look in the worried features of my mother.

"Please be careful..."

"I will, I promise. I..." I had some more words prepared for this moment, but was suddenly interrupted by Suha, who extended her tiny hands towards me.

"Siii..." she mumbled.

I smiled and gently took one of her little hands between my fingers, which earned me a happy laugh. "Not 'mama', not 'papa', but 'Siii'?" I asked, allowing her to squeeze and shake my index finger a little. "I feel honored, my lady."

When I was done saying my farewells to him, and then to the teary-eyed Ethia, I joined Sril, who was watching us from respectful distance. I looked at my beloved ones once more and smiled reassuringly. "I will be back. I promise I will."

Sril bowed gracefully and made his way into the depths of the forest. I waved one more time and followed him. It was hard... I felt like a piece of my heart just ripped from the rest of it and stayed behind my back. But at the same time I had a feeling, that it was worth it.

"I hope you don't regret your decision," Sril's voice reached my torn mind.

"What? No no, don't worry. It's not like I'm leaving forever, I will see them again... right?"

"I wouldn't want to discourage you, but..."

"Then don't finish, please," I interrupted him. "I don't want to get discouraged either, so let's not expand this topic. We shouldn't worry about things we don't know will even happen right?"

Sril just smiled gently and nodded.

That. That was it.

I suddenly realized what bothered me about him this entire time. His smiles didn't seem very genuine. Not in the sense, that I felt like he was being dishonest, but... it was like his lips were smiling, but his eyes were unable to. They were emotionless, green like a forest lake, it's water starting to bloom in spring, but still being cold from the remaining winter chill...

"You still don't look very good," I stated, wanting to shove away those unpleasant thoughts. "Did something happen on your way here? Maybe we should rest a bit before going further?"

"Nothing happened, I'm just a little tired, that's all."

I frowned. I thought I felt a tiny gleam of warmth on my chest beneath my shirt but it died out immediately. I was completely confused now. Why would he lie if he knew exactly, that I would notice it? Or maybe the flicker of heat was just my imagination? But even if it wasn't, I didn't feel like asking him about it, I felt like it would be tactless. Everyone had the right to have their secrets, and he wasn't obligated to tell me everything...

Sril led me through the forest. After some time we left the shelter of the trees and wandered a narrow path, meandering on the edge of a cliff at the border of an enormous valley. The grassland was divided by the bright ribbons of two rivers, in spate from the recent thaw. They eventually connected somewhere in the distance. Far away, beneath the western horizon we saw a massif of huge mountains, that stood like a majestic barrier at the border of the valley, and a bit closer, in the south, loomed the dark expanse of a vast forest.

We left the path upon finding a gentle slope and descended into the valley. After what felt like another hour, when dusk arrived and the edge of the young moon, growing for the last three days, appeared above the horizon, we stopped underneath a branchy hornbeam, standing lonely among the grasslands.

"You are so silent..." started Sril suddenly. "Is something wrong?"

"What? No... no I'm fine, why would something be wrong?"

"You look like something is worrying you."

"Well... I just..."

"So there is something after all."

I sighed. I really wasn't keen to reveal my thoughts about his behavior. Sril sat down on the yellowish grass at my side. "If there is some problem, you can just tell me. After all it's only the two of us for now, I think we need to help eachother if it's necessary."

I looked him in the eyes, into this lifeless, cold green...

He seemed to understand even without words. "Oh... it's about that..." he turned his gaze away, as if not wanting to cause me any more discomfort. He started striking a fire.

"Why...? They are so..."

"I know... most people seem to notice it, but I think you're the first one I'm talking about this with. I'm not sure, but I think it started when Trel... died..."

"Your friend...?" Sril just hung his head, so I tried to soothe him: "I'm sorry... I shouldn't have asked and reminded you..."

"It's not your fault. I wish it would come to an end too..."

"Maybe a new friendship would help? You know very well, what a bond like that can achieve..."

"No better not..." Sril made sure, that the flames enveloped the branches for good, wrapped himself up in his coat and laid down.

I felt that jab of guilt again. I went too far...

I sighed and covered myself a bit with my light blanket. That wasn't quite the beginning of the adventure that I've envisioned...