V - Both

So this is how far I have reached in my life, everyone stopped dead in their tracks as I made my way to the yard, the looks I received are enough to make me want to hide, but that was what the old Devika would have done, the new Devika? she is just smirking and ignoring their dirty looks, I can hear them whispering, some started running away, many of them gave me a look of pity, others gave me a look that said 'you deserve what happened to you.

After a long walk to the yard, I found myself standing in front of the gate, I took a deep breath before I opened the gates, the moment I took the first step inside brought me back to many memories. These memories were pushed aside when my eyes landed on Amaris, who was teaching a kid how to properly grab a shotgun. I carefully watched them both in silence, she is all grown up now, she is taller, her hair was somehow shorter, but her silly smile never left her face, she always enjoyed training those little kids, she always told me that it gives her the strength because she feels like if these kids grew up when they defend themselves they will be thankful. After all, she is the one who taught them everything.

"Devika?" a voice said from behind me, I didn't turn around, I knew for whom this voice belonged, But I knew for sure that I am not ready to face him.

"oh god," he said again, then he placed his hand on my right shoulder, that's when I put on the coldest face, then I turned around to face him.

"Stephen" I nodded at him, he looked at me with his eyes wide open. I wanted to smile at him to hug him, to tell him about the horrible things that have happened to me, but I couldn't help but just look at him with a dead face.

"They weren't joking when they told me that you have turned into a completely different person" he disappointedly said. I never wanted this to happen, Stephen, believe me.

"well....um...you grew up" he nervously said, I ignored him and turned around to look at Amaris, but she was nowhere in sight. and that's when I realized that she is standing right behind me. I closed my eyes and I took a deep breath, then I turned around to face the two of Stephen and Amaris.

"a simple greet won't do that much of a harm" she squeaked, I just nodded at her. she took her time to let out a dramatic gasp.

"Devika don't you dare treat me like the rest, hug me, slap me, kill me, just do anything. don't just stand here without saying a single word" she screamed, causing many to turn around and look at us. I pinched the bridge of my nose before answering her.

"I will go see mother, then we will talk," I said in a cold and low tone. the rage and sadness in their eyes spoke louder than words.

"Today is the day of the signs, aren't you excited?" Stephen said and I sent him a death glare, and Amaris smacked him on the back of his head.

"Everyone missed you," Amaris said, I didn't have the strength to say anything, so I just kept looking at her with a bored face.

"What happened to you? what happened to our best friend?" Stephen asked and I bit my tongue.

"what did they do to you? Amaris asked. I am starting to lose my temper.

"talk to us Devika," Stephen said in a sad tone. I was quick to push them both out of my way and walk outside this place. I took a deep breath before I started running as fast as I could, I perfectly knew where I am going. But I am not sure if I am ready to face her after all of these years. father promised me that I will see her, but he broke his promise.

After several minutes of running nonstop, I stopped dead in my tracks when I was standing in front of my house. I stood there for a couple of minutes, trying to get myself to decide if I want to knock on that door or not.

"you might not see her again," I said to myself, then I turned around I grabbed my hair and I roughly pulled it.

"But I am not ready to face her" I whispered to myself, and those are the perks of not having anyone but yourself, I have no one to talk to except myself. And here I am, standing in front of my house, fighting myself to decide if I want to see my mother or not.

"fuck this, I am going" I whispered to myself, then I turned around and slowly made my way to the house, I took a deep breath before I knocked three times.

"if she doesn't open the door in five seconds I am leaving," I told myself.

"no you are not leaving, patience is the key to life"

"but what if she doesn't want to open the door on purpose?"

"no she is not doing it on purpose, but you know that she is lazy"

"but she must know it's me, she knows that it's the day of the signs"

"maybe she forgot"

"maybe not?"

"Do I have the right to ask why is my daughter standing here and fighting with herself?" a warm voice said, I looked up and there she was, standing behind the door with a weak smile on her face.

"mother" I whispered, she opened her arms for a hug, but I awkwardly denied it by putting my hands in the pockets of my jacket.

"But why?" she disappointedly said, I shrugged my shoulders at her.

"I am not the hugging type anymore, I guess" I whispered. her hands fell to her sides, and she looked like she would collapse any second.

"you....you grew up" she happily said. I didn't reply, I just nodded at her.

"Oh baby, what did they do to you?" she asked. I avoided eye contact with her.

"Baby I want you to know that I tried to stop this, every day for the past years, but I was shut down" she sadly said and I scrunched my nose.

"you didn't even visit me," I told her, I didn't show that I am sad, because I was scoffing.

"your father wouldn't let me" she whispered and I hummed in response.

"I baked you a cake, your favorite," she said and I took a few steps backward, I regret coming here, I shouldn't have come, it was a bad idea, I should have known that I am still not ready to face her.

"it was nice seeing you mother," I said before I turned around and walked away. her screams filled my ears, she was screaming my name, begging me to come, but I didn't even turn around to say goodbye. I just shut down her voice by covering my ears like a kid and walking faster.

After a few moments of walking away, when I was finally far away from my home, two soldiers made their way in my direction, I stopped dead in my tracks.

"Ma'am, the leader wants you in the center of the town," one of them said and I raised my brow at him.

"but it's not the time yet?" I said but it came more like a question.

"he wants you to be the first one to reveal your sign," the other soldier said, I nodded my head at them both, as I followed behind them to the center of the town. at this moment, I am not scared of my sign, because I am running away in both ways.

"from this path," the soldier said, I stopped walking to check everyone around me, every soul in this colony was looking at me, deep down I was nervous, but I didn't show them the slightest hint. I put my head up high as I made my way through the path, that leads to my father, after a few seconds of nervously walking, I found myself standing in front of the man that I didn't want to see for the rest of my life, my father. he didn't look at me, yet I can see the sign of victory in those deadly eyes, he was proud of himself, proud of what he did. and he will live to regret it, soon enough.

"LADIES AND GENTLE, WE SHALL START THE DAY OF THE SIGNS" my father roared, and everyone started cheering for him, I wanted to kill them all one by one. I took a few steps in my fathers' direction and I turned around to face everyone as I threw my hair in a ponytail, to make it easier to remove the cloth. the same lady from a few years ago started removing the piece of cloth, everyone was nervously looking at me, I can hear my heart beating, I was breathing heavily.

"HURRY UP" my father screamed, and that's when the piece of cloth was removed, I can feel my soul leave my body. everyone went quiet, I can feel a drop of sweat running down my forehead as I was nervously waiting for anyone to say something.

"that's impossible" a soldier whispered behind me. the soldiers angrily pushed away everyone who tried to look at my sign.

"WHAT IS IT?" I yelled out loud, I am losing my temper here. I just want to know what my sign is, is it a sun sign? because everyone going quiet makes it obvious that it's not a moon sign.

"you.....you have both signs.....both moon and sun"