Chapter 21

"Cath, what's the problem?" trexie settled in another chair in front of me.

She sipped the wine in her wine glass while watching me looking at my phone.

I scrolled down to see some more photos of Shane Sandoval with him.

All men and women are probably his friends and colleagues.

Even if they're at one bar, but the way how they dressed up, It is very ovious that they came from work.

Reige isn't smiling from his ears. But he hardly smiles that way.

He's just observing his happy colleagues, raising of his own glass as a sign of approach to his friends.

Trexie approached me when she noticed my silence.

"Oh your CEO. Why he didn' t bring you?"

My face heated when i realized her question.

I didn't come with him because he didn't bother to invite me.

Reige didn't bother to invite me in his party because i am not worth enough to introduce with his friends.

That's the truth.

They probably knew me after i publicized our relationship.

But they prefer to choose Shane Sandoval than me.

And Shane Sandoval was already there at the party so they probably knew her.

My presence won't matter at all if i was there.

I'm just nothing but her girlfriend publicly but nothing importance.

"Those are his friends and business associates. Most of them are his business partners. And all of them are business owners too. And they are best in business industry!"

Trexie said and drank her wine.

"What's the party is all about? Why Reige made a party cath?"

How would i know? When he didn't bother to tell me about this.

"Let's go. Let's have party too. "i bitterly said.

" Where? Dezso bar? You owed me before for a night out. " she exclaimed. Excited for my invitation.

" Other bar trex, "i shook my head. And she laughed so loud.

"But your boyfriend' s there cath! You should surprise him! You should go there! "

"Other bar trex," i insisted.and switched off my phone. I put it down.

I feel drained. My energy suddenly got lost.

All of a sudden.

"I wasn't invited trex," i coldly said.

"Even so. Reige is your boyfriend. He made that party, cath!"

Exactly. He made that party just for him, just for his friends and of course for Shane Sandoval.

Exclusively for them.

That's why he didn't invite me or even bother to tell me.

I'm out of his priority.

And putting me in the list of his priorities is out of his character.

I shook my head.

Reige was sorrounded by his professional friends and colleagues. And to invite me, who doesn't have any achievements is such an embarassment.

He embarassed me.

That's the truth.

I didn't tell that we'll going to the Dezso bar.

I was convinced that trexie just agreed that we'll enter a different bar but just near at Dezso.

But when we reached the parking lot, she found some of her friends going through the mentioned bar, and she grabbed me going there.

Shit!

"It's fine cath. Just put on your mind that you'll come there for yourself. To make have fun and not to stalk him. Just think that you're not there for Reige or anyone. Okay? Cheer up!"

I am not still convinced.

I frowned. And i felt betrayed too.

For sure sir jed is in the Dezso bar. He's the owner anyway.

" Tss. "

She held both of my shoulders, like she has some effective proposition.

" Bestie, don't make it a big deal. If Reige doesn't make it a big deal then you shouldn't make it a big deal too!"

I stared at her for a couple of minutes.

I was pissed on her.

Shit.

If i didn't see her concern looked, then maybe i won't believe her.

" Remember, your relationship with him is just for a show, right? So you don't need to worry about your feelings. Cheer up! Where's the Cathy Gomez i've known since the first time i've met her.?"

I don't know which is worth.

The five years had past, that i can't name the feelings i have for him.

Or our situation now that i can clearly say what kind of emotion i have felt for him.

Disappointment. Jealousy. Annoyance. Irritation. Embarassed.

All.

The emotions i felt right now, is mixed.

Reige probably did not tell me about his schedule because even though he wants to clear his name, if he's with his professional friends, he wants his best foot forward.

And being with me is so much downgraded.

It's better for him to pretend that i don't exist.

I can't stop trexie. She's very much determined to go inside the Dezso.

We held our hands together as we walked. Bracing many people in the dance floor.

"Hi, Cath!" some men greeted me. I smiled and waved at them.

I can't stop for a small greetings because trexie grabbed me.

"Hey, Jelai!" trexie and kissed her friends that we met at the dancefloor.

"Yes, we'll going to their table." i can't focused what they were talking because i am busy checking around the club.

The neon lights illuminated the dance floor.

Smoke mixed with strong scent of liqour attacked my nose.

After a minutes of walking, we reached their tables.

I gave a cheek to cheek kiss to one of the most popular make up artist as my greeting. One beauty queen and a photographer.

"You're so stunning Cath, especially in person."

"Thanks."

I can't almost add something to say.

I roamed my eyes unconsciously around the bar.

My feelings was mixed of pride and devastation.

I don't want Reige to think that i'm stupidly stalking for the second time around.

I am here because i want to party and not because i want to stalk him.

I looked down the drink in front of me.

Sir jed's group went our table while the waiter is in front of us.

"Oh! You're both here!" sir Jed.

"Yeah. Actually, It's out of our plans to come, sir Jed."

Really trex?

Seemed like you didn't plan this.

"Trexie i'll go to the dance floor." my exit.

I didn't immediately moved when she stared at me.

She frowned and her smiles faded.

I know what she's thinking.

"I will just dance. I will not going to stalk"

"Just make it sure. "

I tiredly waved of my hand and walked through the dance floor.

The musics and lights were very tempting.

I bit my lower lip and stayed standing still in front of the sea people.

"Can i dance with you?" a man behind me.

"I'm with my boyfriend." i smiled.

"Oh!" him and left.

I can't almost breath because of the crowded people.

They were wild, especially when the Dj dropped the beat.

Everyone were jumping and shouting.

I ducked a bit but it was useless.

My body hit by the dancing people.

One more hit from my right shoulder and i closed my eyes tightly because of pain.

My bare shoulder weakened when the pain slowly spread in my chest and waist.

"Watch your fucking steps!" i irritatedly said while watching the people around.

I saw darkness. Not even a second.

And it covered by the noisy crowd that dancing.

I stared at the man who hit me until it disappeared from the crowd.

Shit!

From where the man disappeared, i saw Reige from afar.

Sitting at one long sofa.

With some familiar people for me because of the posted photo lately.

Shane Sandoval is formally sitting beside him while talking.

This is the woman that suits his standards.

The woman that fits for his life status.

Reige is too busy talking to Shane Sandoval just beside him.

Shane Sandoval is holding a wine glass and place it near at her flirtitious red lips.

She's very attentive to Reige and smiled from ear to ear. Flashing her pearly teeth.

She got a long brown hair and curled the half part of it. And parted half down her waist.

She's wearing a properly ironed white dress and because the loud sound of the music, she needed to whisper of Reige.

I blinked.

The anger i felt in my heart raised.

Why is he with that girl?

The last word he told me, came across my mind.

I won't do something that can make you mad at me.

What us it now Reige?

And that girl doesn't even have respect!

We publicized our relationship!

If the media is around and caught them, i will be at the headlines probably because of my cheating new boyfriend!

Shit!

My chest hurt. A lot. Too much.

Reige laughed and called a waiter.

He probably asked for another drinks or what.

In the sea of people, it seemed like, only both of them were just inside of the bar.

How many times do i need to accept, that in my life, i can't teach people to love me?

And that, it's okay.

That i shouldn't vent and take it out to him because it is my fault and not him.

It's not his fault why he can't choose to love me. Or love me back.

It's not even his fault why he can't give the attention i want.

Life doesn't going in any ways.

With all the things i've encountered in this life, i know that lashing him out right at this very moment won't do anything good for me.

Reige once judge me. Or even until now?

The reason why he can't put a level of our relationship, other than a game.

I looked at them for a while for the last time.

Now i realized how much big diferences of our lives is.

He's a company owner while i am just an employee.

With his crowd, even the way how they dressed up.... All of them are professionals and very matured.

Very sophisticated and very well-mannered.

The fucking attitudes that he wants to have from me years ago and even until now. Surely.

I looked at the dress i wore. Wearing a simple high waist maong shorts, black sneakers, and off shoulder top.

In that case, i can see how much different our worlds are.

I looked down at the floor.

I can't control people's emotion. Or Opinions for me. And actions.

But i can control of myself.

I immediately turned my back away from them and returned back to our table.

My mind was preoccupied about Reige and his ex.

Are they back together?

Do they need time to tell me before they publicize it?

Maybe they just keep it for now because i just recently publicized our relationship, right?

I sat down at the sofa unconsciously.

I didn't look back at them after i left.

"You have a good taste of a guy Trex." sir Jed.

"Thank you sir.!"

I silently sat at the sofa. I fixed of my dress and silently watched the drinks right in front of us.

"Cath, are you okay?"

I startled when trexie suddenly asked me. She looked concern.

"Yup." i answered and sat properly.

"Sure? Did you find him? Do you want us to go home?" she worriedly asked me again.

Sir jed grinned.

"Are you looking for him Cath? I know where he is. He's with his colleagues. I've met him earlier."

Sir jed tried to point out Reige's table using his index finger.

"It's okay sir jed. I will let him enjoy of his own party. I am not feeling well to, so i'd prefer to stay in here." i said. Even though it's not true.

"Really? But surely, he knew you're here. Isn't he?"

"Not sure. I don't think so. I didn't inform him that i came here. And it's just so happened that we're in the same bar. He's not that strict so it's fine." trexie raised her brow.

Her reaction was meaningful but before i could say something, someone butted in.

" If i were your boyfriend, i won't let you go to a bar without having me beside you or even if i didn't know. "

I think he's sir Jed's friend.

His stares kept on me. And he looked so amused as he sipped in his wine.

Wearing his faded jeans and paired it with shirt.

His hairstyle is just like Reige. And his jaw is perfectly defined too.

" I'm Gab, anyway." he held out his hand for me and i accepted it.

"Cathy Gomez."

"Of course i know you! One of the famous model in the country. And featured in several issues of our magazine.!"

My eyes widened. "Your magazine?"

"I am the owner of G-Magazine."

I was shocked. I didn't expect that.

He's the owner of that famous company magazine!

Shit!

And at his young age?

God!

He's not as younger than me but i think much likely as Reige.

"Oh! Nice meeting you sir!" he chuckled.

"You're very popular. Last month, was the best selling of our magazines when we feautured you!"

"Really? Maybe it was just a coincidence." he chuckled even more.

"No wonder why youths idolizes you. You're worth to keep. Humble. A perfect role model."

"Thank you, sir."

"Are you interested about role acting? I can give you a big break if you're interested. Just tell me."

"Really? Well, i think about it."

Such an opportunity. I'm speechless. He's offer's tempted me.

But thinking about my situation now., I have other plans for myself.

I don't know but i kept on thinking about his offer.

I'm doubt. If i will continue showbiz and grab his offer. Or leave the showbiz for good.

Am i willing to give up of my career just to get rid of Reige?

Or just continue and let Reige ruin my life again.

"Just tell me if you get decided. So i can call your manager, after."

"Sure."i said and lifted from my seat.

" Don't think about it Cath. Just accept it right away. Not everyone can have that kind of opportunity. It's for your good. To become more mature and for a change... " i looked at trexie for a while.

She moved her brows up and down. Trying to annoy me.

Sir jed laughed loudly the reason why i got the chance to ignore her.

I turned sir Jed and saw his furrowed while watching the floor.

He probably drank!

"Uh-oh! The guard's bodyguard!" trexie's voice echoed while laughing.

"Reige." sir Jed stood up and held out of his hand to Reige.

He found our table!

All the women who seated in front of our table was immediately glance at Reige's presence.

He stood up in U-shape sofa.

And didn't wait from anyone's invitation.

He's slowly making his way to me.

I sat straightly where i was seated.

Seeing how sir Gab watching us made my face heated.

"Reige." sir Gab stood up and held out of his hand for a shake to Reige.

"I invited Cath for a role acting." Reige silently nodded.

He's already beside at me, standing.

Trexie made a way so that he can have the space and sit beside me.

"I think it's about time for a change Reige. You maybe not conservative right? I will take care of everything, once she agreed."

"If that's what she wants, then no problem."

Of course you don't mind at all. Not even want to ask me if i want. Right?

"Thanks dude!" he nodded.

He's now already sitting beside me.

All his attention is all on me.

Our knees are touching. He ocuppied all the spaces between our knees.

I didn't look at him. I'm just watching our leg together.

Sir Gab slowly moved and went a way to find someone to talk.

Trexie is just in front of us. Watching. And smirking.

"Did you check your phone?" he gently asked.

I don't need to. Nobody texted anyway. So, what for?

I bit my tongue to prevent myself in saying something.

I am very determined to let him do whatever he wants to do.

And if he wants to be with his ex, then i will not stop him.

I am really serious.

"My colleagues surprise me because of the project we got for london. I celebrated with them for a while because i don't want to be rude. Their efforts will be wasted if i will walk away." he explained.

Don't worry Reige, i understand.

Like i believe that Right?

He don't need to lie and explain it everything for me.

It's out of his obligation to explain, either.

I turned at him. And watched him for a while.

My head was clouded with so many thoughts about him and Shane Sandoval.

And the scene i saw lately from them.

Like how they treated in each other's company.

My chest hurt so much while looking at his deep set of eyes.

Thinking about leaving showbiz and him as well made me hurt even more.

I have enough money to migrate in U. S. And i call jenny for a help so that i can forget this fucking feelings for him as well.

I don't want to hurt myself even more.

I've been through a lot from that.

He's enjoying having two woman in his life while i'm deadly hurt dealing with it?

How stupid am i to keep on watching them together.

I silently wished that i can forget my feelings for him easily, soon.

The man i love, is right in front of me. Holding me like his whole territory. But can't love me back.

I hope i can have the courage to tell him to stop this all.

So i can move on and live the life i deserve.

He is perfectly groomed.

I've seen him in a simple clothes, seen him in a t-shirt and jeans. Seen him in a long sleeve rolled up to his strong forearms with a first two buttons unbuttoned. Nicely cut slacks, and black shoes,

I Realized that i can never be fitted in his world.

He fits perfectly to Shane Sandoval. And that's the reality that i need to accept.

He's very masculine, raw, that only few tried to be.

He's perfectly sculptured for Shane.

His lips pursed. I absently stared at it, for a long time.

I blinked. And turned back my sight in front.

"Mind to tell me why you're here? "

I am very aware of the amusement in his voice.

I'm pissed for myself because i made those stupid things. For him to think that i'm stalkimg him.

A stalked few days ago.

But now, i am determined to never do it again. Ever!

I'll try to forget him until we're done.

Trexie wants to party all night.

That was supposedly my answer but still wrong.

He will still conclude.

"I'm bored Reige."

"Oh!"

He transfered his fingers into my hands which holding a glass of wine.

I looked down my sight in it.

"You didn't tell me, So you could've come with me."

No need. I'm surely certain that you would enjoy the party without having me.

And that's surely the reason why you didn't even bother to tell me, right?

Maybe taking care of his own sex life means this way, then?

I shouldn't meddle with that! Ever!

I bit my lower lip to stop myself from lashing out.

"It's fine. I'm having fun here, too."

"Did you danced?"

I shook my head. "I tried. But i was tired." i stupidly lied.

But that's the only way to cover up my shameful choices few minutes ago.

He didn't answer, so i glanced at him.

He snorted while staring at me.

"Fine, shall we go now?"

Shit!

That's so fucking unfair!

Damn him!

Just because he's done with his affair, then we will go home?

Just because he's done flirting with his ex, then we will fucking go home!

"I will just finish this." i said while raising my glass of wine.

"How many shots did you drink?"

He whispered when the music turned wild. And it brought me tickling sensations all over.

Shit!

"Fourth." he nodded.

"So sweet! Don't push the button Reige. She'll explode anytime now because you secretly came here and partying with your friends!"

Trexie butted in.

Reige full attention turned to trexie. She smiled evilly.

"We saw it Reige from facebook. Don't deny it! She's been like that after she saw it. She's out of her mode, though! So you better make her calm!"

Shit!

This brat!

She ruined my.... Damn her!

Reige turned to me.

I don't know, but i can see fear in his expression.

And his face turned into pale.

Or maybe i'm just drank already?

Why Reige? Don't tell me, you're scared that i will end this and everyone will know that you cheated on me. And for the second time, your name will ruined again.

And from the same woman.

Now, he looked serious.

Seemed like my heart was being squeezed, i averted my eyes.

"Don't mind her. She's drank. I'm just really tired."

I will make my own statue.

I didn't remember, when was the last time i controlled myself like this.

He put the loosen strand of my hair behind my ears.

"It was a surprised party. I was thinking to fetch you, once you're done. That's why i've waited for your message since then." he explained.

"I was busy to message you. And don't worry. It's really fine. I told you. I didn't tell you i'm partying tonight, too. Anyway, we're just the same. We're not obliged to tell each other's whereabouts. And it's not your obligation to tell and explain it to me either, so it's fine Reige. "

His eyes turned into very dangerous. His jaw clenched.

Like a predator watching his prey closely.

" It's not fine with me. I oblige you to tell me your whereabouts. So i'll tell you about mine too. I texted you a couple of minutes after we came here."

I sipped the drinks to surpress the feelings i felt deep within me.

I nodded and turned to him.

"Okay. If there's still have next time, then i will tell you where i'm going."

I said and landed the wine glass at the top of the table.

I'm not done of what i'm going to say when he wrapped his arms around my body.

At his built, it's too easy for him to envelop me with his strong arms.

He moved closer his face at me and i can't do anything but remained statued.

I had mixed of feelings.

I felt embarassed that i felt something with his hugs.

I was thinking he would know that this is the way how his effects on me.

"Damn that fucking party. You're mad at me." he whispered.

"I'm sorry really."

"I'm not. Let's go home Reige. I'm tired."

He didn't talk. He remained his position and tightened his grip.

"Damn! I'm really sorry. Fuck!" He said again and cursed.

"Let's go. I'm sleepy too."

He tightened his grip even more.

I felt some fears of his embrace. If i will leave showbiz then this might be the last time that he can hug me like this.

Or maybe it was just my wild imagination.

Maybe my mind was just creating some stupid things again.

"I'm sorry."

He whispered at me with so much gentleness.

"I'm not mad." i repeated.

"I'm fine. I told you, it's fine." my voice trembled.

He didn't talk again. But he remained in his hugs.

His arms tightened. Didn't even give the chance to let go of me. Not even became gentle.

And one little bit move, his grip became tighter and tighter.

" Forgive me, please." he whispered after a while.

"It's nothing." he groaned.

I saw Shane came closer to our table.... She's with two boys which i'm sure that it's also Reige's colleagues.

Trexie pointed us. Leading them the way to us.

"Reige, your colleagues are here."

I said. But Reige only glanced at them.

"Will you come back? One of your target investor is on our table. Mr. Cheng. He wants to see you." Shane, after they reached us.

"Tell him to meet me in my office some other time. I'm busy now."

Trexie,ruthlessly laughed out loud.

She even suddenly closed her mouth after by using her palm to prevent laughing even more. Even if she already did.

I saw Shane's expression.

Her left brow raised, and i know it was for me.

Her face is oviously annoyed.

Sir jed looked at us while sir Gab still talking to some beauty queen, i guess. While beside of our table.

"Oh...fine."

"Reige,you can go and meet him. I can wait for you, don't worry about me. After you're done then we will-"

"Let's go home." he said with finality.

He stood up and turned to me.

I saw how shocked was Shane. Maybe she thought that Reige will leave me and go with them.

But he held my hand to guid me for a stand.

He even got my purse for me.

I took it from him and wore it by myself.

He possesively snaked his arms immediately around my waist, after.

"We're going home Shane. Please kindly tell to Mr. Cheng that we'll discuss it everything in my office some other time. Thank you for the party. Rence, Jacob. Kindly tell that i'm going with my girlfriend."

"Fine, Reige.I'll tell him"

"Goodbye, bestie!"

Trexie stood up and kissed my cheeks for a goodbye.

"Be home safely Reige. Take care of my bestie!"

I waved at some of our friends.

I also called sir Jed and even sir Gab to say goodbye.

When i turned to Reige he just watched me seriously.

Calculating and reading all my moves.

I averted my eyes and continued walking away from my friend.

"You sure you want to go home? I can wait if you want to stay longer."

What i said is true. I don't want to drag him home forcefully. Or if it is out of his will to go back home.

This will end soon, anyway.

"I want to go home with you."

I nodded and didn't argue.

He cursed under his breath.

I turned to him suddenly. Confused. He looked so serious and dangerous.

He looked at me intently like he's not contented of what he seen from me.

I averted my sight and he even tightened his grip on me.

We're going out from inside the bar. He unlock his car using the remote control for his car.

He opened the door car for me. And without hesitation i slid in.

He turned around at the driver's door and open it. Then got in.

I already put my seatbelt while my full attention was in front.

Even without looking at him, i know he's staring at me fully.

"What's wrong?" he gently asked.

Even inside of his car, he's invading his private space.

He held the dashboard right in front of me. While the other hand was at the backrest of my seat.

"Nothing Reige." i answered without looking at him.

"Fuck! Please tell me Cath. I'm completely going to lose my fucking mind if you won't tell me!" he whispered.

"Are you mad at me? Say something. Please say something!"

I snorted and averted my gaze again.

His nose found it's way to my neck.

His gentle breath brought millions of tickling sensation from my neck 'till all over of me.

I didn' t move though. But instead, i let him.

" I was thinking, if when can you forgive me? Or have you forgave me already?"

He lifted from where he positioned and watched me.

His jaw clenched and his eyes was burning like a fire.

He's shocked and at the same time, his facial expression suddenly became pale because of my sudden question.

But the fear in his expression was very evident.

"W-why?" he almost stuttered.

"Nothing Reige. I was just thinking. It's been already three months since i agreed in this set up with you. And three months of living with you. So maybe you did already forgave me, right?"

"Yeah! It's been already three months since we set this up! But even once you didn't even bother to asked me if i forgave you. And now, you suddenly fucking asked me!"

He cursed but i remained calm. I need to stay calm.

This is for our own good though.

" Fine! I'm not used to live in your condo. I'm comfortable with mine! That's why i opened this topic because i want to go back to my condo right after you forgave me.!" i frankly said. Even there's a lie from it.

"No! I know it's not about that. I know it's all about the photo you've seen and about Shane. I told you-"

"I'm out from that Reige. That's your own life. And i don't mind if you want to stay with her." i lied. Beacuse i want to end all these shit!

He groaned.

"You just have made me so fucking crazy. Completely crazy, Cath. And only you made me crazier like this! "