Chapter 39

"We have nothing to talked about." I gritted my teeth because of annoyance.

I composed my temper just to stay calm while telling it, even though i was literally trembled inside.

Reige's body was literally leaned closer with mine,and i can't deny the fact the electrifiying intensity between our bodies were started rising.

Reige's body also shaking. I don't know if it's because of his annoyance towards me, or there's another reason behind his shaking body.

He might as well feel the electricity of our collided body.

Crap!

I almost moaned when the familiar sensation came rushing down inside of me while holding his broad chest.

I want to surrender because of the shits i felt when i feel it and let him do whatever he wants to do against me,but i know i can't just simply do it.

I won't have to do it though.What i need to do is to face it. I need to face him.

I'm tired of running away from him.I've decided that whatever happens, i will not let my fear kill me this time.

I need to be brave.

I never felt like longing to someone for long years until i met him again.Now.And i admit that i missed him.

Damn.

I tilted my head because of the thoughts which came running accross my mind.

What the hell am i thinking?

Here in front of me is the man i used to love before, but even until now, i love him still.

The man i'm dancing with.The man who obviously hated me and angry of me too, because of what i did. And yet i still have the guts to think somethings surreal between us.

Damn it.

I remembered what kind of stupidity i made when we were in palawan.

Yes! The famous model and now a designer Cathy Gomez, kneeled to pleasure Reige Del Rio in palawan!

Fuck!

I know that this scenario is too much way different when we were in palawan,but damn.

My knees were shaking.

"Don't you fucking move and stay still. " he whispered while cursing. I can even feel how he gritted his teeth while saying those words.

Reige is mad. I know. I feel it. And i wondered how he still managed to stay calm in his state of angriness.

I'm not afraid of his wrtah anymore. Or even if his angry. No. I'm not afraid of him.

Not at all this time.

His whisper brought shiver inside of me.

I don't know but i felt like i want to moan upon hearing his voice.

God Cathy! What the hell were you thinking?

My body heated. And i felt dizzy because of the presence of this fucking asshole in front of me.

"Don't you still know up until now if what i can do to those people who lied on me? Hmmm?"

I didn't answer. I don't want to answer as much as possible.

But Reige was very eager for me to say something

He made his own way and guided me to dance with him. Even though i forced my hand to let go from his grip.

" Do you want to let those people around you suffer?hmm? Fucking answer me. "

I almost widened my eyes because of what he said,but i used to remained my expression unread. The warned of his voice was literally evident.

I frowned.

What does he mean?

The nervous i felt whenever he's around became worst.

I was trapped and can't almost find the right words to say but fortunately, i still managed it.

"Reige, please... Please stop this. I need to go.Please let me go. Grace might looking for me. I don't want her to feel worried while thinking where am i really right now."

I stop and took some air because of suffocation i felt.

"Besides, i am certainly sure that Shane is just around. I don't want to get involved in some issues between the two of you." i looked at him, only to see how his expression became darker after what i said.

I looked away of his gaze,only to noticed that some people in this even were already looking at us.

" Try to fucking go with that Thomson,and you'll see. Not even after this event, you will know how i fucking destroy his fucking empire. So try... Try to go." he firmly said while his teeth still gritted.

"Reige please. I am trying to live a normal life. You see? I quited showbiz to stay away from the spotlight. To stay away from you! We're over! What we had was over! What else do you want? We both have moved on. What else do you still want from-"

"I want to know the truth. The reason why you left me. The reason of everything behind this fucking shits!" he cut me off.

Fuck. I know i can't stop him.Especially now that he's very determined to know my reason.

Will i'm going to tell him?

Do i have the guts to tell him that i'm insecure of his achievment, i'm insecure from what did his friends told me years ago?

Is he even aware that i felt something bad towards myself after how his friends degraded me?

Damn.

"You have no right to demand any explaination from me. Jesus! Reige. That was... That was ages ago. Will you please let it go and continue moving on!" i was panting while saying those words.

I was honestly at the verge of telling him my reasons but i know it would still pointless even if i tell him. Especially now.

" Then you will not go. You can't get rid of me. Stay, And tell me the fucking reason why i can't ask you for some explaination!fuck!" Reige's eyes were pitch dark.

And i know, any moment he can't control himself because of his anger.

He looks like a predator hunting his prey.

But even so, i didn't let him noticed the fear i felt while watching his dark gaze.

I won't tell him what he wants to learn..

For what anyway? For god's sake. It's been years already. What is he bitching out again this time?

If i were him, i would gladly thankful from whatever happened between us years ago, knowing especially that he don't want anybody to ruined his name.

He must be thankful of me, because if he'll know that he has a child from me, for sure he won't accept it because his reputation is much way important than anything else.

Everyone will despise him. He must be thankful way back then that i left him, or else, the name that he have been taking care of, will ruined once everybody learned about our child.

Our child. No. Geu is mine. alone.

No one can get him from me. Even Reige. I will assure that.

"This is not your life Reige.You were not in my life anymore if you remember. You have no right to ask me anything. You have nothing to say or do if i want to commit any other commitment with some other guy-"

"Try Cassie Ambrocio. Try me." my eyes widened,and his breathes became heavier because of pissed.

He's literally deadly serious.

Dammit.

I can even see how he sarcastically smirked when he noticed my reaction.

He put down his other hand behind my waist and pulled me closer even more towards him.

I sighed and bent down while murmuring something.

I don't like this. I don't want to experience his wrath. Again and again. I'm physically and emotionally tired from those shits.

This is so absurd,but fuck! This is all my fault afterall.

I lifted my head when i noticed the silence afterwards only to see his mocking and playful smile in his lips.

He's not obviously happy but i know he's obviously mocking at me.And the sarcasm in his expression was also shown too.

Damn it. I literally hoping tha Grace would come in such time at this very moment.

I don't want us to be alone.

I want Grace to come and save me from this suffocating situation with him.

"You're not married."

I was not shocked when i heard it. I know that he's been itching himself to asked me about this thing. And i wasn't wrong.

It was not even a question but he clearly stated it.

I tried to let go from his grip again, but only my eyes widened from the next thing he did... He entertwined our fingers together.

What the hell?

Both of us stopped dancing and just kept watching our hands which firmly entertwined together.

"Reige-"

"You're not fucking married." without any hesitation, i immediately pulled out my hand from him but his grip tightened even more.

Seemed like he has no plan to let go off my hand from his grip.

"Stop this Reige, and let me go!"

"Was that the reason why you still have the courage to look and stay with me in palawan even after what happened years ago because you're literally not a married woman? Like nothing happened years ago? While i... I was fucking thinking how to get rid of you when we were in palawan. Because I was... I was thinking that it was just part of your trap! Again! Fuck! " he looked at me in danger while his breathes became heavier and heavier.

" Let me go. " i simply and gently said instead of answering his question, and just to avoid anybody's attention too.

I don't want to hear his rant, and i won't let anyone noticed the tension between us both.

" Why did you fucking make me believed that you are!?" he angrily said.

His facial expression were obviously reddish out of anger while teeth still gritted.

Shit.

He doesn't even care if anybody will noticed the tension between us.

Knowing this beast.

" I didn't say that i have a husband. Vince told me that you already assumed. And i don't have plans to recorrect it. It's not my fault anyway. You!.. You conclude and believed. But it doesn't matter anyway! What we had is over. We have moved on already so there's no point of bringing back the past. You're getting married soon. So as i am as well. I will find and marry someone too. Soon. Hear me? So there's no reason for us to talk about this non-"

" Don't you fucking dare to find and marry another man Cassie Ambrocio if you don't want me to ruin the fucking life of that fucking man that you're planning to be with. Dont. You. Fucking. Dare! Hear me too! " i was dumfounded.

I can't almost find an utter words to say.

What the hell?

What just he said?

Is he going to prove something? Shit.

Fuck Cathy. Don't let this asshole manipulate your life again. Don't.

Just put back on your mind that he's gonna marry someone else soon.

Dammit.

My heart beats so freaking fast while staring at his dark eyes.

He didn't even give a blink while staring back at me.

"Is this the idea of that idiotic man named jeoffry then? Is this his fucking-"

"He's out of this idea. So stop-"

"How the hell i'm going to stop? You know that nobody can stop me! So all of these was your idea? All of this was your fucking idea. And for what? And the fuck! You even let him visit your condo often even though you already knew that he's gonna marry someone else soon? "

I felt like my togue stucked for a moment of what he said.

No. I will not let him include Jeoffry in this. I won't. Jeoffry is too nice. He's been such a good friend and godfather to Geu. I won't let him suffer this burden.

I won't let him burden this responsibility too.

I bowed down my head like surrendering already from the battle that i've been struggled with. Like i'm putting down all my weapons and gave him the satisfaction of my surrender.

I took a deep breath before i started talking.

"Reige,... i know i was wrong. What i did was... Really-but it's been years. C-can we just forget it and leave our past behind these issues? Let us just continue on moving on. Please." i pleaded. Hoping that he'll get what i want him to do.

My sight was still facing down. And i don't want to see his expression after i uttered those words. But i heard his heavy sighs,and i know it's because he's still angry.

" No. No.one.will.move.on.And you,... You're going to regret and pay all of these mess for doing this to me. Again. You ruined the wrong person and i won't stop until we'll get even." my head immediately lifted when i heard it.

The emphasizes of his words while muttering those words was literally clear.

My jaw dopped half open while staring at him straight in the eyes.

And there was no trace of some sort on his expression like he's joking.

I've tried to read and look for another hint of his expression but there was nothing.

"Reige? There you are. I've been looking for you." i heard woman's voice behind Reige's back so i turned my gaze at the woman who's standing behind Reige, only to see that it was Shane who confidently standing behind him with frowned head.

Shane's eyes automatically drifted on Reige's hand which possesively wrapped around my back.

I pushed him away and finally succeeded.

"S-Shane!" i awkwardly smiled though i was trembled.

She caught us dancing. Dammit.

"I thought we'll dance first together babe." she ignored me. Shit. I looked at Reige and saw his eyes rolled when he heard what Shane said.

Shit. I don't want to be the vellain of their relationship. Fuck.

"We.. Uhm.. We were just having some small chitchat. Well, uhm.. We're just catching up some.. Uhm.. Thing.." i answered even though her full attention were all for Reige. I thought of some reasons to get rid away from them but fuck..

I'm caught off guard,And looked like a suspect from the crime who finally caught off. Damn.

"I.. I will leave you two.. I.. I still just have some important work to do-" before i could finish what i was about to say, Grace appeared and called me.

"Cathy!" she called like she haven't surprised when she caught us together in one place.

But then, i breathed heavily and sighed because of relief.

"Grace! Uhm,,.. Excuse us.. We need.. To.. Go..." i said and pulled Grace away with me from them.

"What's wrong? Have you talked?" we started walking. I saw how Reige's gaze caressed my body and stop at my fingers.

Probably to make sure if there was a trace of lie from all the things i said earlier.

I don't have any ring to prove that i'm really married. Obviously, his accusations against me for being unmarried became clearer.

"Cath, tell me what both of you have talked about? And god! Shane was there too-"

"He knew that i'm not really married." Grace stopped from asking and just looked at me like she waited for me to say something more.

"O.. Kay? So? -"

"He said, he won't stop till we get even.!" i turned Grace while pulling her wrists and dragged her away out from the venue.

We're heading to parking lot,and walked towards where my car is placed.

Grace didn't talk again. She still look so shocked. Seemed like she's still in the verge of processing what everything i told her.

"W-wait... W-what? Come again?" she looked confused.

She don't even know what should be the right words to say.

A lot of things came across my mind right away.

Reige knew that i'm not married. Then, what if he'll ask someone to investigate me. I mean, what if he'll investigate about what happened to me years ago after i left.

What if he'll ask someone to watch over me?

What if he'll find out that he has a son with me?

Our son.

So many 'what ifs', that i can't properly stated the right words to say.

I'm scared. I don't want to think about it now. I don't want to include the life of our son in this mess with him.

No matter what happen, i need to protect Geu.

I heard Grace muttered a curse.

"What if he'll find out about Geu Cathy? What if first thing in the morning tomorrow he already -"

"I don't know Grace!okay?I don't know. I can't think well. I don't want to think about it now. What more important for me is to protect Geu... Now."

Grace shook her head in disbelief.

I don't even understand what i said. Damn.

I can't almost breath well because of the mixed of feelings i had inside.

Grace stared at me first before getting inside of my car.

We're going back at home.At my condo where my son waited for me.

I looked at Grace again as we went inside and put on the seatbelt.

She seemed like there was something in her mind that she wants to say buy she choose to remain silent and let me handle everything. She looked so worried too.

I was obviously trembled while switching on the engine of my car.

But then, little i did i noticed, after i successfully switched on the engine, i looked at Grace again only to noticed the amusement on her expression.

I frowned,and hit her head slightly.

"What the hell!" i yelled. But she only groaned.

"Ouch Cathy! You're so bad.!" she said and pouted her lips to stop the smile she's hiding. But the amusement in her expression was really shown.

What the hell is happenimg to this woman.? I was almost out of my mind thinking about my situation and here she is, just.. What the hell?

She has these guts to show me her amusement look in my situation like this?

Shit.

"Reige.. Reige.. Reige.. Reige. Don't you think that maybe it's his turn now?... Roar!" she said while laughing hyterically and made a gesture of her hands with her face like a real mad lion.

Oh damn. How i became friend this kind of woman? How will i forget how he likes Reige so much for me since then.Or maybe up 'til now..

" Stop it Grace! You know it' s not funny! " i showed her my annoyed expression.

I shook my head and murmured something.

I don't even know what to do, and yet here the woman beside me acted like everything is just.. Fuck.

I sighed.

Now what? What are you going to do now Cathy?

Shall i endure on whatever he'll going to do just to get even with me?

What he told me earlier stucked in my head.

He won't stop until we'll get even? How? In what way?

Don't tell me he will do everything to ruin my life again?

Now he knew that i am not really married. What would be the next thing he would know about me?

What about Geu? Our son? Would he eventually know about him one of these days? Knowing his connection.

Should i go and just talk to him about Geu.?

Fuck.i don't know. I don't fucking know.

My son needs protection but how?

If fate will give Reige the chance to know his son. Then i need to accept it.

I feel like my head will going to break while thinking of some posibilities that Reige would know the existence of Geu.

And that thought made me more nervous!

What if he would take Geu from me once he learned about our son?

I just can't simply give Geu to him. I can't stand without Geu. He's my life. Damn.

I don't know what to do if he will take Geu away from me.

I sighed heavily and closed my eyes intently.

I can't accept the fact that Reige would let away Geu from me once he learned about our son.

I won't stop until we'll get even.

Those words kept stucked in my head. And i can't get rid of it from my thought.

Shit.

Until we reached my condo, my head was still clouded with so many thoughts.

I'm so sorry Geu. I'm so sorry baby. But i can't get along with your dad. Your dad wants to hurt me again. I'm so sorry, i can't deal with your dad.

I've been hurt. And i know that i've been hurt him too, then we're supposed to be even.

But i'm tired to fight.

What i knew this time is, if there is anything i need to fight. That is my son. Geu.

I cried out of so many thoughts in my head.

I felt Grace's arms and hugged me, the reason why i sobbed even more.

"Cath, i'm sorry. I Have no any intentions to hurt or feel you bad bout my gesture earlier. I just want to do something to ease the burden you had. And to make you feel better." i feel the sincerity on Grace words. She caressed my back and make me feel calm,but my tears kept on dripping down.

" "IF he wants to get even from you because of what happened years ago, then for what reason? What do you think he'll up from you this time? Please stop crying. I'm here. We're all here for you. Especially Geu. Don't worry." she hugged me tighter the reason why i became more emotional.

I loosen up my hugged from her and slowly wiped my tears using my knuckles.

" I don't know what he really meant Grace. And i don't even have an idea how he'll gonna make me pay. I hurt him so bad.and if he wants to get even with me, then i would let him! But fuck! I was hurt too. I was hurt too much. I know it's pointless right now to reminized the past but if that what he wants, then i will let him until he's done hurting me! I will let him break me into pieces. Again! I will let him hurt me until i stop thinking about leaving him years ago. I'm tired. I'm tired of everything. I'm tired for fighting of what's for me. I want to end and stop this all! And i want to stop loving him! I really wanted to do it, especially for myself! "

I felt exhausted after i bursted all those words.

I felt a little bit calm after i bursted all the feelings i had burried inside of me since then.

Grace just silently looked at me with weariness in her expression. I can see her symphaty for me. She hugged me tightly and caressed my back gently.

I cried. I honestly cried too much when he did that gesture. I can feel the care of a family from her as she did that.

That's what i need this time, because that is the only thing i never had since then, and for a long time.

I hugged her back while still crying.