PULL IN(S) & PUSH AWAY(S)

I sniff lightly so as not to attract any attention and the tension seems thick enough to be sliced through with a knife.

“O-okay, so we have heard quite a number of different interpretations on love, being one of the strongest emotions of the human mind. And this is exactly what we will be diving into tomorrow, variety and response. Class dismissed.”

I am the first to leave as the past thirty minutes had been much too draining. I leave a confused and helpless Lily and dash all the way towards the restroom.

I make sure to lock it from within and look at myself in the mirror. My eyes are bloodshot with restrained tears and my face is too flushed. I open the tap and splash cold water all over my face as I shake off any leftover thoughts.

What had happened, had happened. And I had promised to never let this happen to myself again. This is not you, Alanna . This is not you.

Alanna is strong and she’s decisive and she doesn’t cry her eyes out on a boy who doesn’t deserve one bit of it.

I take one final look into the mirror as I brush off my shirt. You loved someone with all your might Alanna . You should be proud of having the strength to feel all that. You need to feel the happiness of the experience, even if it didn’t last.

I unlock the door and make my way out to the cafeteria, hoping no one takes a guess at the conditions under which I’d left. I enter the cafeteria to find Lily sitting with Brit and a few others, Nathaniel and Zach around another table, with Victoria Secret and her barbies huddled next to theirs.

I go over and sit beside Lily and Brit gently holds my hand.

“Alanna , you okay?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

“It’s just that, back in the cla-“

“It was nothing, Brit. I just got a tiny wee bit emotional, is all. Where’s the caffeine?” I say out with a shrug and a casual laughter.

“So, feeling all over-emo, are we?” I hear the high pitched over enthusiastic and excessively loud voice and my mood sours instantly as I recognise the owner.

“Your input is definitely not needed on this one, Sofia.” I hear Lily answering for me, as she stands up, but I simply keep my head down, shaking my coffee cup distractedly.

“Oh I wouldn’t, considering the state is perfect for our little Miss Adventure here. Crying over lectures, head bowed down in submission with her friends to sympathize. That’s exactly what you deserve.”

“What she deserves will be evident in the days to come. You’re going to lose Sofia, and you’re not going to be able to even help it.”

“In your dreams, Liliana. Look at her, you think she can beat me? She barely has energy enough to even submit her name.”

I sit still, completely unaffected, silently drumming my fingers against my cup. It’s not worth it. I don’t have it in me to fight back today. And from the looks of it, Lily is doing pretty well on her own. So why give Victoria Secret the satisfaction?

“Yes, she will. And I’m going to be sure to carry a camera that day so that I can show you your fucking pathetic balloon of a face, when she does. Oh, and almost forgot, just so you know, the name’s already submitted.” My chain of thoughts pause. My name is sub-

“You are done Sofia.We can barely bear your existence okay, how did you even manage to imagine that we would bear you as the fucking chairperson?”

Snickering breaks away all around, with some taunting laughs and this is somewhere I have to intervene.

That’s why Lily was in the administration wing today?

“You submitted my name?” Lily looks over to me confusion and the noise in the cafeteria is riling me all up.

“Did you submit my name, Liliana?” I yell over at the top of my lungs and the noise somewhat ceases, and Victoria Secret gives a smug look.

“Yes o-of course I did, because you’re going to conte-“

“Lily what part of “I don’t wanna contest in some stupid elections” did you not understand?”

“You see that’s exactly wha-“

“You. Shut up. I’m talking here.” That seems to shut Victoria Secret up and I turn my attention towards the new trouble my friend has thrown up at me.

“Did I tell you to do so?”

“Dello , I don’t unders-“

“Did I tell you to do so, Lily?”

“No bu-“

“Then why? Why are so hell bent on making my life more of a mess than it already is? I thought you are a friend. Listen to me, now, and listen to me, loud and clear for I won’t go on shouting it at your face over and over just because you can’t get it inside your overly excited head. I, am not going to contest any elections.”

Lily watches me in silent amazement and possibly hurt as I grab my things and stomp off leaving a surprised cafeteria and two pairs of eyes that follow me out. One brown and the other blue.

*

“Afternoon. My name is Adalanna Callister . I wanted to apply for a subject change?” I await a response as the lady with glasses finally looks up to me, obviously bored.

“Subject to be replaced?”

“Uh-music.”

“Subject to replace it with?”

Well, that I had not thought of. Of course, if I was dropping a subject I will have to pick another.

“Uh-business management?” I really didn’t have an extraordinary passion towards business, but I guess it’ll do.

The lady continues to type away at the computer, at an annoyingly low speed. The day is almost over and I don’t want Lily to leave without me. Considering today’s events, I have a reason to believe she might already have.

I sigh inwardly as I rewind the previous scene in the cafeteria. Maybe I shouldn’t have lashed at her, publicly, but then she shouldn’t have submitted my name.

I don’t want to do all this. Sure, I used to, but I’m not sure if I could anymore. After all that happened last time.

“I have filled in the request but the change will be put into effect, only after approval.” She mutters, while her eyes were still glued to her screen.

“How long will that take?”

“Not less than three days.” Three days, are you kidding me? I can’t go to music class for three days.

“Isn’t that a bit too long?”

“Miss Callister. The VP happens to be out of town, in Florida as of now. And unless you want to fly down there and make him sign your request personally, I suggest you wait. Patiently.”

Great. I sling my bag over my shoulder and start walking away. I guess I ticked her off. But seriously, three days? I have to sit alone in the cafeteria, for three days?

The hallways seem a bit less crowded by the time I walk in and suddenly I make out the time. Damn.

I almost run my way over to the parking lot, when I see my dread coming to life. She left.

God.Of course, she did. How am I supposed to go home?

I would have taken a cab, except I left my wallet in Lily’s bag, which is on its way home, with her. Great. And then it strikes me.

Yeah, I will have to ask him. I didn’t want to, but I guess Lily has left [me with no choices].

I walk back into the building, silently praying he’s still in there. I bobble my head all around and finally I spot him at a distance, engaged in a conversation with someone.

I make my way towards him hastily, ignoring the growls of my stomach. Lily, you did so wrong. And it fills me with uninvited anger, all anew.

“Hey, apparently Lily left without me. And apparently I left my purse with her. Would you mind giving me a ride back home?”

“Yeah, no problem. But wait, Lily… went without you?” He gives me a strange sad expression mingled with confusion.

“Yeah, I guess she’s still mad.”

“Right. Don’t worry I’ll get you there, come on.”

“Thanks Nathaniel, you’re a life saver, really.” He looks at me with lost, distant eyes and I wonder what this is about. Did something happen? I do hope he’s not feeling sorry for me.

“Ah, don’t mention it.” I smile lightly at him before I turn towards the person he had been conversing to. I wish I had not.

His hot stare was already fixed on me and by the looks of it, it had been for quite a while now. And he didn’t even seem to try to divert it. I don’t quite understand the emotion in his eyes, but it’s too negative, and harsh and- possibly angry.

I don’t understand, why these two are looking at me with such different, yet incomprehensible looks.

I glare down Zach, with an equally determined face, and he just, continues to stare. Eventually, I start to feel as if I’m a criminal that he’s trying to intimidate into a confession.

I try to decode this person, the one person I’ll never understand. His eyes get deeper the longer I look, and I feel a strange allure, pulling me further.

Author's note:

No one says attitude like Liliana Preston.

What’s up with Zach and Nate?!

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