Acceptance, After Denial

Damon POV

"No."

Sonja gives me a frustrated look, growing tired of my arguing, "Yes, Damon. That is some form of cocaine whether you like it or not."

"But she's not like that. Not in the slightest. Sonja, I swear to the Goddess that is not her. She would never do that."

Sonja sighs, opening the nearby cupboard and throwing a towel in my direction, "Well, she did, Damon. Use that to wipe her down and find some deodorant. I'll try and find some incense." She wanders off and I know she won't find anything, and I know she knows she won't. She just needs space. So I focus on Aya. I turn back to her, finding her very still on the couch. Her eyes widen as she looks at me, seeing me squatting down in front of her.

"Help," she whispers, tears beginning to come down her cheeks again. She sounds so broken, so helpless. I can't even begin to imagine what is going through her mind right now, what she's feeling. She's transitioning into a night-walker whilst high on Goddess knows what.

Wiping her legs, I smile sadly at her, wishing I could stop her tears, "I'm trying, Kitten. I'm trying." She doesn't answer me, she just stares at me as if I'd ignored her plea for help.

She reaches out to touch my bare shoulder, beginning to shake, "Help, Damon."

For a split second, I think she's coming down off her high, that she can actually see me again. But within half a second she's back to staring off into space, and I thank the Goddess Luperca for it. If she keeps asking me for my help and looking at me like I won't help her, I'll lose it.

Nick trudges back into the room as I'm wiping at my face, but I don't look at him. I can't have him see me like this. I focus on my still throbbing hand as I continue wiping the vomit off Aya. However, the sound of her smacking her lips draws my attention back to her face. I notice that she's also blinking quite fast. Nick must see it too, for he calls in his sister. She jogs back into the room, frowning when she sees Aya.

She squats beside me, staring up at Aya as she asks, "Aya? How do you feel?"

"Hot," she answers, but the struggle for her to answer is visible and confusing.

"Good, what else?"

"We have to take her to the hospital," Nick says, stepping closer. Sonja and I shake our heads, explaining to him once again that she's transitioning, not to mention the drugs in her system. We can't even take her out of the house. Not like this. She just has to ride it out and get through it.

"Honey, what else do you feel? Aya?" Aya's eye begins twitching and sweat begins to roll from her hairline.

"Tingle," she cries, "Tingle, burning, help. Flash, too bright! Bright! STOP!" The second she stops speaking, she falls backward. Sonja's curse echoes and she drags Aya down to the wooden floor, right as she begins to seize. My insides twist and my wolf cries at me to help, to stop it. This isn't part of the transition, it's the drugs. This is Joshua's doing. Knowing that holding her down will only make it worse, I stay where I am, glancing at Nick to make sure he's doing the same. Sonja takes a small oxygen pump from her med bag, holding it hard enough for her fingers to turn white. I watch in horror as Aya seizes violently, as a pink-tinged foam over-spills from her mouth.

I jolt, feeling Nick's hand on my bicep, stopping me from intervening. As he does, Sonja turns Aya's head to the side, letting the foam escape and making it easier for Aya to breathe. When she eventually, finally, stops seizing Sonja checks to make sure she's still breathing. With the transition also happening, she's going to die sometime soon and become undead. Sonja, once done checking on Aya, stares up at me for a moment, seeming shocked at whatever it is she finds on my face.

"Take her to bed," she says, "Get her comfy. I'll stay till morning and check on her through the night. Stay with her. She'll need you when she dies or wakes up, whichever happens first." Carefully, I pick Amaya up the same way as before and head to my bedroom, Nick on my tail. He throws back the covers and I set her on the bed. Almost immediately, she curls into it, inhaling deeply. Almost as if something in her knows she's my mate, as if she knows that wherever my scent is, where I am, is safe. Sonja tells us to leave as she checks on Aya more thoroughly and changes her clothes.

"She's a surprise," Nick comments, striding into the kitchen.

After throwing the vomit towels out the front foor, I lean back against the wall opposing Nick as I answer him, "I know." I didn't expect her either. I didn't expect to feel this way about her, or for any of this to happen. I've known her since we were two feet tall and throughout middle school, I thought she'd be my first love. Not my only love. My mate. It's so rare to find your mate so young and I managed to find her in primary school. I just didn't know it.

Nick throws me a packet of frozen peas, gesturing to my still throbbing hand. Nodding my thanks, I rest it against my swollen knuckles.

"This is the first time? Really?"

Seeing the heated look I throw at him, he continues, "You know the rule about drugs. You're gonna get an earful from Sonja once she's better. I can only imagine what Carla would say. Is it really the first time? Just man to man, tell me the truth." I swallow the urge to growl at him, to tear him a new one. As his Alpha, I fucking should. As his friend . . . Letting him speak to me like that goes against every one of my instincts, but I move past it.

With my throat thick, I tell him the truth, "As far as I'm aware she's only smoked pot. And that was with me, years ago. I'm not a hundred percent sure on anything else, I can't be. Not until she tells me. But I swear on Goddess Luperca, Nick, I've never seen her like this. She's not the type, she just . . . I know she wouldn't." He stares at me in silence for a few minutes, looking for something on my face. Looking me up and down, thinking about Goddess knows what.

He sighs softly, crossing an ankle over a knee, "Someone definitely is beating the shit out of her though, I see what you meant." I nod, thankful that as his Alpha and friend, he's trusting me and letting it go.

"You know who yet?"

I shake my head, "No. I thought it was Joshua for a while. It's a lot of him but there's someone else. I was thinking of approaching Jake next, but I've been procrastinating. He's changed." Sonja re-enters the room, med bag in hand and stethoscope around her neck. She flops down beside her twin, dropping the bag on the floor.

"She's good for now. Sleeping, weak, horribly marked up and skinny, but alive for now." She wipes her wet eyes and it makes me wonder what exactly Amaya looks like beneath her clothing. I don't ask. I'm not sure I want to know.

"Thank you, Sonja." She nods and leans her head back, throwing her feet into Nick's lap. They begin their own whispered conversation as I move off into the bedroom. I toss the bag of peas onto the couch on the way. There's a chair beside the bed and I'd use it in any other situation. I grab the orange sleeve from my chest and sit beside Amaya on the bed. Sonja tucked her into the blankets loosely and was definitely right about her being marked up and skinny. I haven't truly seen her physique until now. By the looks of her, she hasn't just been refusing food I've offered, it looks like she barely eats at all. She's so pale, so skinny. Her shirt's been changed into one of the tank tops Sonja has left here on occasion. It's two times too big but stuck to her like glue due to how much she's sweating. It showcases her sharp collarbones, the bandages over the bite sites, and her hollowed cheeks. The severity of her situation only just now really hits me. Does her family not care?

Tearing my eyes away from her, I pull the piece of paper out of the orange sleeve. On it is a picture of my target, male this time, and all the vital information about him. His private information like his name, age, address, and contact details. As well as his family members, ex-spouses, friends, work, interests, and hobbies. It outlines his day to day routine as well. It tells me to make it look like an actual assassination this time, instead of like an accident as I usually do. Not as much information as I usually get but I'll have to make do.

Hearing footsteps coming towards the door, I shove the paper back in the sleeve and shove the sleeve beneath one of the pillows.

Sonja stops in the doorway, looking at Aya as she speaks, "I don't know how she's still standing, still alive for that matter."

Her stethoscope still sits comfortably around her neck, her hands fiddling with it.

"That bad? Even though I told you, she's not entirely human?" I have no idea what she is, but it's mixed with her scent, with her blood. She's not human.

She frowns, trudging over to Amaya's side of the bed, "That bit of whatever she is or has is what's been saving her. She's on her last reserves. You don't even need to be a doctor to see it, Damon. She's severely malnourished and dehydrated. She's been beaten so many times, over years. If she were human, she wouldn't be able to stand. She . ." She trails off and doesn't pick up the sentence again.

"What is it, Sonja? Tell me."

"I just . . Even with the venom in her system and already transitioning, I just wouldn't be surprised if she didn't wake up. There are just some things that venom can't fix." That's how bad it is. She could just not wake up. How do Maxwell and Jake overlook this? How do they not care?

Looking back at Aya, I notice her labored breathing, and how much she's still sweating. I barely hear Sonja leave as I watch Aya's singlet slowly become darker as the minute's tick by, her chest plate visible as I watch it heave in and out. As if it is a monumental effort. It may very well be. Leaning over, brushing my fingers against her clammy cheek, I have to push my tears away.

"I don't know if you can hear me," I start, my voice low and shaking despite myself. She doesn't move, doesn't give me any indication that she can hear me.

"I don't know if you can hear me," I repeat, blinking as my vision blurs, "But, it's okay. I won't be mad if you don't want to wake up."

I grasp her hand in mine, entwining our fingers together. It could be the last time I get to do it.

Taking a deep breath, I continue, "I won't be mad. I'll definitely be upset, but I'll understand. If you feel like it's your time to go, then don't feel ashamed to go. It's your life and your choice, no matter what anyone else says or feels." Her leg twitches and I almost smile through my tears.

"You're so beautiful and caring and forgiving. You're selfless and amazing. It's okay if you don't wake up, just as long as you wait for me on the other side. I've gotta take care of my family first." I watch as her eyes move beneath her eyelids as if looking for something. It makes me smile. Maybe, just maybe, she's looking for me.