Seon-Ho

But I noticed a change in her soon after the market fiasco. She became withdrawn for some unknown reason; her face had lost colour, she wouldn't eat or drink anything and was losing weight fast. And she kept to her room a lot more, hardly venturing out to even cook anymore much to my dismay. The warmth she had once brought to this house was slowly disappearing but there was nothing I could do; I knew if I showed too much concern my father would do something very terrible about it. But I was worried, far more than I expected to be. I also found myself... irritated.. and hurt... that she didn't call for me or made any attempt to come to see me with the tea she used to bring almost every evening without fail. I missed her, I couldn't deny it.



I still hadn't seen Yeonnie for a few days and I had a hard time concentrating on my work. I wasn’t used so much silence, not since she came here. She wasn’t at my door anymore talking her little head off, she wasn’t trying so distract me by pushing ridiculous notes through the door and she had one of the uglier maids serving me food and it was making me turn my stomach. I tried my best to forget it, but anger and panic soon took over me, and I couldn't take it anymore. After my father had gone to sleep I had snuck out of my room to hers. Her room was still shut but not locked, but I froze as soon as I got there. I was unsure of how to act; the guards had left her room but I couldn't be sure if I was being watched somewhere from afar or not. I slowly and quietly slid open her door as not to startle her... and I got the shock of my life; so much so I nearly tripped up over myself. The only word I could describe her then and there was... Angelic. I saw a small but very slender fair-skinned woman with the thickest hair I have ever laid eyes on changing into her sleeping robes, immersed in a delicate sweet rose perfume that was going to my head.


I knew I should respect her and turn away but... I actually didn't want to. She was half-naked but turned away from where I was; and I noticed some a pair of smooth dimples right above her hips that I had a strange strong urge to trace with my fingers... which at that exact time she covered up.

 My mouth suddenly became dry and some sensation was returning to my legs. I had to get the hell out of there quickly before she saw me. I do not know how I gathered the strength to walk again but I ran as quietly as I could back to the house and immediately started tearing off my clothes to take a cold bath. Whoever that girl or woman was in my mother's quarters it certainly wasn't the one who I grew up with and recognised as Hwi's sister...
 I tried, i tried my hardest to get my mind off of what i had just seen, but no matter what, i just couldn't. I had never even thought of Hui-Jee this much, and just a few weeks ago i had convinced myself that i was in love with her. I was...wasn't i?


For the life of me, i could not sleep and i was beginning to get beyond frustrated. When i called the servants to bring me some more food, it was Yeon's cooking that i received. When i wanted a dessert, i was handed something that very much resembled a rose that of course, no-one but Yeon was able to make. And not to my surprise, everything she made that touched my lips was nicer than anything that i had had before.



And if i thought that one restless night was all i was going to get when it came to Yeon, then i was very sorely mistaken. She wouldn't leave my thoughts even when i was at work in the palace. Before breakfast this morning when i knew that she was bathing, i really could not help myself but to take something, anything from her quarters to remind me of her, as if she had given me a lover's token herself. Even something as little as her thrown away hair ribbons that carried the scent that she had started putting in her hair and her self-embroidered hanker-chief that she surely must touch a lot. I couldn't touch her yet so i hadn't, but i could not deny that i was curious now. How did she feel? i heard that women's skin were so soft that it was like touching silk. I could only look at my poor unkempt hands that were full of blisters from training in my weaponry every single morning and evening just before i went to sleep. And as for my smell, well i guess it couldn't hurt for me to bathe more, maybe even twice a day like she did. Everything that she cooked was great and she was just so different to Hui-Jee overall. Looking back at her now, i think that i only wanted her attention, whereas i was constantly drawn to Yeon. But it was extremely difficult to be around her when my father was constantly watching the both of us. He even placed guards around Yeon's door so i couldn't see her whenever i wanted.


But luckily for me, she was always waiting for me at the entrance of our home every single time i came back from work. No one else had ever done that just for me. She always asked me if i was ok, if i needed anything or if i was hungry. She didn't need to do this and she knew it, but she always genuinely cared for me and my well-being and i could never find the words to express my gratitude. Normally, i would have no choice but to just ignore her and walk away with my heart twisting around in my chest as if i had just kicked a puppy down to it’s knees. But i had had more than enough; Yeon was well and truly my only person here and i wanted to keep her close to me instead of having to put up with so much distance, even if we were in the same home



"Yeon?" "Yes?" "Can you send some food to me in my study, please?" "Do you want a drink?" "You make me something." The look of surprise on her face always made me melt, even before all of this chaos that happened between us that she was still unaware of since her memory loss. "Are you sure? You have always told me not to disturb you unless it was something important..." "You will serve me food and refreshments from now on. You will also help me organise my study and help me personally with domestic chores." "Why? After all of this time..." "Because you are the only one that i trust in this house." "Brother...?" "And stop calling me that, because that is not what i am to you." "Then how am i supposed to address you? My Lord?" "Call me by my name." "Are you being serious?" "Just listen to me from now on, and only listen to me in this home. I want you to ignore everything that my father tells you ok?” “But Confucius tells us we can never address each other by name unless we are family by blood…” “Just listen to me Yeon.” 
 In all honesty, i was just trying to keep a conversation going between us because i could not for the life of me take my eyes off her. I tried so hard not to keep looking at her backside. her legs and her...but i was starting to feel things that i had never felt before. I no longer had any control of my eyes, my mouth, my hands and most definitely other body parts that i had not felt for a long time. Who knows what i could have done if we were completely alone right now? Goodness knows how i was going to restrain myself around her from now on?