I lay in bed wondering what to do now. It's midnight. Conner is soundly asleep beside me. I looked over at me and I knew I couldn't keep this up forever. I needed to be better. To heal. For Conner, for the pack. But most especially for me. I got up and kissed Conner on the head. Letting my lips linger for a moment. I had to tell him everything but I needed time to myself first. I left our room and quickly but quietly walked out of the pack house. It was raining. I smiled up at the sky. I needed something to do. I walked into the woods and sat down. I listened to nature as it went on with its day.
Like nothing was so wrong in the world. I smiled. This is what I needed. I thought of Conner. I loved him so much. I didn't deserve him. Tears formed in my eyes and I cried. I cried for my mistreatment. I cried for my misfortune. I cried for my innocence. I couldn't do this anymore.