TRYING

For the whole day , she was trapped there without any food of course , she is just lost in her thoughts trying to keep her sane , trying to think seriously of her situation . But it was too hard for her to keep acting like an adult with a child body , though her mind is an adult right now , the side effect of being reborn for her is she will slowly regain a mind like her age now and it means that soon she can't no longer think like an adult .

At last , someone finally open the door . It was a young woman who's a servant there .

" Aria ... are you okay ? "

She held Aria's hand and brought her outside . That was Nexy , the only maid that was nice to her . Nexy was the one who taught her how to shower by herself , how to do houseworks , how to tie her hair , everything , nexy was the only one who can afford to teach her . Other servants only laugh when she makes mistakes but not Nexy .

" Sistwer Nwechy , Awia's hungwy ... "

( Sister Nexy , Aria's hungry ... )

" Oh dear ... of course you are .. master trapped you the whole day , it is night now .. "

Aria feels like she wants to cry when she saw Nexy .

" Sistwer Nwechy , Awia ..... Can't Awia .. eat ?? Awia is sowwyy , can Awia eat ... "

( Sister Nexy , Aria ..... Can't Aria .. eat ?? Aria is sorryy , can Aria eat ... )

Nexy can only sigh when she hears Aria's apologizing . Even if she wanted to , she can't do anything without her master's permission .

" I'm sorry Aria dear ... You can only eat with master's permission . But here .... I have three candy that you can eat . This is the only thing I can give you .. "

Aria knows that . If she insists , Nexy will be the one locked in that dirty room so she can only be grateful that she at least has candies . Nexy send her to her room wishing her to rest . She glances at a small clock in her room and it is already 10 PM . That's why she feels so drained . She washed herself letting loose her hair , changes her bandages and clean her wounds when she falls earlier . Usually , when she got wounds from the beating , she takes care of it by herself , she can put the medicine because she's used to it but sometimes when her family got too far , Nexy was the one who cried and cleans her wound . Eventhough the beating got worse , her dad never treat her properly , he just lets her be as if it was fine for her to die .

She stands infront of her windows room and opens it with climbing the small ladder . She stares at the moon and stars that still shining brightly . Her room is extremely small but for now it's enough for a 5 year old like her , she only has a few things in her room unlike other children that has toys and pretty dress , she only got a maid clothes and a few t-shirt that Nexy got for her . Fortunately , she still got daily needs like other maids . Her stomach starts to ache again . This happens whenever her dad starved her . She reaches for the candies and savour them in her mouth . Ahh - I'm sorry stomach , for now , you only get these .

She thinks about the advice from past Aria again . Sigh .... fine ... just give me one last chance , really the last one .... if it's doesn't work out again , she will think seriously of running away . She wanted happiness too .

She closed the windows and tried hard to climb her tall bed before close her eyes hoping for her family's love again .

The next day , her routine starts again . Luckily this time she gets to eat her breakfast because her brothers doesn't have the mood to create trouble for her . She already make her decision last night . She is destined to die at 25 so there is another 20 years for her to make efforts . This time , she will try to not lie to herself again . This time , she will honestly differentiate between love and hate . Well , hopefully her resolution stay strong . She can do this ... right ?!

" Aria ! First young master needs you !! "

Denice yells at her . She hurriedly went to his first brother room knowing his temper .

Myler is sitting on his bed reading financial magazines unbefitting with his age . Since he is the eldest , he always tried to be mature so that his dad can trust him more . He knows his dad pampered Cheryl more than him and Lysien . Lysien doesn't care about those things but he did , he wants to inherit Xeryl Corporation when he's older . He won't let his dad give it to Cheryl . He saw a petite girl staring at him beside his bed , he almost forget he called this girl .

" Violet , prepare my bath now .. "

Myler has always been calling her violet just by looking at her hair . He actually doesn't even care what her real name is .

" Ok , bwother .. " Aria sweetly smiles at her eldest brother .

( Ok , brother .. )

" Tsk ... don't call me brother ! It's disgusting ! Shut up ! And do your job ! "

He yells at her again . She noted this in her mind . Aria goes to the bathroom which is 3 times bigger than her's . Myler has a fancy bathtub and a separate shower section while in her bathroom she had to endure showering herself with cold water . She step onto the stool and open the water for the bathtub not forgetting to put relaxing aroma in the water for her brother . She run out and immediately informs her brother .

" Bwother ! It's done ! " With a smile looking at Myler .

Unfortunately , she forgot Myler was disgusted by her addressing him like that .

PANG ! A teacup flew towards Aria which make her splattered all over and her legs bleed because of the glass . Aria is so shocked that she just falls down unable to avoid it . It is scary to look at Myler now . He's like a rage dragon trying to blow fire at her .

" Are you deaf ?! I told you to shut up !! And you still dare to talk to me ?! "

" Hnng— " With her bleeding legs and her brother's rage , she can't endure her tears anymore . " Awia ... is sowwyy , awia .. awia just like bwother so awia .... called bwother , bwother ... Hnng — "

Myler stands up looked down at Aria who's near him . " Like ?! Me ? Brother ? Don't even dream to be my little sister , trash ! You should have be grateful dad lets you stay here and you still try to act like my sister ?! Listen here , trash ! if not because I don't want to smear bad reputation to Xeryl Corp , the first thing I would've done is dumping you to the place you belong ! You and mom are just a disgusting creature that shouldn't exist ! Get out now !! " Myler goes to the bathroom leaving Aria with that words .

The tears that she has been holding finally out all at once with Myler words . Before , she would be happy if she gets out of Myler's room with wound and bruises because that means that Myler loves her , she readily accepted the beatings cause that's the only time her brothers interacted with her so she's happy with that .

But now , all she feel is just pain ... it hurts so much that she started to think of past Aria's words . Maybe 'she' was right afterall , her family will never love her . It was just simply her imagination , she was the only one who's stupid for craving for love when she only got sufferings . The result of her stupidity was the proof that she got the same ending everytime she's reborn ..

Why did I crave for love so much ?

What's the big deal of it that I endure all this pain ?

It hurts so much ....

This is so unfair ...

I never think that my life was unfair , I thought it would be fine because I have dad and brothers ... But why ... ?

My mom was brothers mom too ...

Why did you treat me so differently ...

It hurts so much ....

She drag herself to her room enduring all those pains , ignoring all the servants eyes at her and started to cry again and again behind her room's door until she's asleep with all the glistening tears wondering what her fate will be in this life ...