Lockspur lay in total darkness, dreaming of his family home in the woodland foothills outside Century City. Pegrino 3 seemed so far away and so long ago. 40 years had passed by in the blink of an eye.
The faintest sounds of shallow breathing came from a back corner. Whatever Lady Hemmingford's doppelganger had done to speed up the healing process, had also rendered Lockspur immobilized and utterly vulnerable. But he wouldn't have minded, had he known. After the months-long journey to M6-117, the week of stasis induced hallucinations that chased him through the ship, and, let's not forget, him being so scared that he shit his pants not once, but probably twic, Lockspur had finally found peace in the darkness. He didn't care if he was still alive or if had died in his sleep. And at that moment, it really didn't matter, either way. The soothing emptiness felt good. And as a huge bonus, he was no longer in agonizing pain.
As the searing pain in his body subsided, Lockspur found himself transported home. He reasoned the others had found him unconscious in the wreckage, placed him in stasis and brought him home without him even realizing they had left M6-117. But how he got there was of little concern. He was grateful to be off that godforsaken rock. Away from the monsters, the glaring suns and the mission that had nearly killed them all.
Looking around his house, he soon realized this was not the empty, lonely home on Sol Lucia. That sparsely decorated shoebox had never been a real home. It was a place to sleep and eat and forget It was the refuge he landed in after the accident stole his family. All dead. In a single moment, and he wasn't even there to grieve. He was away crewing a long range freighter and didn't even find out what had happened until 7 months later. Ironically, while he slept in stasis, so too, had they. With one exception, he woke up, they would sleep forever.
But now, here he was back on his home world, and here they were, too. Talking and laughing and very much alive. Very much awake. Lilith had done it. She had actually done it. She brought them back. What was she had said before he came, I can cure you, and give them back. He knew it was impossible. You cant bring back the dead. She was lying. But he took her deal anyhow. In the off chance she wasn't a lunatic bitch.
And now, it seemed to have paid off, for the first time iin4 decades, he didn't have to live under a suffocating cloak of guilt. He felt good. Too good, he thought. But none of that mattered because either by miracle or magic, they were all together again. He wasn't alone anymore and that was worth more than all the credits in the halaxy combined.
His beautiful wife Maria, two sons and, baby girl were all with him. Just as he remembered. Like he fought so hard to forget.
He and Maria had planned the boys' births, but then little Zia's birth had taken them both by surprise. His beautiful angelic little girl, a result of an impromptu weekend away with Maria. A trip that had saved his marriage. Their marriage had suffered because of the long haulers he crewed. So, they had gone away to reconnect. And wow, how that reconnection had worked. Neither of them could have predicted the outcome. It was on that trip he had promised to come home for good; to give up long haulers. It was on that trip he had lied to Maria, and himself. And because of that lie, they had died while he was off world.
He blamed himself for their deaths. Telling himself if he'd been there, they would still be alive. But would they? Perhaps he would be dead too. He didn't know. It didn't matter. Dead or alive, they would have all been together.
Lockspur remembered the trip to Fhloston Paradise. And even though it was years ago when the kids were young, it seemed like yesterday. Terrible ideas rashed down on him. They would always be young. They wouldl never grow up. They would always be dead.
His oldest son Javier sat beside him on the old family couch, smiling and talking about his day at work. About his wife, his kids and the future he would never live to see. Lockspur loved his children with all his heart. And knew they loved him, too. And there it was. That terrible guilty word. The cruelest word of all, had. Javier had been his firstborn. Had been a real sports nut. Had been on the track team. And had been on the football team. And Lockspur had missed it all. He wished he had not. But he had. And nothing could ever change that. Even here., where ever here was, could erase the guilt he felt. A salty tear trickled down his sleeping cheek. God, why can't you just let me die?
For some unknown reason, which Lockspur couldn't quite understand, the couch had stretched out by 20 feet and turned to a slick shade of scarlet. He hated red. God, I miss them. He wanted them back. He wanted his old life back. But neither God nor the devil makes those kinds of deals. No matter what the books say. But Lilith said she could. She could give them back. So, Lockspur had done everything Lilith asked. And he would have done worse had she asked. But mercifully, she hadn't.
He knew whatever he was seeing was a lie. Hell, he thought. I'm finally where I belong. A place where my lies can torment me for all time.
But that wssnt wuite right. Because even an ugly red couch would be an improvement over the bleached out shithole wasteland known as M6-117. I wish I was home. I wish I was home. But wait, he thought, looking around at the now stretched out and distorted room. I am home. Aren't I?
The room collapsed into a jumbled-up kaleidoscope of jagged, long repressed memories that blew away on a blast of hot, moist air. The sudden gust of air stunk of rancid guts mixed with the acrid stench of bad breath. Even in his sleep, he grabbed his stomach and gagged.
Suddenly, his twisting family was back, fighting to stay in his weary mind. His oldest son laughed and said, "Sorry, poppy. He gestured playfully at the little girl in Lockspur's lap. "Smells like she needs a diaper change." Maria and Roberto sat on the opposite end of the couch. Miles away now. The couch had grown again. At least, they're still on the couch. They're still here with me. I haven't lost them. Not yet.
The little girl in his lap jumped up and licked his face like an affectionate dog. He grimaced, pulling his slippery, smelly cheek away, thinking her tongue felt like a soggy piece of coarse sandpaper. Gross, he thought, as his efforts to avoid her darting, playful tongue went to no avail. She was relentless.
The weight of the little girl became oppressive. She couldn't have weighed more than 20 pounds, but she felt as heavy as a medium-sized bear. And come to think of it, she smelled like one too. He tried to push her off, but his efforts were fruitless. The little girl would not budge. She just sat there looking at him with playful grin and making odd barking sounds like an excited dog wanting to play a game of fetch. He stared quizzically. Then two words drifted into his minds-eye Oh fuck.
His eyes popped open. Wide and bloodshot. He awoke nose to snout with a drooling, slobbering raptor that stood over him, licking his face. Lockspur's hands and feet went into a sudden feverish back peddling fury that propelled him out from under the creature and across the empty black room. He could see nothing. But he could hear the creature hopping up and down, leap fogging after him, making sounds like excited barking puppy.
The damn thing wanted to play.
Lockspur just wanted to get away.
The scene was almost comical. Lockspur evaded, and the giant doggy followed. How cute. Lockspur didn't notice his strength had returned and the pain in his body had faded.
The back of his skull slammed into a steel wall and the raptor slid to a stop 3 feet in front of him. Somehow, through both the dream state and subsequent game of tag, Lockspur had kept his barely functioning glasses on his face. They slid onto his face and he saw the creature's chin hit the ground,. Its wagging butt rose high in the air and its tail flitted around excitedly. He looked around for something to throw. A stick. A rock. Hell, a fucking grenade if he could find one. Anything. He came up empty. No fetch for you, doggy.
A woman's voice came from the creature's mouth and he blinked dumbly, thinking he had finally lost his mind completely. Raptors don't talk. A split second later, a young, short-haired blonde peeked over the creature's head. She straddled the creature's back, like a Native American riding a wild paint. He shook his head and thought, well why the fuck not? The damn thing is as big as a horse.
"It's OK." she said, throwing a leg over its back and sliding off, landing as gracefully on her feet as if she ridden wild raptors her whole life. "She's harmless." She patted it on the back and its tongue lolled out. If it had had eyes, he imagined they would have rolled.
Lockspur fixated on her, marveling at her girlish mannerisms. Maybe she's a dream, he thought and laughed. Maybe this is Hell's way of messing with me. This is just a nightmare. I'm still sleeping. Its all happening in my head.
"This isn't happening in your head." she said.
The thing sneezed, covering Lockspur with a speckled shower of raptor snot. Nope, he thought, wiping his face with the back of his hand. Definitely not a dream. The woman standing over him was in her late 20s, or early 30s. "It could have killed me."
"Definitely." she replied in an innocent tone. "If I hadn't reached you when I did, you'd be floating through this creature's digestive juices right now." She held out a hand. "Carolyn."
"Ah.. Thanks." Lockspur said, still pressed against the wall as the beast skittered side to side like a football player doing drills. The creature wouldn't take no for an answer. It wanted to play. He thought of what being turned into raptor excrement might actually feel like. "Do you think you could call your dog off?" Lockspur asked, shewing the creature away.
"I was told you were old. But you are really-"
"You're funny." Lockspur said, cutting her off. "Have you got something against old people?"
"It's just you're really not that old. You're kinda my age."
Lockspur held up his hands, studying them in the grainy green screens. It was obvious, he hadn't just healed. He was young again. What was not so obvious was that all memory of Lilith's promises and his secret mission were gone. Whipped from his memory. Lilith's impromptu blood infusion had seen to that.oh, the memory was still there, just buried deep.
Carolyn patted the raptor on the side, rubbed behind its ear hole and its hind foot pounded the ground fiercely. She whispered something in the raptor's ear and it gave off a disappointed half bark/ half growl and bounded away into the darkness. Presumably running off to play with something less timid.
"Neat trick." Lockspur said, feeling better than he had since he arrived. Better thxn he had in months, maybe years. He lifted his shirt. The hole where the pipe skewered his abdomen had knitted itself togetherhad turned a pale pink. It was almost gone. But that's not what caught his attention. The nearly 12 inch scare where OCP surgeons had implanted a mechanical liver was gone. He placed his hand the scar and pressed his fingers in deep. That wasnt the only thing missing. The implant was gone. Ans so was the pain around his cancerous pancreas. "Care to explain your pet?" he asked, dropping his shirt and staring in the direction the raptor had gone.
The young woman shrugged and said, "Some say I'm an influencer. Others call me less complimentary things. I see myself more as a people person. I ask people to do things, as nd they do."
"You're telepathic." he said, staring at the hatch the creature had wiggled through.
"Hardly," she said in an offended, girlish tone that felt like a curt slap. "I can implant visions, conjure false feelings, create new memories, and drive my enemies insane with fear. Compared to me, a telepath is a tarot card reader."
"So…" Lockspur replied, looking her up and down. "You made it like you? That seems like cheating."
"Would you perfer I'd stuffed a grenade down its gullet?" she asked, gesturing for him to sit back down.
"It's effective."
"It's messy, " she replied.
"What did you do to it?"
"When I was a child. I had a small dog named Binky. I put an exact copy of Binky's mind over the Raptor's." She looked at Lockspur and added, "Fortunately for you. Binky was a very loving little dog." She shrugged and added, "When I arrived, the beast was standing over you. I had no time to access its intentions. I made a snap decision. . Binky was the first non-lethal creature that entered my mind. I knew he wouldn't hurt you. So you got, Binky the raptor."
Lockspur sat down, flexed his not-so crushed hand. It looked normal, but making a fist felt like dipping it into a deep bucket of hot water. The odd sensation started at the fingertips and ended just below the elbow. If he had to use it, he probably could. But it was going to be a long while before it had any actual lasting strength.
"What did you say your name was?" he asked.
"Carolyn, Fry."
"Carlos Lockspur." he said, offering a hand with a raised brow. The name sounded familiar, like he had just heard it. "Ahh... Dont take this the wrong way, but weren't you killed in the crash?" he asked.
"That all depends. Do believe in ghosts?" she said, reaching out and touching his hand. He saw an image of her being pulled into the darkness and realized she had imprinted a vision in his mind.
"You need to make contact to imprint"
"No. It's less invasive that way," she admitted, releasing his hand. "And besides, you've had enough shock to your system for a while."
He felt a sudden, if not, overwhelming sense of deja vu and said, "Have we met before? I feel like I was supposed to meet someone here. Was it you?"
"Yes, and no." she said.
"Do I even want to know what's going on?" he asked, thinking of all the ways she could have altered his mind.
Carolyn shrugged. "Honesty, probably not. But if it's any comfort, Lady Hemmingford sent me here, too. Just not your Lady Hemmingford." she added. "Mine is a few years older."
"Is she up to her old tricks?"
"Unfortunately,. And thanks to what the two of you did here today. There are many, Liliths now." Carolyn explained. "One from this timeline, one from the first timeline." She smiled and added, "One in every timeline."
"But I didn't do anything." Lockspur stressed.
"Oh but you did. You just cant remember what you did. Call it a side-effect of your rapid recovery. But fear not, your culpability in this little fiasci will all come back to you in time."
She frowned at him and said, "I wasn't."
"It was her." he said, touching his arm. "She saved me."
"Two times in as many hours."
Lockspur rose to his feet and Carolyn stepped away. "It was not an act of kindness. She only saved me for her own selfish purposes. She needs me. I still have purpose." He jammed a trembling finger in Carolyn's face and added, "She uses people like pawns in a game."
Carolyn gently lowered his hand and said, "Oh, come now, you're only pissed off because you woke up and realized you're a pawn and not the king."
"What are you here for?" He asked, turning to the sound of something big running towards them in the next compartment.
Binky the raptor bounded in through the open hatch high above the far corner. It landed hard and skidded to a stop just behind Carolyn and made several incoherent noises in her ear. She didn't turn to look. She knew it was Binky. "They've sabotaged the main control console on your ship. I need you to repair the damage and get that ship mobile again. Dark things are going to happen soon, and when they do, we need to be ready to move."
"What dark things?" Lockspur didn't ask how she knew the ship was damaged or who they were. Those were big picture questions that rarely, if ever, ended in answers. It was the certainty in Carolyn's voice that convinced Lockspur. But if she knew that much about what was happening now, and going to happen later, she also knew he no longer had any way to fix the busted ship. Moss had dragged him off the bridge without his tools. "Sorry, but I can't help you. I lost my tools back on the bridge."
Carolyn turned to the now sitting raptor, who picked a large black backpack off the ground and handed it to her, "Did you get it all?"
Binky snorted and nodded her head.
Carolyn turned back to Lockspur, holding the pouch he abandoned on the bridge. "Then I guess it's fortunate for us, Binky brought these." she said, handing Lockspur the overburdened tool pouch. "In case youre wondering, Binky used to love playing fetch. And he always found what he was searching for."
Lockspur held up his left hand and said, "What about my hand? It's still not strong enough."
Carolyn held up her own left hand and said, "But this one is fine."
He sighed, took the pouch, pushed the strap over his head, threaded his left arm through the strap and rested his hand on the pouch. "I suppose you've already thought of a way to get us all the way out there?"
She smiled, hopped on Binky's back and held out a hand.
He looked up at Carolyn, and said, "Why did I ask?"