Chapter XXIII

After new years, a few weeks passed.

Briella's School was back up and running, and it took everyone a few days until they got back into the swing of things.

And with that reverting back to normal, so did Ryan's and Briella's hang out. This time, their meeting took place at Briella's place.

It was a little bit past 5, on a cold, cloudless Friday afternoon when a knock was heard on her door.

She rushed over to the door, knowing who was behind it before she even opened the door.

With the unlocking of the door and the push of the doorknob...

"Hey," Ryan greeted her.

"Hey. Welcome in," she replied before she moved to the side, allowing Ryan inside.

He briefly bent down and took off his shoes.

"Alright, where do we go?" he asked.

"Here, follow me. I don't have much space, so I hope the living room will make due!".

"Oh, anywhere at all, I don't mind," Ryan responded.

With that, both Ryan and Briella sat by the table. From his bag, Ryan extracted a bunch of pages and a pencil or two, with an addition of a rubber.

Briella reached down for one of the chests on her coffee table, before pulling out her pages, a pencil or two with her rubber.

"Do you need me to draw anything specific?" Briella asked.

At first, Ryan looked at her, lost in his thoughts. "Give me a moment. I do have an idea, but I want to develop it that bit further. I hope you don't mind if I say that I have nothing in plan for you to draw.".

"No, that's perfectly fine. Take your time. I have something of my own to do anyways," she replied.

Looking down at her page, she thought to herself, 'I-I really want to write another song.'.

Pressing the back of her pan against her bottom lip, she thought about the theme of the song. 'What should this song be about?'. She tried to think of different ideas, but the only thing that circled her mind was - once again - heartbreak.

'Heartbreak? Should I write another song about heartbreak?' Briella thought to herself, but soon enough she brushed her thoughts off and began scribbling words and ideas.

At one point, the movement of Briella's hand caught Ryan's eye. He saw here writing words upon words. Some in word clouds, while others outside.

"What are you doing?" Ryan proceeded to ask, curious.

Pausing for a brief moment, Briella's eyes rose up to him. Their gazes meet.

"I am planning out another song, I guess.".

Ryan smiled at her words. "So that's how you plan out a song?". A brief pause. The smile on Ryan's face receded. "I feel really honoured to witness something as rare as that.".

His words now caused Briella to let a smirk grow on her lips. "Honoured? I'd understand if I was to be some world-class renowned songwriter, but I am a crappy writer.".

"Ah, don't say that. From what I read, your writing holds emotion. That's what matters the most, or at least to me it is. That's the easiest way to get to the readers, the listeners, whoever it is, it's the easiest way to get to their hearts. To leave an impact on them," he replied.

As a reply, Briella nodded to his words. She agreed with him.

"What's the song going to be about anyway?" Ryan inquired.

From the page, Briella looked back at him. A small, sheepish smile grew on her lips. Just as she was about to reply, her eyes fell back down to her table, "I am not all too sure yet. I am still trying to figure that part out.".

"Oh?".

"Yah..." she began. "So I decided to just begin to jot random words, phrases, ideas down and to see where I go from there.".

A brief moment of silence deafened the room.

A small smirk grew on Ryan's lips before he began speaking. "Here... since you helped me with my stuff, why don't I lend you a hand and help you write a song?".

Briella's surprise when she heard his words was shown in a form of a mere gape. Her eyes widened ever so slightly. "T-to help me?" she shuddered.

"Yes! As I said, you helped me with all the drawing and whatnot.". A short pause. "So, I thought it would be nice for me to offer you my services too. Not only that, but I also genuinely want to help," he added.

"I-I mean, sure. Help would be more than welcome," Briella replied.

"Perfect!".

With that, Ryan scooched over, closer to Brella.

"Alright..." he began. "Can I see what's your plan so far?".

"Of course!!". Briella handed him over the page.

Taking it into his hands, his eyes scanned thoroughly through the page. With the furrow of his brows, he proceeded onto asking, "another sad song, eh?".

"Well... yeah. I mean, I am not sure what else to write about... nothing else is coming to mind," She admitted.

"Hmmm..." Ryan began. Then for a moment, once again, silence took over.

Next, a thought entered Ryan's head, it caused him to widen his eyes ever so slightly.

From here, he looked at Briella, only for Briella to look at him. She noticed something in his eyes, so she furrowed her brows.

"Ryan? Is everything okay?".

"Y-yes, I just...". He took a deep breath. "So, in the last song, you wrote about heartbreak...".

"Yes?..." Briella replied.

"How about you write a love song this time? I mean, you can write a song about how you want to fall in love again an-". He was interrupted.

"A-about me falling in love again?? No, no thank you. I don't want to write a song about love.".

Briella's words caused confusion to grow steadily within Ryan. "W-what do you mean by that? Don't you want to be in love again? Don't you want to meet someone else? Someone who'll be worth your time?".

Briella let out a quiet, pained sigh. Then, seconds later, she shook her head.

"No..." she began. "I-I don't want to be in love.".

'At least... not right now...' Briella thought to herself.

"Why? Why don't you want to be in love again?".

For some reason, his words caused a bolt of pain to strike Briella's heart. A small lump began to form in her throat, but she disregarded "Because! Because... it's not worth it, Ryan. It's not worth my time, my energy. I don't want to get my heart broken again!".

"Well, I am sorry to break it to you, Briella, but heartbreak is inevitable.".

His words caused Briella to look at him in the eyes. 'He went through this, didn't he? With the passing of his girlfriend... The heartbreak, the pain. Yet... he feels so differently about love. I wonder... is it because he writes about love?'. She felt tears swell in her eyes. "I... I don't get it.".

"What?".

"If the heartbreak is inevitable, then why do we fall in love in the first place?!" her voice was a bit louder than she expected it to be. She saw that Ryan noticed this too. It was shown in a form of a slight surprise expressed across his face. But from there, he clenched his jaw.

"Because!!" He shouted out. The anger that has built up within him peered through the surface. Once more, his eyes widened. He realized that this was the first time he had raised his voice at Briella. He closed his eyes for a mere second. He took the silence in the room to his advantage and continued talking. "Because... love can make you feel as if you were shot right in the heart... Love can also make you feel like you are the happiest person on Earth! There are so many things that love can make you feel!" Ryan elaborated. He spoke from his heart.

Briella quietly hitched a breath as her eyes grew tearier and tearier. Then... a droplet managed to find its way from Briella's face down to the laminated floor of her living room. The lump in her throat grew back rapidly. She tried to swallow the pain down.

"Most of that..." she began, her voice was shaky. "It's most of that... that I no longer want to feel...". A pause. "I don't want love.".

Through this whole conversation, Ryan felt tense, but the final four words of her set him off.

"E-excuse me?..." Ryan started. "Did you just say that you don't want love!?".

Briella shot Ryan a glare only to see his nostrils flaring with anger. From there, worry began to sink in, her eyes moved off him. She never saw this side of Ryan.

"How can you know what real love feels like when you've never experienced it! That, what you shared with that bastard. Fucking kill me if you think that's what is real love looks like!...". A pause. Ryan tried to calm himself down, but the more he tried the more frustrated he became.

Then, before he could stop himself... "I will make sure you see what real love actually feels like. Even if it means for me to make you fall in love with me, I will gladly do so!".

'FUCK!!!' He thought to himself.

Briella's eyes widened at his words. It took her a moment to comprehend what she heard. When she did, her head lowered.

"S-shit!" Ryan muttered under his breath. "B-Briella?".

"Get out...".

"B-Briella?".

She shot another glare at him before standing up. "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY APARTMENT!!". This time, Briella didn't give a damn about her roar. She saw the surprise and fear expressed across Ryan's face.

It also took him a second to comprehend what just happened. And when he managed to get a slight grip on everything, he stood up. He kept his gaze, his eyes on Briella. Ryan's face softened as a frown appeared on his face.

He picked up his things and did as he was told. He left.

Briella stayed in her place right until the door.

With that, she collapsed down to the ground.

Seconds passed before heavy, painful sobs were heard. She began to cry.

But this time...

This time, it wasn't for Dylan...