Chapter 11
"Jesus Lily, shut up" I said in between laughs."What where you thinking?"
"What? I was pretty crazy then" she said relaxing her back to the chair, legs crossed with a glass of whine to her lips.
"I bet your ass you were" we both resumed our loud laughter.
Lily and I agreed to have drinks today and talk. She really needed to relieve some stress and honestly I needed someone to talk to since Cass is busy these days because of her new job.
My leave started two days ago and by Saturday, mom and Cass will be arriving. Lily has managed to convince me in teaching her to make some traditional christmas dishes and a few pasteris.
"Ben dropped the bomb on me last night, that his mom is thinking of coming here for christmas to STAY with us" she stressed the 'stay' wide eyed.
"Is that bad?" I said raising a brow at her.
"Are you kidding me Tina? I am freaking out, what if she doesn't like me, what if she tells Ben to leave me, what if she thinks I'm not good enough for her son?" her breathing increased as she put her palm on her forehead. That last question opened old wounds. I went numb and my heart thumped in my chest.
"Tee!, Tina!!, Christiana!!" eyes widening in fright.
"I'm sorry I uh..blacked out"
"Yeah...no kidding, are you alright?" she said with a hint of concern in her voice.
"I'm fine, just tired"
"Yeah sure" she didn't look cobvinced but I knew she let it go because she felt I wasn't comfortable talking about it now. I honestly wasn't and I was more than glad she understood.
"Ben's mom will love you and if she doesn't, Ben will never leave you if he truely loves you, he'll fight for you" my heart ached as I remembered.
~~FLASH BACK~~
"You will never be enough for my son and I'll make sure he sees that and leaves you"she said with the most evil expression on her face.
"He..he..he loves me, he'll never leave me, he promised" I said with an unknown weakness as my voice cracked with tears threatening to fall from my eyes.
"Oh really? He loves you huh? So what will you say about this wedding card?" she said with a mischievious smirk as she threw at me a wedding card with MY Danny and some other girl. My legs became numb as I immediately staggered and fell to the floor. This can't be true, this must be a mistake.
"I just want her to like me you know"
"You'll do fine girl, you have to put more trust too in Ben you know"
"I know, thanks, I needed that" I nodded at her as we continued with our drinks.
We talked more as we orderd a few more drinks, I really needed this time out to relax and catch my breath.
All these years I've literally put myself in a shell and have refused to let myself free, I deserve to be happy too and live my life don't I?
Chris, hmmph. He's so amazing, sweet and such a gentleman, literally everything I've hoped for. My heart is falling I'll admit but my head is still too stubborn to agree. I can't blame myself anyway, I'm just protecting my heart. What if I let Chris in and one day he just decides he doesn't want me anymore or he finds someone better than me? I'm honestly not trying to be selfish here but I don't think my heart can take another heartbeat or betrayal again.
After Lily and I left the bar, we both said our goodbyes and entered our cars. I reached home a few minutes later and immediately I got down from the car, a call came in.
"Fucking love of my life" I giggle as I walk to my door.
"Hey Cass, what do you want?"
"I can never be nice to you or call you sweet names?, you're no fun" I can imagine her already pouting and I roll my eyes.
"Whatever, how you doing?"
"Uh..doing great, I'm finally getting some breathing space from work so, What've you been up to?"
"A lot of christmas shopping, you and mom have really got me working the past week till today, I made a new friend though, you'll love her"
"I haven't been gone for more than 2 months from your house and you're replacing me? Wow Tee I honestly thought we we're eternal".
"I don't understand how I ended up with such a dramatic psycho like you" I heard her chuckle and sighed.
"You love me that way, bitch you own me"
"Shut up and get the hell out of my phone geez"
"I love you too moron talk to you tomorrow, bye bitch"
"Bye".
This girl will honestly be the death of me. Hmmph.
I walked to my room to freshen up and came down to fix myself something to eat. Netflix has really been my life saver this past week, because I binge watch my favourite shows even till midnight. I picked up my phone to try and call Chris, he's been my partner in crime with this but I remembered he called ealier today and said he'll be very busy today and won't have any free time. I'm worried he hasn't gotten anything to eat yet. I stubbornly still dial his number. My heart needed to know if he was ok and I really wanted to hear his voice again.
"Hi" he breathed out and I could hear how tired he was from his voice. A broad smile appeared on my face. I know I'm distracting him but I cant help it, I really needed to hear his voice even if it takes for me to stay on this call all night just to keep him company, I'll do it. I really don't care.
Gosh Chris what have you gotten me into?