After the rain

Like the touch of rain, love touched me. Love knows no boundaries. Submission is not love. To love is to surrender. To love is to do things unconditionally. No terms. No conditions applied. The thunder was making me nervous. The stormy clouds gathered in the sky. The pitter - patter of the rain was tumbling down the dark clouds. The bright sky has turned all grey. We board down the carriage and took shelter under a shade. We sat on the floor. There were horses in the stable. They were making sounds. Dan looked exhausted. Dad's bruises were deep. He was really in a bad condition. I could feel his pain. He was not ordinary but he was of royal birth. Just for my sake, he had to endure this hardship. A sense of guilt overshadowed me. He ruined himself for you, Anna. Those thoughts were disturbing me terribly. I felt cheated by fate. I felt the guilt. I felt his grief. Dan, why did you do this? Why couldn't you just let me die? Why do you have to save me? My life isn't worth it. Yours do. Understand it, dear Dan. Let this lady of shallot be dead. I don't worth the sacrifice, Dan. Really, I don't.

Precious, you are precious. Anna Jane, you are precious. Damn it.

Those lines were imprinted on the neurons of my brain. I couldn't help smile. I was special. I wasn't an animal. I was a human being. He treated me well. He loved me too, I suppose. Somewhere in his heart, there is a seedling of my love that will grow into a plant someday. I assumed.

I was staring at Dan. He was wearing specs. He was reading a book. His back took the support of the shabby wall. I felt his presence but it seemed as if he didn't feel mine. I could see a tiny cut over his neck. It assumed that it was scratch. His beautiful body was stained with scratches because of me. I couldn't help perceive the guilt that I was feeling. I wanted to kiss him and assure him of my unconditional love. I wanted to make him feel secure and safe. The smell of horse poop was coming from the stable. It was our motel for the night. I can't deny the difficulty that I was going to face. I wanted to have a nice talk with Dan. But my dear Lancelot was busy with his beautiful mistress, his book. I couldn't help giggling over that phrase.

Dan spoke, "Why are you laughing, Anna?"

I replied," Nothing, Dan. I was just thinking that the weather is so romantic. Isn't it? "

Dan spoke after a pause," Yes, it is. Anna, I don't enjoy this weather much by the way. Sorry to disappoint you".

Man, Dan was an old soul. He didn't enjoy this weather. The smell of fresh earthly mud and algae intoxicated human senses. The rainy season is my favourite. Even though the last time, fever caught me. I always loved the thought of dancing in the rain fearlessly.

That's when things get to heat up. Dan looked at me with passionate eyes. His gaze pulled over my sensuous lips. I came a bit closer and we pressed our lips against each other. The warmth could melt the icicles. The feeling....

The scene was playing in my head. Yes, I was daydreaming about him. My sweet illusions. The rain enthralled me with desire.

He seemed so tempting. Dan said, "Go to sleep, Anna. I will keep a watch for few hours".

I answered, "Fine, Dan. Moreover, I was feeling sleepy".

I took Dan's hand and placed it along mine. I made his shoulder, my pillow. He didn't make a fuss about that. I slept quietly.

Dan POV:

I was bored reading the book. I just wanted to avoid a conversation with Anna. Somewhere in my heart, I was feeling distress full whenever she looks at me with her innocent black eyes. Get it out of your head, Dan. No, not the L word thing. Stop it. Make it go away. I closed my eyes and sighed. As my gaze fell over Anna, I felt calm. She looked like a two year old girl with her hands wrapped around her favourite teddy. I was her life size teddy. I smiled. A strand of her red hair fell over her cheeks. I removed it and place it over her ear. I caressed her soft cheeks with my hand. How innocent! How delicate and fragile she was!

Why do she hurt herself? Why do she cut herself often? Can't she love herself for who she was?

Look who's speaking that. It took seventeen years of my life for me to accept my flaws. I knew her struggle.

After the rain, she will open her eyes.

And will look into mine with an innocent smile.

I would look away and shy.

Bold as she was, she will speak her mind.

After the rain, I would love her right.

Desire would tread on

And kiss would follow.

After the rain, I won't be hollow.

After the rain, I will be yours laying against the willow.

After the rain, the time will come when love will be our shadow.

After the rain, love will follow.

After the rain.....

Love will follow.

I wrote a poem for her in the book with my fountain pen. I wish I could read to her and hear her giggle. Her laughter made me feel appreciated.

Anna POV:

"Dad, stop it. Please, I beg you", I screamed.

Dad won't stop hitting Mom. I was so scared. My heart beating scarily.

"How dare you lie to me, Faith?"

Dad was interrogating Mom. He was being himself. A violent jerk.

Mom painfully spoke," I didn't, James. I didn't lie to you".

Dad caught her by her red hair and dragged her onto the floor. He kicked her.

"You are a whore. You slept with that guy. What was his name? Speak up. Damn it. "

" Hmm... Ouch... Urgh"

"Did you lose your voice or something? Faith, tell me his damned name".

"Conrad ... Conrad Jane".

"You cheat! Filthy woman. I knew the day I married you that you would be a cheater".

"James, I was drunk. It sort of happened. It was an accident ".

He slapped her tightly. Mom screamed in pain. I was crying as Dad turned around me. He took a knife from the shelf and held against my neck.

He spoke," I will kill her, Faith. Apologise to me, right now. Bow down to me".

Mom spoke with a tearful and bruised face, "Please, don't hurt her. She is your daughter. Have some mercy".

"Faith, apologise now". He tilted the knife a bit to scare Mom.

"I am sorry, James. Wait up".

Police sirens were heard.

"You little bitch, you called the police. I condemn you to hell, Faith. Listen Anna, you would be like your mother and no one will love you. Remember, there are no perfect endings in this world".

He was a psychopath. I remember police taking him in custody. He cursed us. He said, "You all be doomed".

My mom filed for divorce after enduring the violence for ten years. She gathered courage finally. She got married to my step dad, Conrad Jane. We lived happily. Happiness knew its way into our house. Home sweet home.

After the accident, everything just shattered. Mom was dying.

There are no perfect endings in this world. No one will love you ever.

Dad was right. Whoever will do so shall be doomed. We were doomed. Mom left me and I was doomed. My step dad took me to a therapist. Therapy was not helping me.

Love will find its way, Anna.

Those were my lovely mother's important sayings.

It will find its way when you will least expect it to. It will show up. Love will find its way. Everything will be fine. Don't you worry, my sweetheart?

She always said that to me. Always. It would boost my confidence. I could fight the whole world. I missed her. There was emptiness surrounding me. When you love will find its way to me? How long do I have to wait? I only could wonder.

I wiped my eyes and look towards Dan who was glancing at me. I pulled his collar and pressed my lips against him. There were sparkles of life in him. I felt rejuvenated. I whispered in his ears, "I love you, Dan".

That's when he answered, "Wake up, Anna. It's morning".

It was a daydream. I really confessed to him in my dream. I did love him. Don't I?

I replied, "Good morning, Dan". He smiled. A beautiful morning fresh smile that could lit up weary travellers.

"It has stopped raining, Anna. We should go now ".

" Dan, I am hungry".

"There are some fruits in the bag. Eat them".

I took an apple out of the bag. I took a bite. I munched and said, "Dan, what if we get lost here?"

"lost? Then, it will be a lovely adventure for us to explore.... "

" Explore huh? Love will find its way, Dan".

"You are a hopeless romantic, aren't you? Anna".

"Yes, my lord. I am really believe that ".

He laughed. His laughter I tell you always distracts me.

" Anna, get moving ".

" Dan, I need to use a bathroom".

"Fine, let's knock at the owner's door ".

An old man opened the door. Well, we requested him politely. He let us in. I used the bathroom and we left. We thanked him for his courtesy.

We were treading on. I saw a city. Dan proclaimed," Its Camelot, Anna. We made it finally".

I hugged him in joy.

We did make it, my dear Dan.