Ignorance

Mrityunjay stood watching as she asked him to accompany her to her cottage. His mind screamed "CAUTION,” but his heart had a mind of its own. He gestured her to move first and Shivani got going.

They did not say a word to each other as they walked. The silence was awkward, uncomfortable. When they reached her cottage, Shivani searched in her sling bag for the keys. They were buried deep inside and she had to hunt hard to find them, while Mrityunjay waited patiently. She managed to find the key and fumbled to put it into the hole. He watched how her hands trembled slightly, as she tried to unlock the door, which she could have opened with her eyes closed,

if not for him. Shivani was getting irritated with herself.

Mrityunjay came up behind Shivani, placing his hand over her's and turning the key in one easy motion. The lock snapped open and so did her breath. She turned around and had to crane her neck up, to glance at him. He stood right behind, staring down at her with stormy eyes, like he had looked at her the day she had kissed him.

Shivani looked away instinctively and went in, holding the door open for him. Mrityunjay entered wordlessly. She left the door open and went straight into the kitchen.

He looked around her cottage, which was much smaller than his, but it did not seem like she had much stuff anyway. He walked towards the small kitchenette and watched as she prepared the tea. There was something intimate about watching her work in that small space.

Shivani knew that he was staring at her, yet she didn't seem to mind. He watched her unabashedly as she put the tea pan on the hob and poured water into it. There was a rhythm in the way she moved. And then she hummed a small tune, totally unmindful of his presence or what he would think.

"I like strong tea. And you?" she asked him. They were two strangers finding comfort in each other's company, unlike anything they had ever experienced so far.

“I like mine with lots of milk," he responded. The differences in them were all too obvious, right from the way they preferred their tea to their social standing.

She handed him a cup of piping hot tea and went into the small living area with her’s. There was only one couch - a two seater. They both sat at the two ends, carefully avoiding contact. Shivani sat with her feet up and Mrityunjay sat crouching. "What did you want to talk about?" he asked, sipping the tea and looking ahead.

She didn't know how to begin. She got up and walked towards the balcony door. Then, she abruptly turned around, her face troubled. "I know what you think of me," she said finally. "I can't work with people who can't respect me. So, I wrote that resignation letter," she blurted.

Mrityunjay listened to her every word intently.

"You were gone this whole last week....." this was the crux of the matter. "And....and......I" she averted her eyes, scanning around the room, pursing her lips. She spread out her fingers, trying to find the words she was looking for. "And...... I......" she looked at him helplessly. Could he not understand what she was trying to say?

Mrityunjay's chest was pounding hard. This girl was sure to drive him mad. "Knowing what I think of you, suggesting what you are trying to, is stupid," he muttered, ending her agony. Shivani stood staring at him, unable to believe how effortlessly, he completely trounced her self respect. Gasping for air, "don't you feel anything?" was all she could manage to say. "I was upset, angry, irritated and so many things that you were gone for a whole week. And when you come back, you are going about your job like nothing happened? I can’t concentrate on anything and you don't seem to feel a thing. What are you made of - stone?" she blasted at him.

Mrityunjay could hold it no more. He stood up enraged at her words. "Yes, I am made of stone. I feel nothing - absolutely nothing and that's why, I let you kiss me and still keep the job and that's why, as soon as I came back, I came to see you before doing anything else and that's why I walked in here, when I should be firing you for talking to me the way you did at the stables," he burst out in rage.

Shivani's hands came up to her mouth, not believing her ears.

Mrityunjay looked at the roof, his left hand coming to his forehead, as he looked away troubled. She knew she had to make the first move. She walked up to him slowly... unsure of how he would react. When she came close, he looked at her finally, his chest expanding and contracting in uneven breaths.

Shivani hesitated for a few seconds and then came closer still, hugging Mrityunjay apprehensively. She gazed up at him and he looked down at her, stunned. "There is something going on here Mrityunjay. At this point of time... I can't define it....... but it's there... I feel it every waking moment...." she tried to reason, pleading for his understanding.

"If you feel what I do.... then," she closed her eyes, offering her lips to him.

Mrityunjay's heart was thudding uncontrollably with passions. She was asking him to go with the flow, to acknowledge what he was feeling. She was asking him to live life..... it was not so bad..... surely he deserved love. "LOVE" - the word swam in his head. He knew it from the very first moment he had set eyes on her. He was falling in love with her.

When his emotions got the better of him, Mrityunjay bent down, brushing her lips with his. Shivani gripped his shirt hard as his lips touched hers. He kissed her slowly, his lips lingering over hers, moving from the upper lip to lower lip, gently coaxing her to part them. Shivani withdrew slowly, as his kiss intensified. Both were breathing hard, a slow kiss, a moment of need and two hearts full of passions.

She held on to him for support as her knees felt like jelly. She opened her eyes slowly and peered into his that were honest, big, full of desire. They both admired each other in silence. "I know many woman, who are ready to throw themselves at me," Mrityunjay began, looking at her intensely.

Shivani was shocked by his words.......She pushed away from him, her eyes narrowing in displeasure. "What did you say?" she snarled at him.

"Shivani," he tried to pacify, coming to her. “I have not finished saying what I want to say," he countered, pulling her close to him.

"You think I am someone, who'll throw herself at men?" she snapped , furious at his insinuation.

"Shivani!" he screamed, to get her to stop somehow. "You are not listening to me. Hear me out first..." he tried to reason, pulling her face up to look at him.

"Get out right now!" she screamed, hurt writ large on her face...

"Foolish girl, listen to me, hear what I am trying to say..." he tried to get her to listen to him.

"No Mrityunjay, leave NOW!" she lashed out and ran into her bedroom, locking it shut from inside.