Chapter 1

I'm at the seashore right now watching the sunset. I'm used to it that every afternoon I will be here to watch the sunset.



It was so relaxing here, you see, the breeze of the air, the sea waves sound, plus the sunset view, it looks like an aesthetic that I see in pictures.



"Hey! Ashrielle" I turned around, it was Jax, running towards me.



I smiled at him and wave. Jax is my best friend. He is always there when I'm sad. I don't know why he can read my emotions, or I was just too transparent, but I thank him for that, for being there when I badly need someone.



"You really like sunsets, huh?" He asked while smiling. I just smiled and nodded and shifted my gaze right to the sea.



We watched the sunset silently, minutes had passed, I decided to talk, to start a conversation.



"Next month, you will be going to the States," I said while looking at him.



Then he looked at me, "I wish I can stay with you forever, but I can't."



I smiled weakly, "I'll wait for you."



He shook his head and looked at the sea, "don't wait for me, you will just regret it."



I know that there is something wrong. I think it was about the business, business of my parents and his parents.



I have an older sister, it was Sophia, the one who always gets my parents attention; always get what she wants, she was the one that people praises.



I know that one day my sister will be fix marriage to Jax, yes to my best friend. Jax is older than me and, he doesn't have any siblings. He's the only child.



I know that there's something strange about my feelings towards him; when I'm with him, I feel so happy, I feel so comfortable, I feel like I'm safe.



I know it's wrong, but I think my feelings will fade someday. Since Jax will be in the states for many years.



Maybe after that years, there will be.... He will give me a chance, but if not, still fine.

Then he glared at me, making me stopped from talking.



"It's getting dark, let's go inside," He said and immediately went to the mansion. The mansion is owned by my parents, here on this island, here in El Nido.



I sighed, maybe he just doesn't want to hurt me, I was admiring him for years... But he was meant to my sister.



I stopped walking when I was already in front of the door. I immediately entered and went to my room. I went inside my bathroom to take a half bath.



I used to hate myself for liking him because I know it was wrong, waiting for him to give me a chance when I know in the first place, he will end up marrying my sister.



I went out of the bathroom and got some clothes in the closet, then I put on my underwear and my pajamas.



I lay down on my bed to sleep, I don't want to eat, I lost my appetite, and also no one cares if I will not eat or I get sick, no one cares for me, tho Jax was there, but he can't take care of me because my sister is always stalking him wherever he goes, my sister hates me.



My sister hates me as my parents did. It's because my sister is always the one who gets on the top, while I was just in the 3rd spot.



Well, she's always the first; in our house, she's still the first one, the princess, the queen, the brat. Yes, a brat, she has this b*tch attitude, like the mean girl in school, the popular one.

Even my parents know that, but they did nothing. 



They really love my sister while I was just nothing to them. Sometimes I feel so jealous, but I always kept my thoughts away because I love them.



We're here in Nacpan Beach, taking a short vacation, every holiday we're always here, and I also like to be here because you can get the peace you want, and I like the sea waves sound and the seawater, it feels so relaxing.



It was 7 am in the morning when I went out to take a walk, but of course, I did my morning routine first.



I was about to go to the sea when I suddenly saw my sister and Jax laughing, it really hurts seeing them together, but I still smiled and walked away.



Maybe Jax likes my sister too, they have the same age, they're both smart, and both of them look like a model. Jax was handsome, freaking handsome, and they look good together.



I went inside in our mansion to avoid them, but when I entered the house, I saw my dad. Oh! I forgot. I love my dad. He always supports me in everything, unlike my mom.



"Why you didn't eat last night?" Dad asked

Oh gosh! What will I say?! "uhh b-because I'm still f-full," I said stuttering.



"You're full? What did you eat then?" He asked suspiciously.



My heart pounded, I lied, I did not eat, I was just at the shore watching the sunset. After that, I immediately slept.



"Ok fine, I did not eat because mom and Sophia will just rattle on some nonsense things about me in front of all of you. It's embarrassing. I feel like I do not belong here like I do not belong to this family," I said.



Then he sighed, "Hija, you belong here, you were my daughter, just ignore them," he said.



What? Ignore them? Their words were like a knife stabbing in my chest, but I just let them because I can't do anything, a sixteen-year-old girl that dreams that her life will change, that everyone will love her.



"Dad, why don't you just told them about what I feel, huh?! Why my sister is the only one that always gets the attention? Getting what she wants? While me, I was just here, treated like nothing!"



"Ashrielle!" I turned around, and it was my mom, here she is.



"Enough, Ashrielle! Why don't you try to scold her, Chris?! Your daughter is too spoiled," mom shouted.



"My daughter?! She was also your daughter! And I will not gonna scold her because she didn't do anything wrong! Maybe Sophia, and you are the ones who need to be scolded!" Dad replied angrily.



I left without saying anything while mom and dad are still arguing. I went to the seashore to ease the pain. Luckily, my sister and Jax were not here. They are at the mansion, witnessed everything.



I sat down and hugged myself, I just let out my tear to escape, I was tired, tired of my life, they always blame for everything that I didn't do.



I feel someone's approaching me, but I never mind who it was. I'm tired. All I wanted is care and love, but how? It's too impossible because they hate me.



"It's nice here." it was Sophia, and I knew that she will just say some nonsense things about me or some hurtful words.



"Did you know that you're the reason why mom and dad always ended up fighting?" She asked, looking at me intensely, then she continues talking



"And you really can't have the attention because you're a loser, you're dumb, and what did you just say earlier? You can't get what you want?" She asked



I ignored her. I know she will just gonna hurt me.



"Yes! You really can't get what you want. It's because Jax is only for me, you really can't have him, he hates you, and he can't like you back, you know why? Because he loves me! He lov---"



I stand up, stopping her from talking. I looked at her and smirked.



"Do you know why he loves you? Because he likes a bad girl, a brat one! That's why he loves you!" I yelled.



"Stop it! What do you think of me, Ashrielle?! Low class?! Choosing a girl like that?!" Jax asked angrily. I don't know that he was listening.



I looked at him, fighting at his dark, brooding eyes. He looked at me coldly and darkly, like he wants to hurt me.



"Yes! That's what I think about you. Why? Do you think Sophia is not like that? Ahhhh... You really don't know because she always acts like an angel in front of you, but when you're here, she was like a dev---



I suddenly stopped because of what he did. He took my hand too tight, then he talked.



"I love her, and I accept her, I accept everything about her! Don't think that I can like you back, because I can only treat you as my sister, you're very too young for me." He said



I know that one day he will gonna say that to me, and yes, he just really did. All I can feel right now is pain. It hurt so much, I wanted to be swallowed by the darkness right now.



I looked at them for a moment and immediately went inside in our mansion. I went to my room and cried really hard in there.



People may use to see me smile, laugh, and having fun, but the truth is my heart was broken into pieces.



I hate when people can't see the wrong in their actions, but see the wrong in yours.