Looking British

“The plumbers are coming today.”

It was Tuesday morning. Karen was in her dressing gown, eating a scone at the breakfast table. Jay was already reading the paper.

“Ok.”

“You might want to get dressed- they’re coming at eight-thirty.”

Karen wrinkled her nose.

“Don’t you want to lend me a t-shirt?”

He put the paper down.

“My clothes are difficult to put on,” she told him in response to his quizzical expression.

“Let’s go see what we can find.” As an afterthought, he added. “Ronny’s coming too. Overseer.”

Jay’s room was quite different from hers. Darker colours on the bed, no striped wallpaper in his space. His walls were a stark white, decorated by colour photographs of pales. No people. Save one picture on his night stand.

And Jay had a walk in closet which used to be an adjacent room. Karen followed him in that direction.

At first all she saw was a row of suits and she couldn’t help teasing him.

“You do have t-shirts, don’t you?”

“Somewhere,” came the amused reply.

Karen heard his voice but it sounded a little muffled. She stood in front of a wall of shoes in pure amazement.

Slops, trainers, mules, formal shoes, moccasins, in all shades of brown, grey and black. He even had dancing shoes.

“Dancing shoes?” she mouthed to herself, incredulously.

“Karen,” Jay called, from somewhere behind a barrier that was made of only clothes.

“I’m afraid I’m lost,” she said, only half serious.

“Just come around the t-shirt,” she heard him laugh.

She did as he said, looking at the wall of drawers.

Probably has his boxers and briefs by colour in there, she thought.

Her smile disappeared as she turned her face forward and walked straight into Jay’s chest.

“Ow,” she said. “Why is your chest so hard?”

He laughed out loud. “I hope I haven’t broken that cute nose now. I’m sorry.”

He put an arm around her shoulders and suddenly she felt so small. Gently he turned her towards shelves. “There are my t-shirts. There are the golf shirts, sweatshirts jerseys…”

“You have more clothes than me, Jay Madison,” she claimed, staring at each shelf respectively.

“Probably.”

Quickly, Karen realised the room wasn’t so complicated. The drawers and racks were an island in the middle of the room. There was a good two yards between the island and the walls or shelves. Against the right wall, was a handsome chest of drawers. Next to his shirts was a shelf with shorts and then another rack with what looked like casual trousers, jeans, sports jackets and other coats.

She shrugged off the sensation of awe and reached to the back of the t-shirt shelf for a heather grey one, which happened to say Oxford University.

“Good choice.”

“At least I’ll look British like Mrs Brown,” she smiled cheekily.

Just as they were getting out of the closet, the doorbell rang.

“I’ve never known plumbers to be on time, let alone early, but it must be them. You can get dressed here, if you like, and I’ll take them upstairs.”

“Thanks. Could you grab the shorts on my bed on your way down?”

He nodded and closed the door behind him.

Untying her robe, Karen threw the t-shirt over her head and wriggled until everything was in place.

She heard Jay speak and heard a female response.

“Female plumbers?” Karen murmured.

A few minutes later, she heard Jay say something just before he opened the door to his bedroom. Karen moved toward him and he grinned.

“You don’t even need the shorts, Fox.”

Indeed, his shirt hung practically to her knees as it was.

“For my dignity,” he was told.

“I see. So I can’t stick around and watch then?”

“Why absolutely not, Mr Madison.”

“That’s Lord Madison, to you,” he told her sternly, closing the door as he left.

Once the elastic waist band of her grey shorts was in place, she headed downstairs.

Jay’s office door was open and Karen nearly collided with her puppies at the door. She managed to scoop up Uffizi as she poked her head in.

Veronica stared at her in mild disbelief.

“Hi Veronica. I’m sorry, Jay, are my furballs bothering you?”

“No, they actually kept me company when you overslept at breakfast yesterday.”

Uffizi was busy licking Karen’s face as she spoke, so she put her down and the pair of them ran to the kitchen like a pair of children on a hunt for treats.

“Thanks for the t-shirt.”

“And the shorts?”

Her left hand pulled the shirt up and very briefly the shorts were in sight.

Jay noticed the shorts and the even toned skin of her thighs.

At that moment the doorbell rang again.

Karen took one look at the look of growing disbelief on Veronica Heaves’ face and said, “I’ll get the door.”

On her way there, she heard the taller brunette lady hiss, “Isn’t that your shirt? What was that about shorts?”

Karen opened the door. Three men in overalls came to attention.

Reading her t-shirt the oldest one spoke.

“Good morning, Lady Madison.”

Karen smiled just as she heard Veronica fairly screech, “Lady Madison?”

“We’re the plumbers come to fix your pipes,” one of the younger men said with a half-smile- which quickly disappeared when the first one elbowed his ribs.

Karen’s smile widened but she said nothing because Jay chose that moment to appear behind her.

“Are these the plumbers, Karen?”

His accent seemed to set the precedent. The trio almost bowed to the tall gentleman with the blue eyes and dark hair.

She looked up and said, “Yes.”

“Come in,” he told them, a hand still on the small of Karen’s back.

“The interior designer’s already here to make sure you don’t damage her tiles and wallpaper.”

Veronica stood by the stairs stiffly- trying to control her rage.

As a result the plumbers looked wary at having to work with the rigid, rather formidable woman in a power suit.

The party of six headed up to the first floor. The oldest of the three plumbers asked to check the main bedroom’s system before shutting it all off.

Veronica said for them to follow her imperiously. She stalked in and Jay later said he thought she would faint in shock.

Karen’s robe was an incriminating pool of peach silk on Jay’s unmade bed.

“Please excuse the disorder,” the owner of the house said drolly.

One of the plumbers coughed.

One it was clear that the first floor didn’t have any problems, one of the workers went down to switch off the mains. Karen laughed to think of how he would treat Mrs Brown.

“Veronica, I think I’ll leave you to it- I must get to work some time.”

Wisely he didn’t carry the misunderstanding about Karen’s identity any further by suggesting they consult Karen if need be.

Veronica nodded in response, still not trusting herself to speak. She led the way up to Karen’s room, leaving Jay and his house guest alone in the passage.

Karen burst out laughing. “You’re purely evil.”

“Me?” he feigned innocence. “I’m not impersonating a British Peer.”

“Neither am I! I only smiled at them.”

“I should’ve kissed you goodbye to teach you a lesson.”

Kiss me whenever you like, Jay Madison, she heard her thoughts sing.

Out loud, she said, “Veronica looks set to murder me as it is, so I’m glad you didn’t.”

A shadow crossed his face so quickly Karen almost didn’t see it. Then Jay bent down and kissed her forehead.

“There. I just did it and Ronny never saw anything.” Pause. “Good bye Lady Madison,” he teased, heading down the stairs. “Tim’s going to love this one.”

Karen merely laughed over the initial surprise his warm lips on her face caused.

Later in the morning, she overheard the plumbers discussing the concept of separate bedrooms beings so British. Veronica worked with them all morning.

She declined lunch with Karen saying she had to get to another site.

“Thank you for your help,” Karen said when they were near the front door.

“You’re welcome.” Then she was gone.

Mrs Brown was a few yards away. “Come have your lunch child.”

Karen turned around and grinned. “Yes, ma’am.”

She had taken to eating at the kitchen counter as Tim also enjoyed keeping the kind Mrs Brown company.

“Tonight’s my evening off,” the older woman told her. “What would you like for dinner?”

“Me?” Karen asked.

“Of course! I’m asking you, love.”

“I don’t know…” she thought for a while. “Can you make me a pie?”

“Can I?” was Mrs Brown’s response.

When Jay tasted it he said, “I don’t think my dear Brownie’s ever put so much love in anything she’s ever made for one of my guests.”

“really? Don’t say that or else I’ll feel like I’m overworking her.”

“Ha! Mrs Brown thrives on work. I suppose she feels she owes it to my mother.”

“Your mother?”

“Yeah. She- Brownie- has been with her since before I was born. And Mother being Mother felt she couldn’t let me go without a gift… so she gave me dear old Brownie who was so proud of the responsibility. Still is.”

“She kind of reminds me of my nanny. I begged my mother and father to keep her on until I was thirteen!” Karen smiled. “All she did was help me with homework and teach me how to bake, those last years.”

Jay groaned. “You can’t do that with one hand can you?”

“I can hold an electric mixer,” came the indignant reply. “Whatever I can’t do, you can.”

That is how they came to be making cookies when Uffizi started howling.

“What in the-?” Jay started.

“It’s just one of the puppies being a dog,” Karen said.

Jay did as he was told and placed the first batch of cookies in the oven.

Just as he taking them out, Prado came down the stairs.

“Karen, you dog is wet,” Jay said, tasting a cookie.

Her eyes widened and she ran up the service stairs to her floor. The noise grew louder the higher she climbed. Water rushing out of a faucet.

“Oh no!”

She headed across the studio floor to the yellow bathroom. The water was everywhere- absently she thanked her stars that her unfinished work hadn’t yet been shipped to the house. both the hot and cold taps spewed water that was already pouring out of the tub and onto the tiles. All Karen could do was pray that she didn’t fall as she called out to Jay.

She managed to turn the water off but Uffizi was still howling and the sound of water continued in the en suite bathroom.

“I’m coming, Uffizi darlin’.”

Her moccasins were ruined but she went into her room. Water was all but gushing out of the toile from where she stood!

Uffizi was marooned on the bed and Karen could see paw prints on the lovely bedspread. She would have laughed at any other time to imagine her beloved puppy pacing n anxiety.

The dog’s call of distress reduced to a whimper when it caught sight of Karen’s red hair.

Karen shut off the water as quickly as possible then turned back to rescue the frightened puppy. What she didn’t expect was for Uffizi to place her front paws on the wooden rail at the foot of the bed and propel herself into Karen’s arms.

Karen felt herself slipping but for some reason couldn’t- or wouldn’t- let go of her dog to save herself. Her head hit the floor and Uffizi began howling again.