If Rowan was being more than honest, he would have told the mage that his greatest fear was that Syryn would never love him back. Yes, it was a stupid thing to worry about in the grand scheme of things. The universe could end and Rowan wouldn't care. He had allowed Syryn to die for the world once upon a time. A mistake. He had married a woman he hadn't loved because they told him he needed her power to save the world. He had shed blood and sweat for them once upon a time. And yet it only left him jaded and feeling hopeless. Rowan was a selfish, selfish, man. This time he would follow his heart. No more sacrificing Syryn or arranged marriages, no more bowing to the whims of fickle deities.
"Why do you think I never loved you?" Syryn asked, wondering if he was humouring the fantasies of a liar.
The answer was ready on Rowan's lips. "Because I don't deserve your love."
Was that guilt he saw in Rowan's eyes?
The mage raised a brow. "Did you cheat on me?"