Chapter sixteen :)

"Why did I do that?" Harry brushed his fingers through his hair hysterically as he turned around and walked from one side of the room to the other, over and over again. He just agreed on meeting his mom and talk with her about their fight. But he didn't mean it, he felt brave at that moment Louis took his hand, he thought he would be able to do it but now he just felt helpless. 

"Because deep down you know it's the best for both of you." Harry suddenly stopped and looked over to Louis who sat in the chair at the table. "No, it's not Louis. You don't understand." It sounded angrier than it was supposed to. Louis looked at him and got up "No, you're right, I have no fucking clue." He looked mad and sad at the same time.

"I have no idea what she could have done, so horrible that you prefer to sleep in your car then talk to her, but I know what it means not to be able to talk to her. So what Harry? What did she do that you hate her so much?" Louis spat. It hurt to see Louis's angry face and getting yelled at by him. And even more, did his words. Harry could feel his eyes tear up, he had never seen Louis like that before he looked sort of intimidating.

It wasn't supposed to sound mean. Harry thought but now Louis was mad and yelled at him which made the whole situation worse. He was so tired of fighting with the people that meant something to him. The feeling of regret washed over him and he lowered his voice.

"I- I- can't-" Louis cut him off "Let me guess, you can't tell me?" He glanced mad. Even though Harry didn't know Louis that long it almost broke his heart to hear the older yell at him. He was the first person Harry had started to trust after years of being alone and avoiding everyone around him.

He knew he shouldn't have trusted anyone, it always led to something bad. It was a mistake. "What is your problem?" Harry's voice broke. He bit his tongue until he tasted blood to keep his tears from falling. You could see the sadness mixed with anger in Louis' eyes as he took a step closer.

"What my problem is? You don't talk to me, that's my problem!" Louis' face started getting red and his eyes looked watery. "You sleep in your car, you rather moved in with us without even knowing us than to go home, and you- you wake up shaking in the middle of the night. I just want to help you, Harry." His voice broke and he suddenly looked down at the ground, avoiding looking into Harrys eyes.

"We only know each other like two or three weeks, why do you expect me to tell you anything about me huh?" Harry felt his lip tremble. To fight with his mom was horrible but Louis was the one person he thought would change something but maybe he was wrong. Why should someone he only knew a few weeks to be able to change his life in a good way?

"Because I care about you is that so hard to believe?!" It was silent for a few seconds. "Right. Like the others at school that 'care' just to find another stupid reason to make my life feel like going through hell?" Harry yelled he didn't notice a tear roll over his cheek. He wanted to believe Louis, it was different with him as with the people at his school and they both knew it. The pain of regret spread in Harry's chest as he saw a tear stream down Louis' face. 

"I was always honest with you. I would do anything to make you feel better but I can't if you don't talk to me, I just wanted to hear the truth!" That was the moment Harry got so mad that he lost control over himself. "Do you really wanna know?" More tears slipped out of Harry's eyes as he looked Louis dead in the eyes."It's all because of him, that one guy who destroyed my whole life and my mom believed him over me. Me! Her own son and told everyone I'm a liar."

"The day I slept in the car, she and I fought and I had no other place to go because I have nobody else than her! Okay?!" He yelled, Louis just stood in front of him his eyes wide open and his expression got sadder and sadder as Harry went on. The words just fell out and there was no way to stop.

Tears streamed all over Harry's face but he didn't even notice he just carried on "And those nightmares, they aren't nightmares, they are flashbacks. But worse. Every fucking time one little thing reminds me of him I get them." Harry took a deep shaking breath in and everything burst out of him. "I can literally feel his disgusting hands on me, the way he pushed me against the fucking wall and taste the taste of alcohol on his lips. I experience it all over and over agai-" He stopped what did he just do? Louis was shocked. 

He just told Louis everything, now history would repeat and Louis would call him a liar, and tell everyone at school and his life would be worse than before. "Harry I-" Harry cut him off and grabbed the pink hoodie from the bed. "Save it, you don't have to say you believe me. I'm used to it." Then he ran out of the room through the living room past the other three boys and their confused faces and walked out the door.

"Harry!" Louis called from the doorway as Harry already stumbled downstairs, he could barely see anything through his tears. He almost fell. As he reached the front door it occurred to him that they were snowed in but he opened the door anyway hoping that he could at least walk a few meters. But the snow was still too much.

What now? He couldn't just go back upstairs and act as nothing had happened, Louis knew everything. "Fuck!" Harry yelled and slammed the door shut. There hung a sign on it which said,

'Public washroom ->'

It was probably the only place he could be alone and he didn't have to go back to the apartment. Harry stormed into the small room as he heard Louis run downstairs. He locked the door behind him, leaning back against it, sliding down to the ground. His whole body was shaking and he breathed so quickly he got dizzy, which he knew wasn't good.

That happened some times after one of his nightmares, he needed to drink something otherwise he may pass out. It happened once that he really passed out and woke up laying on the ground of his room the next morning.

Luckily there was a sink on the other side of the room. Getting up and walking towards it was harder than he thought. The black circles started appearing, coming closer with each step he took. He leaned against the sink tightening his grip on the edges until he could see clearly again.

His eyes looked red and swollen through the mirror. Harry flinched as he heard a gentle knock at the door "Harry? Are you in here?"  Louis' voice made Harry's lip tremble again, it was better not to answer. But why was Louis still there? Harry expected that Louis would stay in his apartment waiting for Harry to tell him he doesn't believe him and that he shouldn't make fun of something like that as his mom did.

After he drunk a few sips of water he got back to the door. "Harry please answer," Louis whispered carefully. His voice sounded hurt. Harry didn't want to talk he didn't even want to be there anymore but where else should he go? It was too much snow outside to even walk.

Harry could hear how Louis sank down at the other side of the door. "Hazza, please," he whispered desperately. "I'm so sorry for what happened to you." New tears streamed down his face, he tried to be as quiet as possible so Louis would think he wasn't there and hopefully go back to the apartment soon.

After a while of silence Harry wrapped his arms around the pink hoodie he had taken with him as he left, it still smelled like Louis. He held it tight and cried silently. Maybe Louis would leave when hours pass.

But Louis was still there and continued talking with his adorable accent. "Listen I didn't mean to yell at you I-" He paused "I was just, upset that you didn't talk to me. I thought you trust me."

The weirdest thing was he did, Harry had no idea why, but he did and that drove him crazy. "And I just couldn't comprehend that you tried everything to avoid your mom. Because- you know, my mom." Louis' voice broke at the last word. "I just want to tell you that you can live with us as long as you want and- and I believe you." Louis knocked at the door, two times. "Promise!"

Something in how Louis said those words made Harry actually believe that Louis told him the truth.  He slowly got up on his shaky legs, he didn't care if Louis knew what happened or that his whole face was streamed over by tears, he needed Louis now. Because he believed him.  He was the only person who really truly believed Harry.

Harry's shaking hand turned the key and opened the door slowly. He bit his lip until he tasted the salty taste of blood. Louis opened the door wider and their eyes met, Harry's whole body was shaking, he hated it but he couldn't stop it. Then he remembered every time his hand had started shaking, Louis made it stop by just a touch. "Please make it stop." He whimpered.

Louis imminently took a step towards him just before Harry broke down into his arms. "I'm sorry." Harry sobbed and pushed his forehead onto Louis' shoulder, he let everything out. "You don't have to be sorry for anything," Louis whispered in Harry's neck, it made Harry shiver, he tightened his grip on the back of Louis' hoodie. Louis held him tightly like Harry would fall apart if he didn't.

It felt like the safest place Harry could imagine, his smell of coconut and vanilla even made him stop thinking about Charly. The only thing he could think of was Louis and the slight sound of his heartbeat that Harry could hear, it calmed him down. He was just so grateful that Louis was there for him.

After a while Harry's muscles started to relax, the shaking got less, and exhaustion washed over him. Louis let go of the younger boy and persuaded him to go back to the Apartment with him. "What about the others?" Harry asked emotionless on their way up.

His eyelids were heavy and his legs felt like they would give up every second. "I told them not to worry before I came after you." Niall opened the door after Louis had knocked. He held two cups in his hands "I made you guys some tea." He looked concerned at Harry.

But he didn't ask anything, he must have heard. "Thanks, lad." Louis took both of the cups as he walked in, straight through the living room to his bedroom. Harry followed quietly without looking at anyone he just starred at the ground. Louis placed the cups on the table and walked over to the closet. "Here take this one." He handed him an all-grey Hoodie.

Harry looked asking at him. Louis pointed at the upper part of his own Hoodie to show Harry that his shirt was all wet from crying. He didn't notice it until now, his shirt stuck on him as wet as it was and it was white so it got see-through, the tattoo on Harry's collarbone got visible. Harry took the hoodie without complaining and gave Louis a look that signalized him to turn around. He was still too insecure to take his shirt off while someone could see him.

"I like your Tattoo." Harry turned around to make sure Louis didn't look at him. "Does it have a meaning?" He asked looking up to the ceiling. It was two birds, he got it on his 17th birthday with permission from his mom. It should remind Harry that he was free now. "Freedom." That was all he said. "I'm done." Louis turned back to him a cup of tea in his left hand. "You should drink your tea."

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Actually, Louis wasn't supposed to find out now but I was up for the drama so here you go :)

Hope you like it

xx