Chapter 7: Bloodthirsty and Mad

Rogue F and I needed to find someplace safe to talk, to stay in, to hide for some time. We needed to find out who organized the attack, and we needed to find out why.

We got a room at a motel, not far from the city's limits, but far enough to get away from the crowd and from the people who may be watching us. Still, with our paranoia, we checked every corner and kept looking over our shoulders until we were sure there was no one following us.

I sat on my bed, with my head laid on the wall and my brain racking for any information, a clue, a lead. I found none.

Rogue F came out of the shower, watching me like I'm some kind of ticking bomb, fragile, cautionary. When the time comes, I'll explode like the rest of them, question is, when would that be?

I kept thinking back to the explosion, how I looked at Alpha Q before it all went off. He looked so confused, so helpless.

And now he's dead.

Do you really believe that?

"He's not dead," Rogue F declared like it was some sort of command, convincing himself to believe what he said but failing to do so.

"We don't know that," I whispered, barely letting him hear me as it was more to myself than him. Maybe I wanted to see him dead, but why?

Why what?

Why do I want him dead?

You don't. You just know that there's a big chance he is. And you, as yourself, have already accepted it as it is.

"I don't want to believe that he's anything but dead. He couldn't have survived that explosion," I said, shaking my head to get out of my thoughts.

"You did," was Rogue F's argument. "And with just a scratch to your leg. How is that, Phoenix X? You're so convinced that he's dead, and yet, you survived with barely any damage."

The look of disbelief on my face he could see from miles, he had seen this look many times before but I cannot believe he would accuse me of something of that sort.

"Are you actually accusing me of bombing an HQ, of sabotaging a plan that I helped build."

"Maybe I am, you didn't want to help anyway!"

"I survived with a limp that may be fatal to our survival. What makes you think that that could mean I orchestrated the attack?" I stood up, getting water from the table.

"How is a limp fatal to our survival?" He asked me, clearly trying to keep his voice down and almost failing, again, to do so.

"If we are to go and find out what happened there, who happened there. We would, most likely, need to fight, and guess what, Rogue F? I can't fight when I can barely walk," I gritted my teeth as I walked back to my bed.

"And I don't expect you to. As a Rogue, I was trained to be a single-handed spy. I can find out what happened there on my own."

Stubborn as ever, I see.

Self-centered too.

"No," I said simply.

"Did you just 'no' me?" he dared.

"Yes, I said no. You're not going anywhere until we come up with a plan and until we get enough information to actually know what we're going to do," I emphasized to him. No way in hell is he going to do something he knows nothing about.

"If you hadn't noticed, Phoenix X, or maybe you hadn't gotten it through your thick head of yours, you don't control me, not anymore. And you won't ever again."

"And if you hadn't noticed, I'm very persuasive, so sit down and we will find out anything we need to before acting with force, agreed?"

His nostrils flared, and he clenched his jaw, but he agreed with me anyway. Don't control him, huh?

➰➰➰

I have considered many possibilities, even those that seem as impossible as they are disappointing. But that night, my mind feels more alive than it has been my whole life.

All night, my mind continuously plays one song, over and over again. I should be bored of it, but the melodies have a melancholic feeling that keeps me numb enough to keep going.

I can hear it, it's distant and void, but I can hear it. The sweet, sweet music of those who dance the night away with their lover while I lie here, alone and injured, but most importantly damaged, as anyone could ever be.

Still, it felt good to be like this. I find peace in it even, serenity.

And my longing for blood, to pay for the blood of those they spilled, is stronger than it has ever been. I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to hold off my hunger for long.

Bloodthirsty and mad, restless I became, while my former partner lies sleeping soundly beside me.

Rogue F never wanted to join RAYA that year, but I had convinced him to. And that lead to our downfall.

I was just the same broken as Ultimate Z was, we bonded over that pain of losing our best friend. And as I was crumbling at 6 years old, he stayed strong and moved on even if he was breaking inside.

But he got his back, all the while mourning his late lover.

And I? I did not. And I had to live with knowing that Rogue F could've been free from all this.

It was my selfishness that led us to die here today, and my rage that made him what he is. Ruthless, emotionless, merciless, but caring, loving, merciful.

But this story is far from over, my friend. As I said before, this bit isn't the one we should be worrying about yet.