Comeuppance

It feels like it's all green. Slowly fading to blue and pulling black holes. Like a disease that's always been there. Like all the cures for everything, but I refuse to use the right one. A forest in the back of your mind, you know where all the trees are, every single leaf mapped out but you cannot see it.

You don't try to, you don't know if you want to. Inside a giant burning bottle. Always burning. You wonder if you keep it from heat will it dissipate and you'll be okay but you keep putting it back in the fire. Over and over. You can't rest. Ever. Even when you do rest you can still see when the fire dies.

Noiselessly bloody tears, one last exhale. Owning metal stakes screaming into flesh, puncturing ribcage, scraping skeleton, protesting blood. Red and glistening drops crying from protruding ends. Blocking up the cavity in my chest with liquid warmth, climbing into the wooden box, pushing off and flying, my heart's rhythm starting to sing a new lullaby just for me.

Warm hands hug mine and pull, dragging my misshapen body out of life, cruel, colorful, void, and tangled Seething wonder devoid of meaning, allowing shapes to be free for my amusement.

My stomach churning like I had consumed myself and swallowed my tongue.

A raging fireplace, broiling, burning a hole in my stomach and shoving itself through my body and out my skull.

The shower walls swim back into focus. All the skin I have itches, rejecting my body, the body I keep killing.

There she is, my eyes water, my chest tightens around a stake, blood rushes up my throat, my such a sight.

I would die a thousand times to see you only once.

Shining peaks divide the cascade of her black rippling hair, Death's horns. like a broken halo watching over me while she's asleep. Her arms wrapped around her knees, tiny body tucked to my side like a rapport. Clothes stuck to her pale shining skin from the shower.

Her breath, like a breeze off of a lake, purring.

My heartbeat stops singing, she looks up at me eyes forfeited, glowing collecting tears. smothering hers with her hand and whispering with encouragement. "I'll see you again soon.". She stumbles into my lap crying, arms around my neck, looking into my drowning soul with her soaked face, shining, glowing eyes, hair in perfect lengthy bangs across her forehead, draping over her tiny shoulders like a cape. She puts her forehead on mine, I have never been so happy in so much pain.

Lumpen body shoved into the shower corner, water running, blood snaking the shower bed, the drain sucking it up like a hungry void devouring my sins. I feel content, what a disgusting human I am.